The Dark or The Light? (Chapter 2)

Chapter 2.

It has been exactly two months since that night. His last words, last kiss, his eyes filled with so much sadness, it all kept on replaying over and over again in my head. The worst part about it though was that I realized it was all going to be the last of anything. I was never going to see him again and with that thought made my body started to tremble. I pulled my knees to my chest and tried to cover the tears that were now spilling from my eyes.

"Sweetie I know you don’t want to do this. I know, but you need to get help. You can’t keep feeling this way because soon you won’t be able to get back up and I need my little girl back." My mother said. I could see the sadness in her eyes but I just didn’t care.
"How long until we get there?" I asked changing the subject. We have been driving for the past eight hours and I needed to get away. My mother frowned.
"Around an hour."

She turned her attention back on the road and I directed mine to the side window. I knew that the help she was referring to was a therapist but I just didn’t want to fight with her about it. I did not under any circumstances wanted to go but I didn’t have the strength to fight with her.
We reached the town about thirty minutes later. I was a medium sized town that was drowning in people with Gucci and Valentino suits. There were women that just screamed desperate housewives or better gold diggers. The shops weren’t your regular stores like any normal town, Oh No! Heaven forbid they have normal things. There were endless designer stores and French restaurants. I felt like I was going to puke. I can’t believe she is making me spend the next few months of my life here.
Oh did I forget to mention that my grandfather is like billionaire rich? Oh yeah! I’m not kidding. He basically owns this town as well as many others. He owns many corporate companies that deal with something or other. I can’t really remember, my mother doesn’t really like to talk about them and she only gave me a brief description. She also happened to fill me in on how she got us to stay here. Apparently she had called up her dad and told him about the incident and me of course. Their conversation consisted of yelling back and forth but after she yelled at him that he owed her for what he had done to us, he agreed to let us stay.
We ended up on a road that was at least a mile long and surrounded by forest. We eventually got to a large black gate that let us in automatically. We travelled down another long road for about ten minutes until we reached the house, or should I say mansion.
It was a large white mansion with thick pillars that stood out the front. It stretched on for what seemed like forever. There seemed to be at least four floors and endless windows. There was a big round about with a waterfall out the front that went nicely with the house. I looked towards the doors to see my two…ah….grandparents waiting for us. When we got out of the car they greeted us.

"It’s nice to see you again Isabell." The man said. Whose name I should mention is Richard Olane. My grandmother’s name is Mayfield Olane.
"You to Mr. Olane." You didn’t’ have to be smart to tell that my voice was monotone. I didn’t care. I just wanted to go and sleep.
"Well you both must be tired. I’ll get Mr. Bradly to take you things up stairs. You should rest." She red my mind.
"Your right." My mother said.
"Okay well Mr. Bradly will show Isabell to her room." Mayfield said. They were all looking at me waiting for me to say something but I just nodded my head.

Mr Bradley took me inside and I almost gasped. If I thought the outside was beautiful it was nothing compared to the inside. It looked like something out of a sixteenth century movie like Pride and Prejudice. There were chandlers everywhere and paintings. The paintings were beautiful.
I followed Mr. Bradly up three flights of stairs, then down a long hallway. He opened the door to my room. I looked inside and my eyes widened. The room was painted a dark blue. It had two windows that was almost the size of the whole wall. It had two glass doors that opened up to the balcony. You could see the tops of the trees from it. There was a large bed, bigger than king-size, right in the middle of the room. It also had a massive chest at the end of it with a plasma screen TV coming out of it. There was a walk in wardrobe and a bathroom to the right of the bed as well. Out of all this though there was one part that grabbed my attention the most. The bed. I turned towards Mr. Bradly.

"Thank you." I said. Not really trying to detect my sadness.
"You’re welcome Ms. Olane. Please try and get better." And with that he turned and left. I was a little shocked. Did everyone have to know about this? Well that’s going to be something I can pick at, with my grandparents.

I shut the door then locked it. I took off my jacket, grabbed Lucus’s ipod and climbed into bed. I turned it on and suddenly the pictures came up. I didn’t want to see him yet. I didn’t want to look at the pictures but I also couldn’t stop myself. I scrolled through them. They were basically him and me. When were little, when were ten through to just recently. I scrolled through the pictures that we had just taken and I noticed how sad he looked. It was just a normal sad where you could tell by looking at someone’s face. This one was different. You had to look at his eyes and you could just tell. WHY HADN’T I NOTICED IT BEFORE? I felt like screaming. I immediately started to cry. I turned it off and threw it at the end of my bed. I lay there letting the tears fall until I finally drifted off to sleep.
Next thing I know my mother is waking me up.

"What?" I moaned.
"Baby you have to get up now. It’s dinner time and you have been sleep in for four hours." She whispered.
"I’m not hungry."
"Izzy you have to eat something. You haven’t eaten anything in the past two months."
"Mum I said I’m not hungry. Please just leave me to sleep."
"Please sweetie. Please come and get something to eat."

