The Dark or The Light? (Chapter 4)

Chapter 4.

I walked out of the room slowly and quietly. I don’t know why I was doing it, I mean this place is so big, I doubt anybody could hear me but still I felt on my guard. I walked down the flights of the stairs to the back where Mark was waiting for me. I was surprised when I saw Jeremiah waiting next to him. When I came out he greeted me.

"Good morning Izzy." Jeremiah said.
"Seriously don’t you guys sleep?" Jeremiah chuckled.
"Yeah but we tend to go to bed early."
"Oh. Okay. So…where are we going anyway?"
"You’ll see."
"There is something you should know about me."
"What’s that?"
"I hate surprises. So you should probably tell me where we are going."
"Nice try." Jeremiah said.
"Please just tell me where we are going." They both were silent. "Fine. But will it take long?"
"No and I have a new assignment for you."
"What?"
"You aren’t allowed to ask any questions." He cut me off before I could say anything. "So lets go."

They began walking towards the forest. I followed them. My curiosity got the better of me. It took us ten minutes to reach the edge of the forest. Jeremiah was up ahead which left Mark and I to walk together.

"So are you going to tell me where we are going?" I whispered.
"I heard that!" Jeremiah called back. Damn it! I heard Mark chuckle.
"No and even if Jeremiah couldn’t hear us I still wouldn’t tell you."
"Well it was worth a try." I breathed heavily. "So what’s your story?"
"I thought you weren’t allowed to ask questions." I shot him a look. "Okay, okay. My story…well…I’m eighteen. I live with my brother as you can see. I am going to go to college in the fall, to study business. I was born and raised here actually. That’s why we know your grandparents well. My parents divorced two years ago and that’s how long I have been living with my brother." We were deep in the forest now. There was a track, which was making it easier.
"Wow."
"You asked." He laughed. I gave him a small smile. I don’t know what it is but this boy seems to grab my attention.
"Why did you go and live with your parents?"
"Well…my parents, you could say, tried to buy my love. Each one was trying to out do the other. Trying to make me hate the other one more I guess. I couldn’t really handle it anymore so I decided to move in with my brother."
"Do you like living with him?"
"I love it. It is amazing. Once he took me all over the world. Backpacking through Europe, India, China, and Africa."
"That sounds amazing."
"It was. We visited the most beautiful places and met some of the most amazing people. I just wanted to stay there."
"Why did you come back then?" Mark chuckles.
"As much as I would have loved to stay, Jeremiah wouldn’t have been easy to convince."
"Why not?" It felt good asking and hearing questions that aren’t related to: how are you?
"He loves his work very much. And besides if I hadn’t of come back I wouldn’t have met you." I look up at him to see his eyes widen. Something told me he wasn’t meant to say that. "I mean…well…you…I…shit!"
"Its okay. That was sweet." I didn’t want to make him feel bad and besides It did make me feel a little better. He gave me an embarrassed smile then looked straight ahead.
"Um…what about you? What’s your story?"
"Well…I’m seventeen. My mum had me when she was fifteen. I’m home schooled. I got my diploma three months ago. I am undecided about college. I’m actually undecided about what I want to be and that’s pretty much it."
"You’re home schooled?"
"Yeah. My aunty home schooled me actually."
"Wow. I have never met someone who was home schooled before. What’s it like?"
"Fun." I said sarcastically.
"COME ON YOU TWO. WE HAVEN’T GOT ALL DAY!" Jeremiah yelled.
"Calm down! We’re coming!" Mark yelled back.

