The Envelope Please!

Every serious writer knows the cardinal rule -- include a self-addressed, stamped envelope with every snail-mail submission. The returned SASE or the publisher’s letterhead envelope, however, are not automatically what they seem to be – therein lies the mystery.

Granted, many queries are submitted via email these days, however, for certain editors, I believe the hard copy still holds an edge. With that in mind, I still use the ancient postal service for a number of my submissions.

When I first began writing many years ago, I joined a writer’s group, read articles on the subject, and listened to published authors expound on submission do’s and don’ts. All these sources indicated that an SASE in your mailbox is generally considered bad news, i.e. rejection, and that a publisher’s letterhead envelope is a good thing, i.e. acceptance.

Picture the scenario: You open your mailbox. Lurking among the bills and junk mail is a plain white envelopes that you carefully affixed your name, address, and postage stamp onto a couple of months ago. Your first reaction to the sight of a returned SASE -- deflation. You naturally assume it holds the dreaded rejection of your wonderful article or book.

Imagine my shock then, the first time I opened a plain white envelope that originated in my own home, and found an acceptance letter inside – a letter that actually promised money and publication! Whoa, this editor cheated! Wasn’t I suppose to receive that acceptance in a real letterhead envelope with my name and address typed by some secretary at the publishing company?

Not that I’m complaining -- an acceptance is a welcome sight in any envelope, but, how to control that instant reaction at the sight of a SASE in my mailbox? I began looking for clues. Aha! A return address label or stamp in the upper right hand corner seemed a dead giveaway for SASE-sent acceptances – until I realized they too were not to be trusted.

There’s no doubt about it -- the unopened SASE is a mystery -- sending mixed signals – rejection or acceptance? Like the Oscar envelopes -- you don’t know what the heck is inside until its opened!

As if the ambiguous SASE is not bad enough, the publisher’s letterhead envelope is even worse. Open the mailbox and see one of those crisply imprinted suckers inside and your hopes rise like a hot air balloon. When the envelope contains a rejection letter, it’s doubly deflating -- and puzzling. What happened to your SASE? Did they steam off the postage stamp for their own use, or do they plan to correspond in the future?

The most ambiguous missive I ever received from a publisher was delivered by UPS. When the UPS delivery man handed me a large cardboard envelope with the return address of a magazine I had recently queried, I was ecstatic. I KNEW the envelope contained an acceptance and figured this was big-time indeed! To my dismay and amazement, the envelope held a form rejection letter. What the heck was that about!

Nowadays when I open my mailbox, I try not to let the mystery of the envelope affect my emotions too much. Just as you cannot judge a book by its cover, you cannot judge an envelope by its origination. Hey, maybe emailing my next submission is a better idea after all!