The Dark or The Light? (Chapter 9)

PS. OKAY GUYS PICTURE THIS DRESS A LITTLE SHORTER AND WITH A STRAPLESS CORSET TOP!!! I COULDN'T REALLY FIND A DRESS THAT MATCHED MY DESCRIPTION SO YOU WILL HAVE TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION!!!! (I love gossip girl by the way!)
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Chapter 9

"Izzy Its time to get up. Izzy. Izzy." Mark whispered.
"Nooo." I said groggily. "I don’t want to." I heard him chuckle.
"You have to. You only have a few hours until your luncheon."
"So?"
"So you have to get ready."
"Can’t we just skip it and stay here all day?"
"As much as that sounds appealing we have to go. Come on sleepy head."
"Mmm." I grumbled. "Fine but just so you know I hate you." He chuckled again.
"Thanks. I like you to." He kissed me on the forehead. I slowly got up and swung my legs over the bed. I walk out the room towards the kitchen. I always thought it was too modern for a cottage like this. It had marble counter tops and brand new cupboards. It even had a dishwasher. Well I guess that is a plus for me considering I hate doing dishes. I walked over to the jug and switched on. I felt like a nice warm hot chocolate. Mmm even the thought of it is getting my taste buds watering. I felt two arms wrap around my waist.
"Want one?"
"Yes please." He kissed my neck and I shivered. That was my weakness. I heard him laugh quietly. "Now I know your delicate spot." I giggled.
"Whats yours?"
"That’s for me to know and for you to find out." I smiled and once again Lucus popped into my mind. I sighed and lend towards the counter. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.
"I’m sorry. Its just-"
"Its okay. You never have to be sorry Izzy. I’m the one who pushes you sometimes. Its me who should be apologizing." I turned to face him then put my hands to his face.
"I don’t deserve you." I whispered.

"Don’t ever think that." He whispered it but you could hear the seriousness in his voice. I stood on my toes and leaned in towards his lips. I kissed them lightly, I guess it was to make sure I could handle the sudden closeness and I can. I pulled him closer to me. His lips moving with mine, it just felt…indescribable. That was what is killing me. A part of me hates me for doing this because it feels like I am betraying Lucus but the other half is feeling so much ecstasy that it doesn’t care. I decided to go with the latter half. I pulled him even closer so I could deepen the kiss but he pulled away. His breathing was raged and uneven.
"Lets not push you to far." I pouted my lip and nodded my head. "Not yet. It’s to soon." He whispered in my ear. Just then the jug started to make a loud whistling sound. It made me jump. I quickly took it off the stove and poured it into the cups. I walked over to the fridge and opened it. I gasped. My grandfather was not under any circumstances kidding about storing junk food. There was chocolate of every type. Seriously every one you could imagine plus lollies and soft drink. There was also savory food but it was the chocolate that stood out. I shook my head and grabbed the milk. I have to remind myself to thank him later. Even though he just might have led me in the direction of being obese still you got to love the man. After I finished preparing our drinks I sat on the counter top and watched while Mark attempted to make waffles. It was pretty funny. I know I shouldn’t have done it but I grabbed a chocolate bar out of the fridge and ate almost half of it by the time he had finished. Chocolate for breakfast is not the best but when you don’t have any parents in the house and your hungry well I think the majority of teenagers would grab it.
"There you are my lady. " Mark said handing me two demented waffles. I bit my lip trying not to laugh but then I looked up at him. His whole upper body was covered in flour and there was waffle mixture on his face. That pushed me over the edge. I burst out laughing. I almost fell off the counter.

