The dismay of online correspondence

No doubt there is a lot excitment when one first joins an online adult dating site. All the potential to meet someone new. All the members and the ease of making first contact. There are a lot of reasons to be optimisitic and encouraged. You are alwayst informed about how easy it is to meet new people and told how to utilize all of the great and shiny features that most sites offer. However, there is a flip side to all of this great ease of
use/instant technology. But do not despair, it's perfectly natural.

You may be wondering what I'm referring to exactly. I'm referring to simple correspondence. Correspondence outlets include instant chat and email. So you've joined a new site and the experience is still somewhat new to you. You find someone you would like to contact and get to know better. You fire off your witty email that you are sure is eye catching and feel good about yourself for taking the first step. In your sent email box you see that your choice of potential mate has read your email. And then...no response. You may feel a little disappointed, but don't, it's part of the online dating site paradigm.

You see, if you are a man sending a woman an email, you are lucky if she even reads it. Women receive far greater emails than men. Most of the email women receive, for lack of a better term, can be very...uncooth. (this will be another article). So, if your email does not get read, don't start thinking that there is something wrong with you. Your email may have simply gotten lost in the shuffle of over a hundred other email messages.

On the other hand, let's say that the email you sent was read and you received a reply. You may have even exchanged a few email messages, with you sending the latest one in reply to a previous message. The message you sent was read, but no reply. Well, take it for what it's worth, your correspondence has ended. There could be many reasons for this, but it has ended. Just as quickly as correspondence begins, so to does it come to a screeching halt. Again, this is simply part of the new paradigm of online dating. Most of this is simply due to the sheer numbers of members and channels of communication that are available and the lack of time to be cordial to every member a person has correspondence with. It can be overwhelming, and seem harsh if you are on the wrong end of it, but that's the way it works.

In conclusion, if this happens to you (and it will), do not take it personally or let your mind over anaylize a situation that warrants no analysis. Don't forget, the person you contacted may have already been further a long in their correspondence with another member and made the decision to pursue that avenue. Or, they did not feel that "click" and decided to close the channel of communication with you.

It's only human to feel the emotion of rejection. Rejection comes in many forms and some people may be more susceptible to it than others. Over time, however, you learn that this is simply part of the process and that it is not something to get discouraged over.

There are a lot of parrallels between traditional dating and online dating, and this is one of them. Think about how many times you have strucken up a conversation at a bar or some other public place. You think everything is going well and that you may even get a
phone number. And then the conversation dries up and the other party has disappeared or is shortly conversing with someone else. It happens all the time. It's natural. It's part of dating. The bottom line is, do not forget that you are engaging in dating practices that adhere to the same traditional rules of dating. Do not be mad at the other member and do not think there is something wrong with you. Dating is hit or miss sometimes. So, chin up.

Get back out there and have fun.

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