Temporary Passion Or True Love?
Starting with teenage years, besides physical and psychical changes, we have to face "strange new feelings" for the opposite gender. In time, questions like "Is he/she my real love?" or "Should I marry him/her?" consume our time, energy and all kinds of resources.
How should I know if the relation I have is based on true love or if it is just a temporary passion/infatuation? Too many couples are breaking up because their relationship proved to be only a passing passion and the suffering marks are deep. What's worse - couples married for many years, living under the same roof but acting like strangers, staying together only for their kids' sake or for other abnormal reasons.
If we want to look at things from a Christian perspective, to see our Creator opinion, we have to look in His Word. Paul describes the true love - "agape": "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8.
Inspired from these verses, let's see 10 fundamental truths that help us to identify the real love:
1. True love is not "Eros". Eros is a romantic love, based on physical attraction. Today, this kind of love is extremely promoted in mass-media, and many counselors advise teenagers to have sexual relationships to know if there are compatible as a couple. The Bible is very clear about this subject: Sexual relations were invented by God for the fulfillment of a husband and a wife: "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body." I Corinthians 6: 18-20. So, you don't need sexual relation to know if he/she is the right person.
2. True love can be generated only by a mature person. A mature love is generated by a mature character and, trust me, under 18 for girls and 20 for boys (at least) the character is changing. Marrying an immature person well... has certain ups and especially downs. If you marry a child... don't expect a grown up approach from him/her.
3. True love is interested first in your character, not in your physical look as main attraction factor. If somebody appreciates only your "outside" and is not trying to have a good influence of your "inside", that person has only a temporary passion for you. This kind of love finishes when another better looking person is walking around or when the first wrinkle changes your face.
4. True love needs time to grow. "Love at first sight" can't be a real "agape" love. Yes, you may love her body ("Eros") but knowing the real person takes time, discussions, argues, forgiveness, acts, prayer and the list is open.
5. True love is unselfish. If your boyfriend is oriented only towards himself, he does not love you. A infatuation wants to be fulfilled and it's not interested to fulfill other's needs. True love respects your body, your mind and your soul.
6. True love, loves in any situation; it's not only "good-time" love. A real love grows especially in "bad times". A temporary passion is avoiding any kind of problems while real love is solving the problem or goes on despite the problem
7. True love is trying to maintain the relation. If something doesn't work, real love identifies and fixes the problem. When first exchange of hard words appears, a infatuation is saying: "We are not compatible".
8. True love and a good husband/wife, comes from God. If you want to marry, you have to ask God to sent you the right person "Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD". Did you ask God for a partner? Did you pray for the one who wants to marry you?
9. True love comes from a saved person. When a man is born again from God, he receives Holy Ghost and the capability to love ("agape"), because love is the first fruit of Holy Ghost.
10. True love is based on Bible and prayer. How is your boyfriend/girlfriend? Does he/she like to read the Bible and pray with you? That means to have God in the center of your relation.
We want to have happy families but they are a result of a holy pre-marital relation: "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows". Even if it is against world's way, accept these 10 principles as a lifestyle for your friendship. Take wise decisions, for your own good.
If we want to look at things from a Christian perspective, to see our Creator opinion, we have to look in His Word. Paul describes the true love - "agape": "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8.
Inspired from these verses, let's see 10 fundamental truths that help us to identify the real love:
1. True love is not "Eros". Eros is a romantic love, based on physical attraction. Today, this kind of love is extremely promoted in mass-media, and many counselors advise teenagers to have sexual relationships to know if there are compatible as a couple. The Bible is very clear about this subject: Sexual relations were invented by God for the fulfillment of a husband and a wife: "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body." I Corinthians 6: 18-20. So, you don't need sexual relation to know if he/she is the right person.
2. True love can be generated only by a mature person. A mature love is generated by a mature character and, trust me, under 18 for girls and 20 for boys (at least) the character is changing. Marrying an immature person well... has certain ups and especially downs. If you marry a child... don't expect a grown up approach from him/her.
3. True love is interested first in your character, not in your physical look as main attraction factor. If somebody appreciates only your "outside" and is not trying to have a good influence of your "inside", that person has only a temporary passion for you. This kind of love finishes when another better looking person is walking around or when the first wrinkle changes your face.
4. True love needs time to grow. "Love at first sight" can't be a real "agape" love. Yes, you may love her body ("Eros") but knowing the real person takes time, discussions, argues, forgiveness, acts, prayer and the list is open.
5. True love is unselfish. If your boyfriend is oriented only towards himself, he does not love you. A infatuation wants to be fulfilled and it's not interested to fulfill other's needs. True love respects your body, your mind and your soul.
6. True love, loves in any situation; it's not only "good-time" love. A real love grows especially in "bad times". A temporary passion is avoiding any kind of problems while real love is solving the problem or goes on despite the problem
7. True love is trying to maintain the relation. If something doesn't work, real love identifies and fixes the problem. When first exchange of hard words appears, a infatuation is saying: "We are not compatible".
8. True love and a good husband/wife, comes from God. If you want to marry, you have to ask God to sent you the right person "Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD". Did you ask God for a partner? Did you pray for the one who wants to marry you?
9. True love comes from a saved person. When a man is born again from God, he receives Holy Ghost and the capability to love ("agape"), because love is the first fruit of Holy Ghost.
10. True love is based on Bible and prayer. How is your boyfriend/girlfriend? Does he/she like to read the Bible and pray with you? That means to have God in the center of your relation.
We want to have happy families but they are a result of a holy pre-marital relation: "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows". Even if it is against world's way, accept these 10 principles as a lifestyle for your friendship. Take wise decisions, for your own good.
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