The Difference between You and Me - Chapter 23

First off, I just want to ask you to please not to judge Colie too early. There is a reason why she is acting the way she is – and no, it’s nothing like Zane is manipulating her to feel her emotions or anything like that – but I can’t tell you what it is, because it will ruin the plot – or, at least, what I have coming for you concerning the plot. And also, a few people have said that Colie has changed a lot since the beginning of the story, and yes, obviously she has – do you expect her to be all sane and cheerful and strong-willed when she’s just been kidnapped…again? By someone who is supposed to be her enemy but by someone who makes her feel things beyond what she knows? She thinks she is at the mercy of Zane, but she’s not.
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I awoke slowly, groggily, stretching languidly to ease out my stiff muscles. It was only when I came to my senses and felt something similar to very thick, somewhat heavy rope that I snapped my eyes open.

Zane was lying exactly opposite me, lying on his side, as was I, with one arm slung over my waist, keeping me safe against his chest. I noticed that I was clutching at his shoulders, a position I realized with some mortification that I had fallen asleep in.

As much as I told myself that it was wrong to be in the arms of someone that I was supposed to loathe, I couldn’t help but snuggle closer to him. My eyes took in Zane’s sleeping form.

Unlike Vincent, and many other supposedly dangerous characters from novels, Zane did not look vulnerable while he was sleeping. He looked exactly as he did when he was awake, only his eyes were closed. His skin was smooth as it slipped over his cheekbones, the angles sharp. His pink, pouty lips were curved up in that mocking smirk I had become accustomed too, and in the morning light streaming through his bedroom window and shining across his face, I marvelled at the length of his eyelashes; they were longer than any I had ever seen, including, I noted with some embarrassment, my own.

I didn’t really know what I was doing when I lifted my hand and tentatively touched Zane’s cheek. But I did know that it sent shock ripples of pleasure coursing through my body, right down to my toes. You are just imagining these feelings, Colie, I told myself firmly. You are just imaging them.

My hand trailed down his cheek, over his lips, my fingertips lingering there just a little too long, and brushed against his left cheekbone. My hand ran through his hair, and my breath caught at how beautiful and wild he looked when it wasn’t tied at the nape of his neck. It hung in chestnut strands around his face, his shoulders. My gaze moved down…and I almost jumped out of my skin to find that his eyes were open.

Being only a couple of millimetres away from him, this was quite startling. Not only because of the bright, vivid emerald green of his eyes, but also because of our close proximity. My cheeks were stained red, and I instinctively tried to wriggle back from him, but his iron grip around me became pure steel, and he pulled me closer to him so that the only thing my head could do was tuck into his shoulder.

To the casual observer – if someone walking into a random bedroom where a man and a woman were sleeping could be called casual – this might look like a normal position for a couple who were in love. But firstly, we were not in love, and secondly, we were not a couple, ergo – we shouldn’t even be in that position.

I batted at his shoulders, but his warning growl stopped me almost immediately.

I found that I quite liked being in his arms, the warmth, the security and just being in his embrace was as comforting as anything I had ever experienced. But I quickly shook off my thoughts when I remembered that he was Zane.

But…he had been very kind to me the night before. I decided that I should thank him. I gently pulled a little away from him, and he hesitantly allowed me to move a little further back, but only enough so that my face was no longer buried in his neck. No, now my face was directly opposite his, and we were so close that our noses brushed against eachother’s. ‘Thankyou.’ I whispered softly.

He smiled, that small smile that made my heart swell. But he said nothing. I frowned when I realised that something inside me craved to hear his voice, yearned for that mocking lilt it always adopted. Instead, he began playing with my hair. I smiled inwardly, that old habit again…He twirled a curl of my hair around his finger and let go, and it sprung back onto the pillow.

I was quite startled to realise that had been this been a couple of weeks ago, I would have definitely not foresaw myself in that position with Zane of all people. But it wasn’t like I had a choice in the matter. But then again, it wasn’t like I was desperately trying to get away from him.

