The Automated Switchboard

Please enter the extension number of the person you wish to reach
Please select from one of these three options
Please press 9 to continue in Spanish
Please press or say

Get me a human, please
This audio maze is crazy
I forgot why I called
So maybe you lost the sale
I don’t remember, it’s all hazy

That is not a valid option
Press the star key to return to the main menu
Please select from one of the following four options
I do not understand that command
Goodbye

Get a human on the phone, please
So I can have a conversation
About the service or product you provide
Give me an answer, please, to my question

That is not a valid choice
Please press the star key to return to the main menu
Please enter your 10-digit account number
Press one to continue in English

Finally
A human comes to the phone
Please give me your 10-digit account number
For security purposes
What is your mailing address
What are the two phone numbers you provided
What is your mother’s maiden name
What are the last four digits of your social security number

Now, how may I help you
(Silence)
I don’t remember why I called
It was so long ago
Maybe it was to buy your service or product
I just don’t recall