We walked for another twenty minutes until we finally reached an opening. I could hear the sound of splashing water. I walked a little further to see a waterfall. It was huge. At least the size of twelve-story building. The water seemed to flow in small streams down the side. In the middle was a huge bay. It was a crystal blue colour. The waterfall wasn’t that big or heavy it was just tall. Around the waterfall were large trees and flowers of all different colors. You could hear the birds chirping over the waterfall and for the first time I noticed the beauty of it.
"Wow." I said.
"I know. Beautiful isn’t it." Mark said.
"Come on. You have to see this view." Jeremiah said. He grabbed my hand and led me up this bunch of rocks to that led almost to the top of the waterfall. Maybe three feet down. I looked out and saw the tops of the trees. All the way in the distance was the house. But the most beautiful part was the sun. You could see the sun rising. I breathed in the beauty.
"This is a beautiful view." I said to Jeremiah.
"Yeah but that’s not the view I brought you up here for." I turned and looked at him, giving him a confused look. He pointed down to the water.
"Yeah that is…ah…nice." He rolled his eyes.
"I didn’t bring you up to look at it…" He trailed off. About a minute later it clicked.
"Oh no…uh uh…if you think I’m going to jump you are way more deluded then I thought."
"Come on Izzy. Do something dangerous." Mark said.
"Something dangerous? Something dangerous-you could get yourselves killed!"
"Its perfectly safe Izzy. Do you think I would bring you up here if it wasn’t? What kind of therapist would I be?"
"What if we get killed?"
"Didn’t I say, no questions?"
"That is not funny Jeremiah."
He gave me a smile then took off his shirt. I turned to Mark who was doing the same. I blushed a little. Mark had a really good body. Then they took off their shoes and pants (they had boxers on).
"You guys are seriously crazy."
They both started to laugh and then suddenly…they jumped.
"OH MY GOD!" I screamed. They hit the water. "JEREMIAH! MARK!"I screamed. They weren’t coming up for air. "JEREMIAH! MARK!" I screamed again. Then suddenly they came up laughing.
"That was fun!" I heard Mark yell.
"You scared the hell out of me you shitty assholes!" I yelled at them.
"Come on Izzy! Jump!" Mark yelled.
"NO FREAKING WAY!" I yelled back.
"What are you a wimp?!" He yelled at me.
"I am not a wimp! Sorry for actually caring about my life!"
"Come on Izzy! If you want to move on you have to learn to let go! Stop being afraid! Just let go!" Jeremiah yelled.
"I don’t want to!"
"Why?!""
"Because…I…I’m scared! I can’t do it!"
"Yes you can Izzy. Just believe in yourself!" Believe in myself. Believe in myself. I can do that. I can do that. Can I?
"Fine! But if I die-"
"I’ll write Fearless on your tombstone!" Mark said cutting me off.
"Funny!" I yell sarcastically.
"Come on Izzy! The waters great!" Mark yelled.
Deep breaths Izzy. In and out! I stripped off my shirt slowly, extra happy I’m wearing my sports bra. There was no way I was taking off my shorts though. Breath in, breathe out.
"I can’t do this!" I yelled at them.
"YES YOU CAN! WE WILL COUNT YOU IN OKAY! READY! 3, 2, 1…JUMP!" They called but just as I was about to I stopped.
"NO GUYS I SERIOUSLY CAN’T!"
"Come on Is! Jump! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" They began to chant.

Just jump! Just jump! Let go of everything Is and Just jump. I said to myself. I took one deep breath. I started to scream as I jumped of the edge. I felt myself falling. I felt weightless and…free. It was amazing how in a second I could feel so much. I had done something that no one else would have the guts to do. I had felt so alive in one moment than I have in my entire life. I felt all my pain and sadness disappear. In the second I felt like myself again.
When I hit the water I went straight under. I felt the warm water against my skin. I heard the quietness of the world that was living beneath my feet. I felt peace under their. I slowly came up enjoying the moment to see two amazing guys cheering.

"Wholly shit! I can’t believed you actually jumped!" Jeremiah said.
"I jumped! I actually jumped!" I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. This time it was a huge grin.
"How do you feel?" Jeremiah asked.
"I’ll let you know when I catch my breath." I couldn’t help but smile.
"I’m going to go grab our clothes. I’ll be back in a minute." Jeremiah said. I watched him swim to the edge. I can’t believe that this guy has known me three days and he has already made me feel something other than sadness. I knew that I wasn’t exactly cured. I still felt the pain but I was accepting it. Accepting the Lucus’s death. No matter how much I didn’t want to I knew that a part of me was. I turned to look at Mark. He was staring at me.