When I next glanced up, I blinked, dazed, to find myself staring directly into Zane’s eyes. They really were beautiful. And everytime I looked into them, I couldn’t help but count each of the golden spikes that rimmed his eyes. One, two, three, four, five, six…

I blinked out of my thoughts when I realised that Zane had glanced down, which didn’t allow me to continue with my counting. I looked down, and found that his eyes were moving jaggedly across my nose. ‘What are you doing?’ I asked curiously.

‘Counting your freckles.’

Ahh…I didn’t realise how satisfying it would be to hear his voice. Gravelly, deep, husky, and very masculine. Completely Zane… But my satisfaction was soon erased when I took in what he had said. ‘What?’

‘I’m counting your freckles,’ he repeated.

I blinked, surprised. He was counting my…?

‘Why?’

He didn’t answer my question, but instead grinned, seeming pleased with himself. He looked back up at me then, and I couldn’t help but be dazzled again by his eyes. So, so green… ‘Six.’

‘Huh?’

‘You have six freckles.’

I groaned and tried to hide my nose with my hands, but he caught my wrists, moved them to one hand and brushed my hair away from my face with the other. The friction of our skins against eachother caused tingled to run up and down my body. But I ignored those feelings. I had always hated my freckles. I would have an Okay-ish face if it weren’t for those damned things.

And then suddenly I was being flipped over onto my back, and when my eyes flew wide, startled, I found myself looking up at Zane, who had positioned himself above me, his hair dropping down on either side of my face, as if it were a veil or curtain.

I was frozen as Zane bent his head to my face, but he surprised me – not for the first time. His lips softly crushed my cheeks, my nose, and I started to get more and more confused when the places where his lips landed got more precise, landing more closer together. And then I came to an abrupt realisation. He was kissing my freckles…

My heart slowed, skipped a beat completely and then frantically began to du-doom, du-doom, du-doom against my chest. And then that particular place between my thighs heated up and burned, and I groaned inwardly. Not again…

But his lips felt so soft again my skin, and after he had kissed all my freckles once, he began to kiss them again, and my hands came up to tangle in his hair and pull him closer and my heart was racing and I wanted him and I needed him and the feel of his lips and I wanted him to kiss me and…

‘Zane,’ I whispered, my hands stroking the hair that I had bunched in my hands. ‘Oh, Zane.’

His lips stopped moving against my face, and my hands tugged at his hair, trying desperately to pull him back down to me again. I needed it.

But he looked me in the eye, emerald green into murky hazel, and said softly,’ Kiss me.’

I immediately obliged, my head pulling him down that extra centimetre so that it allowed his lips to collide with mine. But a nagging little voice at the back of my head would not give me peace. What about Vincent?’ it hissed. I don’t care I don’t care about him right now. It was the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

His tongue probed my lips, and I opened them slowly, and his hot tongue slid inside. I moaned as his tongue ran along the length of mine. His hand that had previously been resting on my hip moved upwards, rested on the side of my breast and slowly rubbed up and down. ‘Oh,’ I gasped. ‘Oh.’

And then the moisture started burning between my legs, and my heart leaped. Zane broke off the kiss, his eyes staring intensely into mine, the emerald green darkening to the colour you might see as the result of rained-on grass, his nostrils flaring. Oh, no. He could smell my excitement. His predatorial side, the dominative part which was first nature to him, was growing stronger. Because that was the instinct.

Before I could think of anything else, his hands locked around my wrists, pinning them down beside my head. His body grew heavier on mine, closer, as it grinded against me, and I let one, small moan escape my lips. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

The voice inside of my head grew stronger, louder. Vincent, Vincent, Vincent, Vincent, It chanted. Vincent.

When his lips came up for air for the slightest second, I took my chance. ‘Stop.’ I gasped. ‘S-s-stop.’

He stilled, his body a dead weight on top of mine. He looked me in the eye, and I found it terribly hard not to look away. And then he was rolling off of me,, and that horrible, overwhelming feeling of losing a part of myself was apparent in my body. I needed him to touch me again. But I sat up, instead, and positioned myself as far along the bed away from him as I could.

He stared at m e, seeming to see not only the surface but so much more beneath it - my soul.

He cocked his head to the side as if curious, and then a small smirk curved the edges of his lips, and I let out a breath I never knew I had been holding. I didn’t like the tense atmosphere that sometimes settled uncomfortably between us – it made me sad. But I still wondered what he could be smirking about.