I didn’t have to look at her to hear the sadness in her voice. I slowly got out of bed. I didn’t even bother getting dressed. My mother put her arm around my waist. I pulled out of her embrace. I couldn’t take any more pity. We walked down all the stairs and hallways until we reached a massive dining room. It had a huge chandler that hung down from the ceiling to the middle of the long table with chairs all around it. There were tons of food that stretched across the whole table. That wasn’t what stood out though. I noticed two men sitting on the opposite side of where we were walking.

The first one had jet-black hair and the brightest green eyes I have ever seen. His face was nothing I had ever seen before. It was like its was made personally. But his face also looked young. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was my age.
The second guy was the complete opposite. He had a rugged look. His hair was a messy brown, and it looked like he hadn’t shaved in a while. He had bright green eyes as well. He was wearing a t-shirt that said: GO GREEN. He was wearing khaki shorts as well. In other words he looked like a 25-year-old hippy. The odd part about both of the men was that they looked exactly like each other. Their heads shot up when we walked in. The first guy looks me up and down. He then gives me a look that’s like: oh-my-god. Then he dismisses me. The second guy however smiled at me. If I wasn’t in the position I was now I would have smiled back.

"I’m glad you could join us for dinner Isabell. We would have missed you otherwise." Richard said. I nodded my head.
"This is Mark Parkinson," he said gesturing towards the black haired guy," and this is Jeremiah Parkinson." He gestured towards the brown haired guy.
"It so nice to meet you Isabell." Jeremiah said. I nodded my head. Jeremiah nudged the boy.
"Yeah, it’s nice to meet you." Mark said without even looking at me. There was an uncomfortable silence after my mother and I sat down.
"Well. Let’s start eating shall we." My grandfather said.
My mother started to pick food of different plates and putting it on mine.
"Mum stop." I said after a while.
"Wow she talks." I heard Mark mumble, sarcastically. I saw Jeremiah nudge him.
I still wasn’t hungry so I just started playing with my food. I was pushing food from side to side. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mark lean into Jeremiah.
"What is she a wack job?" I heard him whisper. That just unleashed a beast.
"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" I screamed at him. He looked stunned that I had caught him so I kept on going. "YOU KNOW JUST A LITTLE TIP IF YOU WANT TO CALL SOMEONE A WACK JOB THEN DO IT A LITTLE QUIETER!"
"Isabell please sit down and finish you food." My mother said.
"NO! I DON’T WANT TO EAT BECAUSE I’M NOT HUNGRY! I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE! I DON’T NEED YOUR PITY AND I ESPECIALLY DON’T NEED YOUR HELP SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"I screamed at all of them.

I turned and ran out of there. I ran straight to my bedroom and slammed the door. I went straight out of the doors and outside. The air was a little cold but I didn’t mind it. I sat on the corner of the balcony and looked up to the sky. I was expecting for my mum to come out and see if I was okay but when I looked up I got a surprise. It was Jeremiah.