"It’s not funny." I looked up at him and just started to laugh again. "Fine no breakfast for you." He turned away.
"No, no, no. Wait I’m sorry. Your right it’s not funny." I said biting my lip. He turned back around and I had to bit it even harder. "Can I have my breakfast now?" He raised his eyebrow. "I promise I won’t laugh…hard." He turned back around. "I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I won’t laugh I swear." He handed me the plate and I quickly took it in case he changed his mind. He smiled and leaned forward to kiss me. I quickly dodged it.
"Uh uh. You’re not kissing me with that all over you." He smiled wickedly.
"Is that so?" I quickly put the plate down because I knew what was coming next. I turned and ran towards the door but he grabs me and spun me around. I was laughing so hard my insides hurt. He kept on rubbing his face against mine to make sure I was getting the worst of the waffle mixture.
"Mark stop!" I yelled and laughed at the same time.
"Not until you kiss me."
I quickly grabbed his face and pushed my lips to his. God it felt so good. I pulled back and opened my eyes. His eyes were closed. I kissed his forehead and then leaned mine against his.
"I don’t think I will ever get used to that." He whispered.
"Me to."
He opened his eyes and they were sparkling. I loved that look on him so much.
"I love you." He whispered. I felt my heart stop. Actually I felt my whole body stop. I didn’t even know if I was breathing anymore. He flicked his eyes open and saw the endless fear in mine. I wasn’t ready for this! I WASN’T READY FOR THIS! I felt tears well up in my eyes.
"Izzy I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to say it back. Your not ready I know but I just wanted you to know that I do. I am not going anywhere Izzy. I will be with you forever or as long as you want me." I was looking into his eyes. I knew he meant and that was scary. He couldn’t’ mean it. He has only known me for a few days. But he was perfect. He made me laugh and he was so sweet and he just…knew me. I think I might love him to but I don’t know. What if he leaves me like Lucus did. I couldn’t even bear to think that.
"Izzy say something please?"

Words weren’t really happening for me right at this moment so instead I leaned up and kissed him softly. I lingered for a while before pulling back. He smiled at me.
"You have to trust me. I won’t leave you. You are the only thing that matters to me now. The only person I want." I gave him a small smile and nodded my head.
"You should probably go and have a shower now." I said the first thing that popped up into my head and I have to admit it wasn’t the best. He kissed my cheek and then disappeared into the bedroom. I realized then that I do love him but it’s saying it that might be the problem. I walked over and sat on the stool. I was so dazed out with my own thoughts that I didn’t hear the door open.
"Isabell? I have been like knocking for the past ten minutes." My mother said. I looked at her. "Izzy honey what’s wrong?" That snapped me back to earth.
"Nothing. Nothing I was just um…thinking about today that’s all."
"Oh. You can back out if you want to sweet heart. There is no pressure."
"I’m fine mother. Don’t worry." I smiled at her. She looked down.
"Um…do you mind telling me what you were doing to get all this stuff all over you?" I giggled.
"Mark was trying to cook waffles."
"Ah ha. Well that makes sense. Any way your grandmother had the liberty of hiring a make up artist and hair dresser for today and she wants you up there right away."
"Oh great. I’ll just grab my stuff." I saw her eyes widen.
"OH MY GOD!"
"What?" I asked scared now.
"YOU DON’T HAVE A DRESS!" She basically yelled.
"Mom, mom. Calm down. I found one its okay."
"What? Where?"
"In the closet in the bedroom. I’ll show you."