I followed the direction of his gaze, looked down, and blushed a fiery scarlet, I’m sure, from the hotness I felt heat my cheeks. God, how many times could a girl blush in ten minutes? The dress shirt that Zane had let me borrow as pyjamas the night before was showing my yellow-bra to the world, as, somehow when I had fallen asleep, two other buttons had came undone. That was no the most blush-worthy thing, though. No, that would have been the fact that the yellow shirt U was wearing had hiked up to my hips, exposing my yellow panties to Zane. And, Oh, my God, they were see through! I. Was. Mortified.

I squealed, jumped up onto my knees, pushed the dress shirt down my thighs and hurriedly buttoned up the buttons.

When I next faced Zane, his hair was a tangled chestnut confusion, hanging halfway down his back, his lips set in a feral snarl, his position on th bed lion-like. He looked positively wild – like a predator. And then I realised that my half-nakedness had done that to him. I jumped off the bed immediately, running a shaky hand through my already dishevelled hair.

I backed away from him like I had just found out he had the plagued, backed away from him as if my life depended on it. My back was positioned towards the door, so I reached my hand behind for the door handle and drew in a ragged breath. ‘I…I just…’ I honestly had no idea what to say. Thankyou? I’m sorry I kissed you? I’m sorry you turn me on? ‘I’ll just be going now.’

He leaned back onto his hands, his legs stretching out along the bed. He surveyed me from beneath downcast eyes. Damn, those eye-lashes… ‘Colie?’

I blinked. ‘Yes?’

He grinned devilishly, that sensual smile curving his mouth. He leaned forward a little. ‘Your buttons have come undone again.’

I got out of there fast.
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It was only as I was staring into space as I lay sprawled on my bed that I realised I felt a burning sensation start in my stomach, made its way up to my throat. I knew what that meant – I needed to feed.

Okay, so I’d admit it, when it came to feeding, I was most reluctant to do it. I just didn’t like the fact that the essence of my life was what I’d have to get from another – by force, mainly. So I never, ever drank human blood – had never even tasted it in my life – and I didn’t ever want to, because if I start, whose to ay I’ll be able to stop? It’s not fair to take the life of someone who has done nothing, someone who is innocent, who has a past and a future and memories and a family. It’s just not fair.

If I was being honest, I had no idea how to approach Zane with this matter. I knew he already mocked my way of life, though he didn’t seem to be intent on swaying my diet habits. I decided that I would mention it in casual passing. Or so I thought, until my door opened.

I jumped about a foot in the air. ‘Don’t you know to how to knock?’

Zane smirked. ‘What’s the point? I already knew you weren’t doing anything in here.’

I pursed my lips. I said. ‘Anyway, never mind that. What are you doing here?’

‘Well,’ he casually observed my bedroom. I know! - I was calling it my bedroom! ‘I haven’t fed in a long time. So I’m guessing you haven’t either.’

I blinked. It was amazing how we seemed to be thinking of the same things. ‘I…I guess I haven’t.’ Yes, acting like it wasn’t something I had considered, I decided, was the best way to go. ‘But now I think about it, I am kind of…’ Don’t say the word, Colie, don’t say the word..

‘Thirsty?’ Zane guessed, and eyebrow raised.

I fought back a glare and smiled stiffly. ‘Yes.’

‘Good,’ he said, leaning his back against the door, and folding his strong arms against his muscled-up chest. ‘Because we’re going to feed today.’

I ran a hand through my hair. ‘Where?’

He thought for a moment, rolled his eyes to the side as he did. ‘Well, I’ve decided that maybe we should go tonight at Vere-Da-Vere Rocks. There’s lots of animals there, particularly –‘

‘Wait a minute,’ I said slowly, breaking him off. ‘You mean you’re letting me drink animal blood?’

He looked vaguely amused. ‘Yes.’

I beamed at him, clapped my hands together, feeling suddenly ecstatic. ‘Thankyou, Zane! Thankyou.’

I knew that perhaps I was overreacting, but it meant a lot to me that Zane was taking on my decisions in this area and letting me do what I wanted to do

Something flickered across his face – adoration, devotion, confusion? I couldn’t be quite sure.

