The Aristocrats
Just read....
A man walks into a talent agent’s office and tells the agent: "I have the greatest act for you to sign!"
The Agent sighs, "Well what is it?"
"A Family act!" replies the man with a glittering smile.
"No! I don’t do family acts anymore! They’re all washed up. No one cares, there’s nothing new to ‘em!"
The man sits down in front of the agent and says, "Trust me. You’ll love this act…"
"It all starts with me, my wife, my 4 little kids, and my little baby. First we come onto the stage and take off all of our clothes while my two sons play trombones with their farts to the tune of "The Bells of Saint Mary’s".
"My daughter pulls down my wife’s dress revealing a plethora of warts and boils on her ass and back. She bites the biggest one, so puss starts to fly out spraying the front two rows. My other daughter starts to ‘lube’ her fist with the puss and starts fisting my wife while she sings the "Star Spangled Banner".
"I take my other daughter and rip her skirt off, taking some pubic hair too causing some blood to trickle down her leg. I take the pubs make a Hitler mustache with them and start marching around the stage.
"My son starts sucking on his sister’s nipples until they are 6 inches long. My daughter then proceeds to play the xylophone with them.
"I start sucking my wife’s cunt until I feel it throbbing, then bite it off and throw it to the window. (It sticks!)
"Just then we bring two animals out to the stage. A horse and a sewer rat. The horse shits out 4 tap dancing midgets who get slaughtered by my sledgehammer.
"My daughter takes a huge dump on the stage and uses it to lube up the large sewer rat that is shoved up my wife’s bleeding cunt. To make sure the rat doesn’t come out, we plug her cunt with the baby’s head.
"The grand finale: I get 42 Chinese fire works and stuff them into both of my daughters’ vaginal canals and light them on fire. My wife vomits the sewer rat, that died inside her, and we all (except my daughters) start putting the blood, vomit, piss, cum, shit, and sweat into our mouths and proceed to make out for an uncomfortably long period of time. The fire works go off and I give my wife a kiss on the forehead. Then we bow…"
The Agent who is flabbergasted by this description says, "Wow. What do you call this ‘interesting act’?’’
The father gets out of his chair, throws his hands in the air and says:
"The Aristocrats"
The Agent sighs, "Well what is it?"
"A Family act!" replies the man with a glittering smile.
"No! I don’t do family acts anymore! They’re all washed up. No one cares, there’s nothing new to ‘em!"
The man sits down in front of the agent and says, "Trust me. You’ll love this act…"
"It all starts with me, my wife, my 4 little kids, and my little baby. First we come onto the stage and take off all of our clothes while my two sons play trombones with their farts to the tune of "The Bells of Saint Mary’s".
"My daughter pulls down my wife’s dress revealing a plethora of warts and boils on her ass and back. She bites the biggest one, so puss starts to fly out spraying the front two rows. My other daughter starts to ‘lube’ her fist with the puss and starts fisting my wife while she sings the "Star Spangled Banner".
"I take my other daughter and rip her skirt off, taking some pubic hair too causing some blood to trickle down her leg. I take the pubs make a Hitler mustache with them and start marching around the stage.
"My son starts sucking on his sister’s nipples until they are 6 inches long. My daughter then proceeds to play the xylophone with them.
"I start sucking my wife’s cunt until I feel it throbbing, then bite it off and throw it to the window. (It sticks!)
"Just then we bring two animals out to the stage. A horse and a sewer rat. The horse shits out 4 tap dancing midgets who get slaughtered by my sledgehammer.
"My daughter takes a huge dump on the stage and uses it to lube up the large sewer rat that is shoved up my wife’s bleeding cunt. To make sure the rat doesn’t come out, we plug her cunt with the baby’s head.
"The grand finale: I get 42 Chinese fire works and stuff them into both of my daughters’ vaginal canals and light them on fire. My wife vomits the sewer rat, that died inside her, and we all (except my daughters) start putting the blood, vomit, piss, cum, shit, and sweat into our mouths and proceed to make out for an uncomfortably long period of time. The fire works go off and I give my wife a kiss on the forehead. Then we bow…"
The Agent who is flabbergasted by this description says, "Wow. What do you call this ‘interesting act’?’’
The father gets out of his chair, throws his hands in the air and says:
"The Aristocrats"
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