I pulled her towards the bedroom and picked up the yellow dress and the black heels. She gasped and then walked towards the closet. She opened and a huge smile spread across her face.
"Mom what is it?"
"This used to be my stuff. I can’t believe they kept it. All of it."
"This dress used to be yours?"
"Yes. It was my favorite."
"Wow. I didn’t even know."
"Well anyway we better get up there. Don’t want to keep your grandmother waiting."
Right then Mark walked out in his suit. It was a black suit with a light blue shirt underneath that had one button undone at the top. I have to say he looked dead sexy.
"Oh, hi Mrs. Olane."
"Hi Mark. You look very dashing in that suit of yours." He gave her a small smile.
"Mom." I whispered and shook my head slightly. I heard Mark chuckle.
"What?" I rolled my eyes.
"Lets go."
I grabbed my chucks and then grabbed the shoes and the dress and we made our way to the house. We walked in the back door and everything was in chaos. There were people running around and putting flowers down. I saw my grandmother.
"Isabell." She said walking towards me, "what has happened to you? Come one we need to get you up stairs and ready the guest will be arriving soon."
I was rushed up the stairs to my bedroom where I was then thrown into the shower. It felt nice against my skin. Once I was done I dried myself then put on the dress. It fit me perfectly. I decided to leave the heels till last because I knew that they would no doubt kill my feet. When I came out I saw two women standing next to my grandmother talking. They turned quickly around and saw me standing there.
"Wow. Isabell you look beautiful." My grandmother said. The other two ladies nodded in agreement. "This is Sandra and Julie. They will be doing your hair and make-up. They don’t’ speak English so there is really no point in talking to them." I just nodded my head. I was then pulled towards the chair. In front of me was a whole desk full of make up and hair accessories. The blonde haired girl (Julie) was starting to pull on my hair with the brush and the red haired girl (Sandra) was working on my make-up.

"Um…Grandma?"
"Yes dear?"
"Isn’t this a bit much for a lunch with twenty people?" She was silent. "Grandma? It is twenty people right?" still nothing. "Right?"
"You see Isabell everybody sort of found out about our private luncheon and well I couldn’t just turn people away." I froze and I realized the two women had stopped working on me.
"How many?" It was mealy above a whisper.
"What?"
"How many?" I said a little higher. I was trying to keep my cool.
"Just around…fifty." I spun around.
"FIFTY PEOPLE!" I screamed. Just then my mother came rushing in.
"Whats wrong?"
"Oh nothing just that there will be fifty people coming to my party." I said in a fake voice.
"WHAT!?" My mother screamed.
"Oh will the two of you just calm down. So dramatic." My grandmother said.
"Mother I told you to keep it to a minimum. Why couldn’t you just do that?"
"Its not my fault everyone wants to see my granddaughter."
"Yeah the same granddaughter that happens to be here because of specific reasons other than a holiday!"
"Oh you right. I’m so sorry Isabell. I wasn’t even thinking."
"You got that right." My mother said.
"Its okay. It's fine. I’ll be fine." I was more saying it to my self than to them.
"Well if you’re sure."
"Yeah."
"Okay. Sandra, Julie." My grandmother said pointing to me. Once again they pulled and applied.

After a long hour of endless pain the two ladies were finished. Julie spent most of the hour straightening and then curling the tips of my hair. She then pulled it to the side of my head and tied it at the bottom of my ear letting it flow down the front of me. Sandra applied foundation and blush to my skin then put mascara on my eyes with a lot of black eyeliner. She then put on a plain color lip-gloss and I was set.

I got up out of the chair and thanked the two women even though they probably didn’t understand me because the whole time they were speaking some weird language. I grabbed the two black high heels and slipped them on. Wow they were high. I’m pretty sure my feet will be killing me by the end of the day.
I practiced walking in them. I stumbled the first few times okay most of the time but I eventually got it. I then walked to the mirror and I was surprised that I actually look well…hot. I smiled. The door opened and my mom’s head popped in.
"Hey sweetie, all the guest is here so we have to go done now." My mother said. My heart was starting to race.
"Mom I’m nervous."
"Me too."
"Why are you nervous?"
"Because I know what is waiting for me downstairs."
"What do you mean?"
"Sweetie these people can be…vicious to say the lest. They will be nice to your face then as soon as you’re gone they will say something awful. I just hope that doesn’t happen with you."
"Oh."
"Lets make a promise." She said walking into the room. I gasped. She looked stunning. The dress fit her perfectly. Her hair was in a high ponytail and her make-up looked flawless. "We won’t leave each others side the whole way through this okay?"
"Deal."
"Lets go. Can’t keep the party waiting."