"What?"
"Nothing…its just, I have never met a girl before who isn’t afraid to take risks. You did something that 80% of people would probably to scared to do."
"Well if wasn’t for all the support I had I wouldn’t have been able to do it." He gave me an admiring smile.

He slowly moved closer towards me. I felt my smile fade, every time he got closer. His face was inches from mine. I couldn’t help it. I pushed him away. I swam as quickly as I could to the edge of the bay. I could feel the tears running down my face. Why did he have to do that? I thought. Why did he have to try and kiss me? Didn’t he know that I wasn’t ready! I started to sprint as fast as I could towards my house.

"ISABELL!" I heard Jeremiah yell. "ISABELL WAIT!" But I didn’t. I kept on running. I needed to be in my room. Away from everything. Everything I had felt had disappeared. The thought of being happy was gone. The feeling I had of being fee vanished. I got to the house in record time. I sprinted through the house and up to my room. I ran to the side of my bed, opposite the door and sat on the ground, leaning against it. I heard the door open and footsteps come to the side. I looked up and sure enough I saw Jeremiah.

"I’m so sorry. I just couldn’t…" I said. New tears falling.
"No Izzy I’m sorry. My brother is an idiot. He shouldn’t of done that. He wasn’t thinking." He sat down beside me. After he let me calm down I decided to change the subject.
"Why did you want me to jump?"
"How did you feel when you jumped?"
"Are you going to answer my questions with questions."
"Are you?" I smiled at him. I liked that feeling. He smiled back.
"Do you want to know what was going through my mind before I jumped besides deciding whether to do it or not." He nodded his head. "I was thinking whether or not falling would make me feel better or worse."
"What do you mean by worse?"
"I have…fallen already and it hurts. So much, I mean words can’t even describe and I was thinking whether or not physically falling would be the same.’
‘When I jumped though it was…amazing. It felt like everything that happened to me had just-"
"Disappeared." Jeremiah said finishing my sentence.
"Yeah. Like in the split second I was the old me. Not afraid to do anything. Fearless."
"That’s exactly how I wanted you to feel. I wanted you to let go of everything. You see Izzy when people go through things like you or any problem they close themselves off from the world. Hide from it I guess. They never get to do things like they used to again because it scares them. When you jumped off the rock you, metaphorically speaking, threw yourself back into life. I wanted you to experience that feeling again. I’m proud of you Izzy. I’m just sorry that my idiotic brother had to ruin it for you."
"It’s okay."
"No its not Izzy. He should have known better and believe me I am going to have a serious conversation with him." I could see the protection he had for me in his eyes and it made me feel better. I have never have someone try to protect me before and I liked it.
"I should probably get dressed. I’m getting chills." I said gesturing to our soaked clothes.
"Your right. I’ll see you soon okay."
"Okay." I gave him a small smile and headed into the shower. I heard the bedroom door shut behind me so I quickly turned and locked it then went into the shower. I turned it on and stepped in after I undressed. The water felt so nice against my skin. After I washed I got out, secured the towel tightly around me and walked into my closet. I decided on a dark purple spaghetti top and fade blue jeans.
I walked down the stairs and headed to the dining room for breakfast. It was only six thirty. I was about to turn into the dining room when I heard voices.

"What the hell were you thinking Mark?!" Jeremiah yelled.
"I don’t know Jeremiah."
"That’s not good enough. Do you have any idea what that girl had been through? She even tells you what happened but you go and try and make a move on her anyway."
"I didn’t kiss her."
"Seriously Mark?"
"I’m sorry okay. It’s just when I saw her smile. Her whole face was glowing and I didn’t think. I’m sorry."
"First of all you will never let it happen again, do you understand me?"
"Yes."
"And second of all you will go and apologize to her."
"I’ll go right now."

