The Art of Naming

On my way to an office destination riding on my faithful scooter (which I love to drive more than any car). I had an interesting companion riding behind me, a clear 90 kg. Dr. Vasant Shetty. We had a common agenda of obtaining due certifications from our respective offices to prove that we had indeed faithfully been robbed of a small amount from our salary every month as professional tax and been deposited in the governemnt coffer. This journey was needed on a weekend afternoon as time was running by to approach the tax authority who recently slapped a love letter on every practicing living (and no doubt struggling ) doctor all over the state to deposit their tax dues within a given time. Shetty is an amazing company, he would have all interesting stories on any subject you mention.

On the way, I noticed a display-board on a shop mentioning the name of the shop owner some 'Yasin Kabadiwala' (scrap-dealer). I provoked him asking how many "'WALA-s" he had come across in Mumbai? Pat came his reply - Pagdiwala, Palkiwala, Daruwala, Paperwala, Ghorawala, Bakdawala, Botliwala and so many more....

He shot at brief intervals (I need not recollect those here), of which, most of them I also had heard before. I wanted more and some exclusive ones. Being so provoked, he said, "Perhaps very few people would hear such a name... "Soda-Bottle-Openerwala." Here I had to agree this was unheard of even after my stay in Mumbai for long 24 years. So I said, "You win and I concede my defeat." To this he said, "Now you 'Scooterwala', concentrate on your driving, the road is really bad here." My reply went, "As you say, Mr. Pillion-Rider-wala!"

We Indians love to invent names.... westerners spend more time in inventing new tools for prosperity and comfort. Hence, Tom, Dick and Harry (which are all phony names and carry no meaning neither characterize a person in any way) are enough to serve their purpose. They seem not to feel it important enough to 'waste' their time in deliberating into the art of naming which needs time, patience, imaginations, arguments (even fights), discussions and so many other efforts. There was a time when Russians used to name so many babies as Indira after Indira Gandhi, the slain-ed politician - PM (if I am not wrong Nehru's daughter was named so, by Tagore... Indira Priyadarshini in full form ) or Priyanka, but that was it, it was merely copying names, not inventions.

The fact is different here in India. Here giving name to the new arrival in the family is taken very seriously. Even the "Naming Ceremony" is fancifully observed by many communities. Even a poor man would love to name his child as 'Raja' or 'Samrat' meaning the king/emperor.

East Indians, particularly Bengalee-s have taken the art of naming up to a further height.... Apart from a real name (which is uttered with surname or title), the official one, there has to be at least a pet name for every baby, and more often than not, there are multiple such pet names loaded upon the child all at a time.

And sadly enough, these pet names have to be deliberately humiliating/funny/odd or simply worst of their kinds (and can be so horrible so as to provoke disgust in the mind of its beholder), don't know why!

Who wants to be called openly as 'Panchu/Penchi (meaning owl-faced girl)/Naad'o'n / Kelo (means very dark) and various other humiliating names? Such names are good enough to ruin the prospect of acquiring a girlfriend when time comes.... Perhaps it had happened to me also! What a loss! I am known as 'Buro' (means an old man) right from my birth, and at this age of 55 plus, I still try to rebel against this 'injustice' by calling myself young in every respect.

I am living with this, though uncompromisingly. As the person responsible for this in-appropriate pet - call I have been shouldering throughout, ... whoever it was ... had done it as a token of love and I can never question his/her affection for me ever in my lifetime! Nonetheless, as for so many others, my real name has been over-shadowed by my pet name, thanks to my family/close relatives and friends.