I linked her arm through mine and we walked out the hallway and down the stairs. We could hear everybody talking. I stopped before we rounded the corner and took a deep breath. No one knows about you or why you’re here. Just make polite conversation and it will all be over with. I told myself. We walked around the corner to come face to face with what looked like more than fifty people. Suddenly the whole room went silent. I looked at all their faces and they had been looking at us like we were the most beautiful things in the world. Some of them literally had their mouths dropping. I blushed a little. Even though I knew they were staring at my mother. We walked down the stairs and people were still quiet.
"Mom?" I whispered with out moving my lips.
"Just smile." She whispered back. I don’t think she knew what to do either. We came to the bottom of the stairs and that when we saw our grandmother. She walked towards us and grabbed my hand. She then led us towards a group of women. They were older ladies and looked very posh. Also a bit stuck up to I must admit.
"This is my granddaughter Isabell and of course you know my daughter Maria." That sentence let off everybody in the room. Suddenly they were talking louder and louder to try and hear over the other people.
"It’s a pleasure to meet you Isabell." They ladies said. I couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying because I kept on hearing everybody else’s conversation.
"She sure is beautiful…I wonder who the father is…he must have been a looker as well…Lucky bitch got all the good jeans from her parents…Wonder what she is doing here now?..." and so on and so on. I think I liked the silence better. After that my grandmother introduced me to everybody. The majority of them were young men around nineteen or twenty. She kept on telling me that they came from nice families. I felt like saying, "Like I would go for these losers!" And besides I had the best boy in the world. I wonder where he is anyway.
"I’m just going to go and look for Mark." I whispered to mom.
"Okay sweetie but hurry. I don’t think I can stand one more second of this by myself." I giggled.

I started to push my way through people trying to find him. Then suddenly I saw him leaning against the doorway with a drink in his hand. He looked so sad. I quickly made my way towards him. His face lit up when he saw me. I quickly pulled him into my arms.

"Do you have any idea what it’s like to talk to these people?"
"That fun huh?"
"Seriously all they do is bitch, bitch, bitch. I think half of these women could make the devil look like a saint." He chuckled.
"Try growing up in it."
"I’m actually surprised you turned out normal."
"Well that was all thanks to Jeremiah." We both started to laugh. I looked around and people were still staring. "Want to dance?" He asked.
"To what there is no music."
"Yes there is in the room over there." He said pointing to the ballroom.
"Okay."
He grabbed my hand and led me towards the room. I saw there was a band playing. They were playing soft classical music. He led me directly to the middle. There was no one else dancing but there were a lot of people there.
"I don’t think we should. I mean no one is dancing."
"So?" I rolled my eyes.
I put one hand around his neck and the other in his hand. He put his hand on my waist and brought me closer, while bring our entwined fingers our now touching chests. Then he placed his forehead on mine and we began to sway back and forth. I closed my eyes and drowned out all of the sound and just let the feeling of peace wash through me. After a while I opened my eyes and he did the same. I looked around to see that everyone was silent and watching us. There were also other couples on the floor swaying from side to side. I blushed a deep red and Mark chuckled. Then suddenly I felt someone grab my shoulder and push me away from Mark. I heard everyone gasp and the music stopped. I almost tripped over my heels. When I was stable I looked up to see Mary.

"KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY BOYFRIEND!" She yelled.
"I am not your boyfriend Mary! Don’t ever touch Isabell like that again." Mark said standing in front of me.
"You’re going to defend her? That trailer trash!"
"I told you not to call her that! And as a matter of fact I am because I happen to love her!" His voice was so angry that it scared me. I saw her cringe.
"Her? HER!? YOU HONESTLY WANT HER OVER ME? SHE IS NOTHING BUT DAMAGED GOODS!"
"Excuse me?!" I yelled this time.
"You heard me!"
"What gives you the right to come into my home and insult me and then try and steal my boyfriend? Get out now!" I yelled at her.
"No."
"Fine then we’ll leave." I grabbed Mark’s hand and walked past her.
"I would be careful if I were you Mark. I heard she leads her boyfriends to suicide." I froze. My heart felt like it stopped beating. My eyes started to well up with tears. I turned slowly and looked at her.
"What did you just say?" It was just a whisper. She didn’t say anything but she had fear written all over her face. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!" I screamed at her. She jumped.
"I…I…I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean it."
"Sorry? Your sorry?" She nodded her head slowly. I walked towards her. So our bodies were just inches from each other. "Do you have any idea what its like to feel so broken that you can’t even get up in the morning?" She shook her head, "No? Do you know what its like to find the love of your life dead and wish that he could just wake up and tell you it was all a joke?" She shook her head, I saw tears in her eyes, and I could feel the endless tears streaming down my face. "No? Do you know what its like to wake up everyday and wonder why? Wonder why he did it and why he couldn’t just tell you and think to yourself everyday that you might have been the reason?" Once again she shook her head, "Well I do. Everyday. Every minute, every second I think of him. I remember how he used to hold me or kiss me. I remember how he used to make me laugh and cry. Then I realize that I can never have that again. I won’t ever hear his laugh or feel his kiss or even how his arms wrapped around me, and that makes my heart break even more. I’m sorry I took your boyfriend. If I meant any harm to you I am sorry, deeply sorry. But if you ever, IF YOU EVER BRING THAT UP AGAIN I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I screamed. She looked so scared that I wasn’t sure if she could move so I decided to.

I turn and walked quickly towards the back door. Once I saw the door I ran as quickly as possible towards it.

"Isabell! Isabell!" I heard Jeremiah call. I didn’t look back though. Instead I kicked off my shoes and started to run. The part of my heart that I thought was mended had now just shattered into a thousand pieces and it hurt. It was literally causing me physical pain in my chest. I felt Jeremiah grab me and pull me to a stop. I struggled in his grasp until I eventually pulled out of it.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT JEREMIAH!" I screamed.
"I want you to talk to me."
"ABOUT WHAT!? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY JEREMIAH!"
"Tell me about the night you found him. Tell me what you felt."
"What do you want me to tell you? That I felt sad? Is that what you want to hear?"
"No. I want to hear the truth! Tell me the truth Isabell!"
"NOTHING! I FELT NOTHING!" I screamed. Tears were streaming down my face.
"What do you mean you felt nothing?"
"I remember opening the door. Somehow a part of me knew what was behind it and when I saw him it was like my brain just rejected it. Every time I would think that he was dead. It wouldn’t even process. I didn’t want him to be dead. HE CAN’T BE DEAD! WHY DID HE DO THAT TO ME!? WHY?! HE KNEW HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM! HE KNEW! SO WHY DON’T YOU TELL ME SOMETHING JEREMIAH!? WHY DON’T YOU TELL ME WHY HE DID THAT! BECAUSE I CAN’T SEEM TO FIGURE IT OUT AND ITS BEEN KILLING ME!"
"I don’t know why Isabell." I brushed away the tears on my cheek to make way for the new ones.
"Do you want to know a secret Jeremiah? We weren’t even in love each other. I wanted to but we weren’t."
"There is nothing wrong with that Isabell."
"Yes there is. He had to spend his last days being with someone he didn’t even love. Maybe Mary is right. Maybe I did drive him to suicide."
"Listen to me Isabell! You did not cause him to kill himself. He was sad and depressed. He is the reason he killed himself."
"I would like to believe that. But like you said Jeremiah ‘one person’s actions always reflects on another’s,’ so maybe that means that’s its my turn."
I started to back away slowly.
"What do you mean Isabell?"
I just shrugged.
"You’ll find out sooner or later."

I turn and ran as fast as I could across the field. I heard him call my name but I didn’t turn back. I just couldn’t do this anymore. I just don’t have the strength.