I quickly ran to the stairs and pretended I was coming down now. I saw Mark walk towards me.

"Isabell. I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Will you forgive me please? It will never happen again I promise." I have to admit that my heart dropped a little at that last sentence. I wasn’t ready for someone else to like me or me to like him but maybe someday…
"It’s okay Mark, really."
"No its not. I…I just wasn’t thinking and you were there well looking beautiful and I just-" I blushed but decided to cut him off.
"Its okay. Apology accepted."
"Okay. Well I’m going to go have a shower. I will see you soon."
"Sure."
I saw him blush a deep red then disappear up the stairs. I walked into the dining room and saw Jeremiah was already there sitting down.
"Hey." I said.
"I knew you were there by the way."
"What?" I said getting a little fidgety.
"Listening to what I just said to Mark. You were standing around the corner."
"How do you know?"
"I’m good that way."

He then grabbed a piece of toast from the table that was now filled with food. Ten minutes later my grandparents, my mother and Mark walked in.

"Good morning Isabell. Its nice to see you up so early." My grandmother said.
"Good morning Grandma, Grandpa." I saw a huge smile spread across my grandparents faces.
"Morning baby." My mother said. She kissed my forehead but I moved it.
"Morning." I mumbled. She was going to be in for it after breakfast. I looked at her face and she had hurt written all over it. Good I thought. She deserved it.
"So I heard you all come back in this morning. Where did you go?"
"Oh we went to the waterfall." Mark said.
"Oh. What did you do there." I could see Mark was about to say something.
"Ow." He mumbled instead. I guess Jeremiah kicked him.
"We went for a swim. It was quite nice." Jeremiah said. He looked over at me and I raised my eyebrows. He shrugged.
"Oh that’s nice. Well I was going to go shopping in town today would any of you like to come. Isabell?"
"I would love to."
"Yeah me to." Jeremiah said.
"I will to if you don’t mind." Mark said.
"Not at all. What about you Meg dear?" (my mother’s name)
"Oh. That would be good."
"Great. Well I’ll be leaving at twelve so I will meet you all on the patio?"
"Sounds excellent." Jeremiah said. Mark nodded.
"May I be excused Grandma?"
"Sure Isabell." I got up slowly and walked started to walk to my room. I was half way up the stairs when I felt a hand on my back.
"Isabell. What is going on with you?" My mother said. I turned around to face her.
"Why don’t you tell me mum."
"What?"
"Why don’t you tell me how you have kept my grandparents away from me for the twelve years?" She froze.
"Baby I-"
"You what mum? Wanted to get them back for kicking you out?"
"No sweetie I just…just let me explain please."
"Fine."
We walked up to my room and I shut the door. She took a deep breath.
"What you have to understand is that I was seventeen. I had no house, job, food and a two year old and it was all their fault. When they contacted me I was barely living in a house and I knew that I should have just come back to them but I was stubborn and well…they hurt me baby. They kicked me out because they didn’t think that I should have you. My precious baby girl. I wanted them to hurt for what they did. I told them to stay out of my life and out of yours and in return I would send pictures and videos of you. After a while I never got any calls or letters…nothing so I just assumed that they either stopped caring or were happy enough with what I was giving them. If I knew then what I knew now you would have met them a long time ago."
"Why did you lie about the phone call then? Why did you say that they didn’t want me to come?"
"Because I thought that if you thought they were bad people you would still…want me. I thought that once you saw their house and what they could offer you would want to live with them. Baby I’m so sorry."
I ran over and hugged her tightly.
"I’m so sorry mum. I didn’t know."

I could feel her tears seeping into my shirt. We stayed like that for a while until I heard a knock on the door. I turned to see that it was Jeremiah.

"Hey I’m sorry to interrupt but your grandmother sent me to tell you that we are actually leaving at eleven so you guys have an hour to get ready." He walked out.

"Lets get ready shall we?"