The Aftermath of Love

I grew up fearing for my life. I would wake to my parents screaming at each other and I would fall asleep to my parents yelling abuse at each other. I would often hear priceless family heirlooms thrown across the room and hearing it shutter across a wall that would make the whole house tremble as it broke into pieces. Then I would my hear my mother’s graceful feet pacing the room and slamming the bedroom door after a few minutes if the house was quiet enough I would hear a faint sobbing noise coming from the bedroom. In winter this sound would normally rock me to sleep along with the whistle of the wind from the trees outside that would dance outside my bedroom window. After my mother locked herself in the bedroom sometimes my father would come into my bedroom that I shared with my three sisters. I would try to hide myself under my bed or blankets so my father wouldn’t find me or most days I would jump out of my bedroom window and run all the way to the Kuia’s house, Where everyone was welcome expect my father. When my father did visit me and my sisters bedroom he always smelt like cigarettes and old stale alcohol. I always wondered if he ever brushed his teeth. Every time he would smile at me or my sisters you could see his last meal stuck between the gaps between of his teeth and his breathe always stank. Most days my father would take one of my sisters out of the room with him but this time he looked at me, smiled and grabbed my arm. Before I realized what he had done I felt him dragging me towards the door. I didn’t know what was going to happen I was frightened I looked at him then at my sisters whose faces were white as if they had seen a ghost. With my free arm I tried to hit him but he was too strong for me my father taller than any other guy at the local pub and was just slighter shorter than the biggest guy I ever saw . Everyone was afraid of my father because everyone knew that he was a violent man especially after he had too much to drink. I could see his strong muscles through the rolled up sleeves of his checkered worker shirt.

"Wait" yelp my sister.

Then my father stopped for a moment and turned around to my sister who yelled. I could tell me and my sisters where thinking the same thing because there was just silence between my father, me and my other sisters. Without warning he threw me on the floor and he walked towards my two sisters that were on the bed clinging to each other as if the world was to fall apart right then in the bedroom.

"Take me instead" pleaded my sister Mereana.

I could see she was shaking as she was talking even though my sister Pare was holding her firm on the bed. Mereana’s bottom lip wouldn’t keep still as she looked at me with pure compassion and tears were streaming down her beautiful brown face, I noticed she didn’t make any noise as she cried. She then looked into my father’s eyes all I saw was true hatred. I was still in the corner and could see behind my father and saw his cheeks rise and I wondered if he was smiling at my sister.

"Okay then" is all the words he said

My two sisters Pare and Mereana let go of each other. My sister Mereana got up out of the bed and as passed me I started crying and ran over to her. My left check felt hot and my head was pounding as if someone just hit my head with a hummer. I knew it was bruised from my father throwing me on the floor. I wrapped my arms around my sister and she did the same then we cried in each other’s arms just for a short moment not to long as we knew my father would get inpatient.

I felt my father’s eyes on me as my sister and I hugged. Then he yanked my sisters long black elegant hair which broke her hair tie that was holding my sisters hair in place we watched it float down to the ground. He just smiled at me with his stained un-brushed teeth.

"Your next" is what he said and he and my sister were gone and the bedroom door now closed.

Before I took another breath or made a noise my sister Pare was holding me in her arms as if she were my mother and if I were her child. I burst into tears once again.

"Hush baby, Hush. You are alright now" As Pare rocked me in her arms.

"Pare, Pare Where is papa taking Mereana?" I sobbed to Pare in Maori while trying to catch my breath.

"Hush Lily, You know papa doesn’t like the dreadful language. Please address my name as Polly not Pare. I hate that name" replied my sister Pare.

"When since did you not like the name Pare? See this is what Kuia said this would happen, she said you are turning out like a Pakeha. My names not lily either. Kuia said my names Makareta just her name and her mama’s name too" I yelled angrily back at my sister.

"Come now it’s okay, We have to go I start work soon and we cannot leave you here by yourself, That granny of yours will have my head if I leave you alone with that pig here." Pare said.

That was the first time I ever heard my sister Pare ever use a foul language towards our father.