Then he said, ‘Get changed, then come and meet me in my room. We’ll be leaving in half an hour.’
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I was decidedly picky on what to wear for our hunting trip. I didn’t want to dress too sloppily, for obvious reasons. And I didn’t want to dress too fancily, in case Zane thought I was trying to impress him. I couldn’t wear too revealing clothes that showed lots of skin, because the way Zane looked at me when I was just in his dress shirt would stuck in my memory forever, but it was easier for me to hunt in because I had less things hanging off my body.

In the end I chose black, three-quarter length sweatpants with a grey tank-top imbedded with rhinestones. Footwear was an ever harder decision, because I needed something flexible for hunting. So I chose plimsolls. You may be thinking, ‘I thought she said that everything he bought her was in the three-digits and even four?’ Ah, yes, they were. My sweatpants were
from Collén Bréton; my tank-top was Bryonté, and my plimsolls were Gavine Remere. I felt very…misplaced.

I went to find Zane.

I knocked on Zane’ door tentatively, peering around the hallway as I did.

As much as I tried to dismiss the idea, I couldn’t help feeling like this mansion I was being forced to live in was becoming to feel more and more like home – like a real home. It was minimalist, it was true, but the few cosy things it did have were heart-warming, made you feel like you had just come back to your own country after a long holiday in another one.

Zane opened the door, and I started, my eyes flying wide. He was shirtless, exposing that muscled-up chest teenagers only dreamed of that I had been exposed to about a half dozen times. He was wearing a ripped pair of Levi’s, and black Doc Martens. His hair was down, falling to halfway between his elbow and his shoulder. He looked beautiful and positively…wild.

‘Aren’t….aren’t you going to wear a shirt?’ I spluttered.

Zane looked decidedly haughty. ‘No.’

‘Why not?’ I demanded. And this question was only for my well-being really, because…we;;, because seeing him like that did strange things to the insides of my stomach.

‘Because I’m hunting. I don’t wear shirts when I’m hunting.’

‘But…but…’

He raised an eyebrow. He drawled, ‘Yes?’

‘I…people might see you.’ There. I had finally come up with a rational explanation. Not that it was the truth.

His eye caught mine, and he slowly advanced towards me. Pure predator. ‘Are you sure it’s not for any other reason, Colie?’ He purred, and I backed up quickly, only to hit the door as soon as I did.

I tried to dart quickly to the side, but he shot forwards, put his hands on wither side of the door on each side of my head. And his face was moving closer to mine, and his eyes, his beautiful, stunning green eyes were piercing mine, and his lips were almost on my lips. Oh, no…

But then his head tilted to the side and his lips softly pressed onto mine, and Oh, yes, yes, yes, Zane, Zane, Zane, was all that spun through my mind. His lips pressed harder onto mine, and I moaned as my hands came up to tangle in his thick, silky hair. His tongue coaxed open my lips, and I panted as his tongue stroked over mine, slow and sensual and just…just amazing.

‘Zane,’ I whimpered. ‘Oh, Zane.’

We were probably there for at least a couple of minutes, but then I remembered where I was, and why I was there, and I pushed him away, hard, while trying to regain my breathing. I wasn’t the only one panting, though, and I got a weird satisfaction from that.

Zane looked at me, and it was a look I had never seen before, like he was confused yet trying to figure something out, something beyond me.

‘We better go now.’ I said finally.

He said nothing, only reached into his chest of drawers and rummaged around.

He pulled out his usual black tank-top and turned to face me. ‘If it makes you happy,’ he said, that smirk I knew so well pulling up his lips, as he pulled it over his head. ‘Then fine.’

I blushed furiously.
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Vere-Da-Vere Rocks was an earthy place, with rocky hills and steep walk-ways. And absolutely no one was there. ‘Because there’s too many wildlife here,’ Zane had told me. ‘The pathetic vermin are scared.’

I had glared at him warningly. ‘That’s not nice, Zane.’

He shrugged casually. ‘Life’s not nice. I got over it a long time ago.’

