The Bad Guys Are Winning - And I'm Scared

This may start out weird, but stay with me. For the past few years I’ve been playing simple video games on my computer. Nothing sophisticated, you understand: not the type of games that require strategy or role playing. Just straightforward shoot-em-ups. You know, where you try to bring down as many bad guys as you can, before they get you.

No, I am not regressing into second childhood – although some well meaning friends have warned me I’m getting there. I don’t play the games because I am a bloodthirsty s.o.b, but for a mundane reason. I’ve been using the games as a gauge to test my reflexes and my hand-eye coordination. Over the past year, I’ve observed that the bad guys are winning with increasing frequency; and it’s got me really worried.

I am aware of the conventional wisdom that says your reflexes slow down as you get older, but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon (I’m 63). My current scores are about half what they were when I started out; and I’m beginning to wonder if I’m losing it. It may explain why I’ve been afraid to drive a car for some years now; and why women shudder in horror if I ask them to dance – although I think the latter is mainly genetic.

One reason I continue to write articles which not many people read – apart from the sheer pleasure it gives me – is to keep my mind active and sharp. I am absolutely terrified of getting Alzheimer’s. My father was in the first stages of it when God, mercifully, took him away. I’m vain enough to believe my writing is pretty coherent – even good in parts – so perhaps I shouldn’t be too worried for now. However, a friend whose intelligence I respect greatly told me my articles lack focus; so I can’t help wondering if that’s a warning signal. Still, I’m reasonably confident I’m in good shape in that department.

The hand-eye coordination is another matter. I am probably paranoid, but fleeting forebodings of Parkinson’s come unbidden to my mind; and I break out in a cold sweat. I keep telling myself that I’m delusional. It’s just a silly game. And everyone gets old. Still, I would feel so much better if I start winning again. I do eat a lot of fish – and almonds – but it doesn’t seem to help.