"Hey." He said. I just turned and looked back to the sky. "Its okay if you don’t want to talk. I will." He came and sat down next to me.
"My name is Jeremiah Burt Parkinson. I am 27-years old. I’m not married or have kids but I do want some one-day. I love to travel all over the world and I guessed you have figured out that I am sort of hippy. I am very much a green person. Mark is my younger brother. He is eighteen. Oh and I’m also a therapist." He looked at me waiting for me to say something.
"Your middle name’s Burt?" Well at least I said something. He chuckled.
"Yep. My father’s name." He paused. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Okay then." He said looking at the stars.
"What? No questions or how do you feel about that?" He chuckled again.
"No. If you don’t want to talk I’m not going to force you. I’ll be here though when you’re ready." We sat there in silence and somehow a part of me wanted to tell him about it. It was yearning to.
"I couldn’t see it. That he was suicidal." He turned and looked at me, "I…couldn’t see it and its been killing me."
"It wasn’t your job to see it. You can’t blame that on yourself."
"I know. I know that it wasn’t my fault but I just can’t…"
"Believe it." He said finishing my sentence.
"Yeah." Tears started to fall. I pulled my knees to my chest. Those four words felt like it had just lifted the weight on my chest just a little. I didn’t want to say anymore and I think he knew because he didn’t say anything else. Instead we just sat there in silence. We didn’t know how long for but I suddenly felt hungry for the first time in two months. I mean I did eat every so often but I just didn’t want to.
"I think…I’m hungry." I said turning to Jeremiah.
"Okay. Lets go get you some food." He got up and gave me his hand. I grabbed it and he pulled me up. We walked out of my room and down a few flights of stairs, down a hallway,(it’s like a maze in this house. I could seriously get lost and not be able to find my way out,) until we finally reached the kitchen. It was pretty big, like everything else in this place and looked like a kitchen out of a restaurant. There were stoves everywhere and fridges.
"What do you feel like?" he asked while rummaging through the fridge.
"What can you cook?"
"Hm…let’s see, well I can cook mac’n’cheese but I doubt they have that here." I smiled for the first time in two months. It was a huge grin. It was small but it meant a lot to me. I couldn’t believe that this guy. Someone I hadn’t heard of or spoke to ever could make me smile or even talk. He looked up at me and saw me smiling before it faded away.
"You’re good." I said referring to him being a therapist.
"I try." He turned back towards the fridge. "Well there isn’t anything in here that I could cook . Ah HA!" He yelled. He pulled something out of the fridge that I wasn’t sure of but looked brown-ish. "On the menu tonight madam is a lovely peanut butter sandwich." He said in an attempt at a French accent.
"That was terrible." I said with a tiny smile. He chuckled.
"Thanks." He eventually found some bread and butter. He made me quite a large peanut butter sandwich that I only ate half of. When I put it down I was expecting him to give me a look like my mum always did or tell me to eat some more.
"Aren’t you going to tell me to finish it or eat some more or whatever?"
"No. If you don’t want to eat it you don’t have to. My first rule Isabell is that I don’t force my patients to do anything that they don’t want to do. I can’t force you to eat if you don’t want to and I can’t force you to talk if you don’t want to. People get better by choosing to, not because they’re forced to."
I was beginning to like this guy more. It felt like he understood me and I liked that. Then suddenly there was a crash. Our heads shot up to see Mark standing by the pots and pans that are on the ground.
"Mark? What are you doing?" Jeremiah asked.
"I couldn’t sleep and I heard voices. I didn’t mean to interrupt." I wonder if he knew?
"Its okay." I said. I couldn’t believe I was talking but here we are. "I should be getting to bed anyway." I jumped down from the counter. "Thank you for tonight." I said to Jeremiah.
"Its okay. I will see you tomorrow." I nodded at him. I walked towards the door and passed Mark. I was halfway down the hallway when I felt a hand grab my arm. I turned around to see Mark.
"Look about tonight, at dinner. I’m really sorry. I judged you before I even knew you. I just thought…anyway I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?"
"Did they tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"About me. Why I’m here?"
"Oh...ah...no. All I know is that your grandparents hired my brother to help you."
"Oh…well apology accepted and I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’ve been doing that a lot lately."
"It’s okay. No harm, no foul."
"Goodnight Mark."
"Goodnight Isabell." I turned quickly and made my way to my room.

I was trying to get to sleep but Mark kept on jumping into my head as well as a bunch of other questions. Did he really not know? Should I tell him? What would he say if I told him? And the bigger question. WHY DO I CARE? There was something different about him. Something that reminded me of Lucus but at the same time they were completely different. I decided to get up and look around the mansion. I couldn’t really see anything because it was like pitch black and the lights were dim. I walked down different hallways and up stairs. All around until I hit something soft. We both crumbled to the ground. I immediately saw Mark.

"Oh, hey. Sorry about that." Mark said helping me up.
"It was me as well." It started to get a little uncomfortable. "so couldn’t sleep?"
"Nah. You?"
"No." I was a bit hesitant with this question but since everyone else new. "Do you want to know why I need your brother?"
"I…ah…well…only if you want to tell me" He stammered. I took in a deep breath.
"Do you want to go outside?"
"Sure." I headed towards the door. I opened it slowly. When we walked out to the patio and I looked up at the sky. It was a faded blue meaning that it was almost sunrise. I sat down on the step and Mark followed suit.
"Two months ago…my friend died. He was the love of my life and I…I found him…dead. He’d," I took a deep breath, "killed himself."
"Oh my god. Isabell. I’m so sorry." I felt the tears run down my face.
"I don’t eat, before this day I hadn’t even walked out of my house. I don’t even talk to anyone anymore. "
"But you’re talking to me."
"I know and it’s freaking me out because I don’t know why. I just suddenly had an urge to tell you. I’m sorry if this is to much or you didn’t want to know but I just thought that you should know why your brother is helping me." He nodded his head.
"Well I should probably get back to bed. Are you coming?"
"No. I think I might just stay here for a bit."
"Okay." He got up but turned to me. "Thank you for telling me." This time I nodded my head. He walked inside.

I sat there watching the sky change color and listening to the birds sing. Before this would have been beautiful to me. Before I wouldn’t have pictured a more perfect place, but this is now. And now it doesn’t seem beautiful to me. This scares me and I just really hope that Jeremiah can bring the really me back because I know that I can’t feel this way anymore. I need to feel something other than sadness or numbness. I have faith that he will though, I mean I knew him only an hour or two and he got me to smile. Maybe there is hope for me. Maybe I will be able to be consumed by light instead of darkness. I guess only time will tell.