I frowned to myself at how causally he stated this, but thought nothing of it. Zane took cynicism to the point of a certain extreme. I knew I’d never be able to make him think otherwise.

Zane suddenly tore off his chest – literally tearing it to shreds – and threw the scattered remains on the ground. I gawped. I would never get used to the sight of his abdomen and chest muscles - never

‘What are you doing?’ I squeaked.

He raised an eyebrow haughtily. ‘I told you – I don’t wear shirts when I hunt.’

I said nothing.

A deer was munching on leaves on a lower branch, and I was surprised that Zane didn’t go for that one straight away.

I turned around. ‘Aren’t you going to feed?’

Zane raised an eyebrow, as if I were missing out on something crucial. ‘I don’t eat these…creatures, remember?’

I blinked, and my stomach dropped curiously. ‘Zane,’ I pleaded. ‘Please.’

‘No.’

‘But Zane,’ I felt like crying if I was being honest. And there I’d thought that Zane would be drinking the blood of animals instead of human. ‘Please.’

He said nothing, only growled, that warning growl I was starting to become very familiar with.

My lower lip trembled and I bit down on it hard. ‘Please, Zane. Please.’

He searched my eyes for a moment, and then sighed. ‘Colie…’

My hoped instantly rose. ‘Will you do it?’

He glared at me, and I knew that was a yes. I squealed and jumped up and down in excitement, and I threw my arms around his neck. ‘Thankyou Zane.’ I breathed into his ear.

His arms immediately crept around my waist, his lips moving to brush my neck. I knew I had to stop things while I had the clear-head to do it – even if his arms wrapped around me did funny things to my body.

I backed away from him and raised my hands. ‘Hey, hey, hey. We’re hunting now.’

He growled again, his lips set in a snarl. I struggled to stop myself from rolling my eyes. His dominant side was coming out – not that it wasn’t always there for show in the first place.

‘Don’t give me that look, Mister,’ I warned, pointing my finger at him. ‘Now come on.’

We searched around for a bit for the ideal prey. Zane looked disgusted, and I got a secret pleasure from the fact that he was changing his diet habits – even if it was only for one time – for me.

It was good that they were all a safe distance away from us, because they couldn’t hear our approach, and even if they could, our super-speed could out-run them any day.

Zane growled, a different growl this time, a hungry growl. I turned to where he had spun around, and he was looking at a rabbit, a very overweight rabbit with beautiful, snow-white fur, her nose twitching as she nibbled on the grass.

He was about to lunge at it, but I screamed out, ‘No!’ and grabbed hold of his forearm.

He looked bewildered – very cutely so. ‘What?’

Okay, so I could see the attraction Zane might have saw for the rabbit, but he just…he just couldn’t kill the poor bunny. It probably had a family and everything.

I had screamed so loud that many creatures in the vicinity had jumped, startled, and took cover behind the bushes. The rabbit had hidden behind a small tree.

‘Don’t eat that rabbit,’ Yes, I was feeling somewhat uncomfortable. ‘Choose something different.’

His expression turned so cold it could have frozen. ‘What, am I not allowed to eat rabbits now?’

‘Zane, she probably has a family and everything.’

His eyes turned mocking. ‘So?’

I struggled to find some rational explanation. ‘So…we’ll find something different.’

The smell of blood was beginning to get unbearable. It was a scent that always lingered in my mind – the slightly solid, eccentric taste of the richness of blood, the taste that stayed with you at the back of your tongue. Yes, it was addicting.

He looked at me, a type of look that made me writhe underneath the pressure of it. Then, in a movement so fast I would have missed it had I blinked, he sprung himself at a baby deer I hadn’t noticed, and my eyes widened and my throat closed up at the image.

The deer wasn’t the predator in the last moments of its life - Zane was. With a snarl, Zane twisted the deer’s neck with a horrible crunch, and the deer wailed a deep, muted noise that kept on replaying inside of my head, over and over again. Zane bent his head to the deer’s neck, and I turned my head sharply away so I wouldn’t see anymore. It always got me. Everytime. The fact that I was killing animals in order for myself to survive. It was selfish, and worse, I couldn’t stop. A silent tear rolled down my cheek, and I brushed it away. I did not need Zane seeing me so weak.

