Tennis and Dating Lessons

I did not begin playing tennis until the tender age of 36 and a half when my best friend forced me to join her mixed doubles team. Because I was pretty athletic in high school and college, I thought it would be a fairly easy sport to pick up. After all, I ran varsity track, played varsity volleyball, won 4 years in a row in my intramural volleyball team in college, always won at badminton and even organized and captained a co-ed volleyball team for three seasons at my job. Yikes. Wrong. My first mistake was buying a twenty dollar tennis racket at a discount super store. My second was assuming I'd do well from the beginning.

During one of my first matches, I dove for a ball (forgetting that tennis is not necessarily considered a contact sport) and fell, flipping over and bloodying both of my knees. I lost that match badly. I have run into fences, crashed into poles, been hit over and over again by playing too close to the net and once, almost flipped over the net completely, boomeranging back and was just about flung into a complete back somersault. My best friend said I looked like a cartoon. But I kept playing. I am addicted to tennis and play year round. I'd rather my kids see me lose a 3-hour match than sit on the couch for 3 hours, complaining and eating potato chips.

I'm not the perfect picture of health. Often, I walk onto the court smoking a cigarette and drinking a Mountain Dew. Actually, that sometimes works to my advantage, because I am underestimated. So what lessons have I learned about myself by playing tennis? One is the sheer exhilaration of competition. It's really difficult to feel depressed during a tiebreaker. It's virtually impossible to dwell on bills or stress at work when you're slamming a flat serve beautifully over the net. And just try to feel sorry for yourself when you've hit a clean shot right down someone's ally. My competitive nature that I thought was lost during college has resurfaced, causing me to compete against MYSELF to improve my life and those of my children.

What has tennis taught me about dating? Plenty. The character of a person, I believe, comes out on the court. Mine included. Do I have compassion? I do, but that doesn't mean I have to let people walk on me. Tennis has taught me to see the differences in people. Does someone "stand up for themselves", or are they simply a bully? Manners are important here in the south, but I've learned on and off the courts to tell the difference between someone's true courtesy and someone limply shaking your hand and mumbling, "Good match" just because they have to. When I meet a man on the court, I notice if he's confident without arrogance, I notice someone's humor, their sense of fair play, their hidden anger level and their commitment. Most of the same qualities seen on the court are plainly seen in every day life.

I encourage anyone interested to combine tennis and dating. Are you seeing a new guy? Take him out on the courts and see if he makes fair line calls. You'd be surprised at how important a man's behavior in a match can be and just how much it can reveal, just as your own performance can reveal your true character.

Court Me Tennis
A social tennis league for singles