The Fake Kind of Love

I was greeted by icy air as I took a step outside. I turned to the left on instinct. I found her. I knew she would be here. Swinging on the porch swing. "Kayla?" I said asking why she was out here. She turned to look at me slowly.
Her eyes were bloodshot. The skin barely clinging to her cheekbones. She opened her mouth as if she was going to say something. Her teeth were still bright white. Her mouth hung open until she turned her head away from me. She had red lines around her neck. Not a surprise, she's tried to kill herself more ways then one.
I walked over, and sat next to her. Placing my hand on hers, I turned my face towards her. "Kayla, we need to talk." I whispered my words so not to hurt her ears. She was delicate. Fragile.

"Dylan," She breathed. I wondered if it hurt for her to talk. I squeezed her hand. Remembering my name was the first step. She wasn't improving physically but mentally, well hopefully.
"Kayla, I have to leave." I whispered looking down. This hurt so much. I had been with her before her sickness. In the beginning she would call me, begging to come over and talk to her. When she got worse I never left her side. Allowing everything she did to herself. Now, she barely remembered me and she hasn't called me over in months.

She nodded. I wasn't sure if that meant she agreed or she understood. "No Kayla, im leaving and I'm never coming back." I said glancing at her face. She nodded once more. This time I saw a tear slide its way towards her chin. She didn't want me to leave but she knew I had too. My chest throbbed. "What happened to your neck?" I asked wanting to change the subject.
She looked at me with wide eyes. Her hands squirmed free of my grip and shaped a circle. She was shaking. I spotted a scar near her wrist. Looking at her, I grabbed her arm gently and pulled up her sleeve. She turned away from me, knowing I would hate it.

Her arm read "I'm fine" in scars. I sighed. "This is why I'm leaving. I don't want to see you hurt yourself over and over again. I care about you to much." I said letting go of her and standing up. She stood up too. Her blue eyes gazing into mine. "Go back inside and lay down." I told her, pointing towards the house.
She grabbed my hand and tried to pull me into the house with her. I stood there watching her use up her strength. My thoughts flashed back to when she was a cheerleader. Flipping around and doing stunts was her favorite thing to do. Her muscles must have faded away along with her smiles.

Soft lips touched my cheek forcing me to come back to the present. I smiled. Our last kiss, before this, was beautiful. It felt like it meant something. A few weeks later she turned ill and I kept dreaming that one day she will wake up and we can do it all over again. Maybe making it mean more then last time.
I let go of that thought recently. She wasn't going to wake up and suddenly be better one day. She had changed and I didn't like the new her. I guess what we had wasn't love after all. "Good bye Kayla." I said moving out of her reach. I turned around and walked back to my car. I didn't look back. I was afraid I might change my mind. Her old face floating in my mind as I drove away.