While Zane was feeding, I sub-consciously looked around, and I caught sight of the rabbit that was still shaking behind the small tree. I smiled inwardly and cautiously moved closer to the tree until I was just short of the trunk, and the rabbit backed away.

I knelt down and pulled some good, green grass from the ground, then held it in my palm and tentatively held it out for the rabbit. It jumped towards me, and I grinned when it started munching on its food inside of my hand. It didn’t seem to mind when I slid my other hand underneath its stomach and lifted it onto my lap. I stroked its glorious white fur as it continued to eat, and I couldn’t help thinking of how it really was overweight.

I ignored the burning that glazed my throat because of my desire for the rabbit’s blood – I just ignored my desire. This rabbit would live a good life and when she died she would not die because of a blood-thirsty vampire. I would make sure of it.

‘Colie, you need to feed now.’

A voice broke me out of my thoughts. I turned my head to look up at Zane, while the rabbit continued to munch away. ‘I don’t…I don’t know.’

His eyes narrowed. ‘What do you mean?’

I turned back to look down at the rabbit, stroked its back tenderly. ‘I’m not sure if…I’m not sure if I want to feed today.’ This was a lie, of course. Zane knew it, too. Of course he did.

‘Colie,’ that warning growl again.

The rabbit had finished eating, and its nosed burrowed into my hand for more grass, but when she found there was none, she jumped from my lap and scampered away. I stared forlornly after it before getting up from the ground, brushing the dirt away from my knees.

‘Zane,’ I said quietly. I refused to look at him. ‘I really don’t want to.’

Instead of sating anything, he drew me into his chest, his arms locking around me. He tilted my chin up so that I had no choice but to look at him.

I knew what was coming before I had a chance to do anything about it. His lips crashed down on mine, punishingly hard, and I whimpered as his lips nudged mine open. My hand reached up to his shoulders, moved to his chest and rubbed the bare skin there. He groaned. His tongue slid along mine, and I froze when something warn, sweet, eccentric and entirely welcoming flooded my senses. That blood that Zane had drank, remnants of it were still in his mouth. And he was…and I was drinking from him.. Had I had a clear head, I would have pushed away from him and would have tried to frantically wipe any trace of blood from my mouth. But my head was clouded and I needed that blood and it was so warm coming from Zane’s mouth that all I could do was search his mouth for more. And then I had licked away all traces of blood, and it was then that I froze. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! What had I done? I pushed myself away from Zane and scrubbed my mouth with the back of my hand furiously. ‘You did that on purpose!’ I hissed at him.

He didn’t deny it, only shrugged, looking wholly unbothered by my anger. ‘Yeah, I did.’

It infuriated me the way he took this all so causally, as if he didn’t care. I sprung myself at him with a shriek, and he caught my wrists as I aimed a slap across his face. ‘Let go of me!’ I struggled and tried to wriggle away from his tight grasp, but he pulled my wrists further in and pulled his other arm around my waist. I batted my hands against his shoulders, but he would not let me go.

His arms wrapped around me comfortingly, tenderly, like a lover. And I think that’s what set me off.

I started crying, huge, body-wracking sobs that took control of my whole body. His arms tightened around me, and I buried my face in his shoulder, and when he let go of my hands they slid around his neck.

I hated what I was. Loathed it. I was a monster, and would be one for the rest of my existence. Why did Vincent have to order Dean to change me? Why couldn’t I just be a human?

‘Colie,’ Zane soothed. ‘Beautiful Colie. Don’t cry.’

After a few moments, I calmed down, but I did not move from his arms. It was comforting to be there, to have someone hold me. And I knew that it made everything more special because it was Zane who was holding me.

My hands played with his hair, while he pressed soft kisses on my neck. No, I did not feel guilty.

I finally moved back from him a bit, but not from his arms. I sniffed and looked up at his eyes – the eyes I knew so well. ‘I hate it Zane,’ I whispered. ‘I hate it so much.’

‘I know, baby. I know you do.’ He kissed my cheek sweetly, tenderly, and I smiled. ‘But sometimes, things happen for a reason, Okay?’

I nodded and buried my head back into his neck, feeling comforted and warm. Because Zane was holding me.