Taking a Step

The telephone is ringing. The dull, monotonous and incessant tone. Tring, tring, tring. Today Ajay is boozing too much. That too, whisky. The bitter golden fluid is burning his gullet. But still, Ajay wants to drown himself more and more in the liquor like an obsession. Or is it a way to self-destruction? He went to the telephone and picked up the receiver. "Hello," he said. The voice at the other end said, "Hi Ajay, this is Hemant. Your school buddy. Ajay couldn't recognize the voice, perplexed he asked, "Who Hemant?" "You bug, you don't remember me! I am your school pal, your classmate," said Hemant. Oh yes, now Ajay recalls. He said, "Of course, Hemant. Sorry, it's almost fifteen years you are calling me since we left school. Tell me what's up?" Hemant said, "Look we school friends have decided to meet up. You and me. I also called up Anshuman, but he is in Canada now. Lucky chap! You know it was so difficult tracing you. You seemed to have no contact with any of us. I remembered your residential address and by your surname searched Roy and looked up the telephone directory. Did a bit of permutation and combination and finally got your landline number. We are meeting next Saturday evening at 'Taste Buds' restaurant. OK?" Ajay sounding unsure said, "Yes its fine. Saturday next 6pm. Hemant said, "That's done. We will talk our hearts out when we meet. Bye now." He hangs up.

Ajay was wondering. His life seems to be in turmoil now. How can he meet Hemant? Hemant must be a complete family man now. Happy with his life. But Ajay's marriage is on the rocks. Nisha, who has been Ajay's girlfriend for five years and later wife, has left him. What shall he tell Hemant if he asks him about his marriage! Ajay pondered, "Why did Nisha leave me?" Was it because Ajay lost his job due to the recession? No, he thinks not. Though Ajay managed to get a job as a school teacher, he is not happy. His salary is much lower than a software job. He teaches computer science. And, teaching is not his cup of tea. Ajay was reluctant to admit the real reason for his separation with Nisha. Though, the separation has not happened on papers yet. Ajay and Nisha did not divorce. They are only living apart. Rohan, their five-year old son is with his mother. Ajay knew well enough that his over addiction to alcohol made Nisha leave him. But he did not have the courage to admit it.

After Ajay lost his job that the trouble between them commenced. He started boozing more and more. Losing his cool. Ajay blamed Nisha solely for their failed marriage. But his conscience pricked him. Little Rohan is suffering. He cannot ignore that. Nisha must be submissive. Apologize. Ajay taking a sip from his wine glass recalls the ugly fights ha had with his wife. "Yes I will drink. It's my house. My money. You are a worthless woman. You have no husband feeling. My drinking is only a convenient excuse for you to leave me." Little Rohan witnessed these feuds between mom and dad. He is too immature now to comprehend the complexities of a man-wife relationship. He kept quiet. And wept out of fear and apprehension. This was their last fight before Nisha left Ajay. He has no contacts with Nisha for a year now. Not even over the phone. They are not on talking terms. But, how desperately Ajay missed Rohan, his kid. "Rohan, my sweet baby. I miss you, muttered Ajay to himself.

Next Saturday Ajay is to meet Hemant. No, he cannot avoid. That would be rude. But if Hemant asks about his wife and family, what shall Ajay say! Or just pretend that everything is smooth sailing. Ajay is confused. Ajay hates revealing his weakness to others. Yes, even to his friends. Ajay may fake an outwardly confident look, but he is a very lonely man for the last one year. He has no one to share his feelings. He is also having a strained relation with his parents. Ajay's parents dislike his boozing and the reckless life he is leading now. Without family. Without his wife and son. Staying alone. Ajay decides to meet Hemant. How does he look now? Is he the same compulsive flirt as he always had been! Ajay will get to see Hemant after such a long time. Fifteen long years. Strange, Ajay felt a little inquisitive how is Hemant's life sailing? Is he happy with his marriage?

Ajay saw Hemant sitting at a corner table at 'Taste Buds.' When Hemant saw Ajay, he said, "Hey, you look so lean. Longtime ha." Ajay sat opposite the chair facing Hemant. Hemant asked, "How are you man? Long time no see! Doing well! Where are you working buddy?" So many questions at one go. Hemant is the same talkative chap. Ajay thought. "I teach computer science in a school. What about you?" asked Ajay. Hemant said that he is a multimedia professional and happily married with two kids. Ajay is now feeling a bit ill at ease. And also jittery. What shall he say about his marriage? Is his worry too evident on his countenance? Ajay suddenly startled at Hemant's voice. "Hey, Ajju, what are you thinking? Why are you looking so worried? Anything wrong?" Ajay said, "No man am just excited to meet you after so many years. Hemant asked, "But you look very worn-down. Is it work pressure? You are married, right. How is your wife? Become a father, yeah!" Ajay was in deep thought again. Should he say? Hemant is his school buddy. But Ajay felt reluctant to disclose. He decided against it. Coming out of his contemplation, Ajay said, "Ya, Am a happily married man and a proud father of my son, Rohan." "That's cool Ajju," said Hemant.

The two friends laughed, gossiped and boozed. How time elapse away. Their old school days. Fifteen years of detachment. And finally, meeting again. But life goes on. It never stops. Hemant said, "You did know that I was such a flirt. Never took girls for a serious relationship. I was always after fun minus the responsibilities. But then, I met Vishakha, my girlfriend and now my wedded wife. She is an amazing woman. She made me realize the importance of real love, getting settled and having a happy family. After a hard day's work, we guys go back to our home, family and spend valuable time with wife and kids. Yes, she made me understand this. This way an everlasting bonding builds with our partners. And Vishakha gave me the two wonderful gifts of my life. My two kids, a son and a little princess like daughter. I am proud to be a husband and father." This rendezvous seemed like a beautiful nostalgia to both the friends. It was quite late. The two friends kept talking. At around 9pm they left. Promising to meet again.

Bach home, lying on the bed, Ajay was smoking. He recalled Hemant's words. Home. Family. Happiness. Wife and kids. Being a father. Yes, Hemant is right. Ajay's thoughts lingered. Nisha and Ajay had differences. Ego clashes. But that can be sorted out across the table, communicating. But not like this, living apart. Both of them are mature. Somehow, Ajay and Nisha can bear the burden of living individually for the rest of their lives. But what about little Rohan? Rohan will have to suffer his whole life due to a broken home. No it is not done. They as parents don't have the right to ruin Rohan's life. Rohan needs papa and mummy, both. Their unconditional love and affection. Ajay thought, "Before it is too late, I have to make amend. Control my boozing. Being responsible is all that it calls for now. Nisha and me shall once again start afresh, and learn to live. And If I hadn't met Hemant today, I would never have realized."

Ajay punched in Nisha's cell number. Yes, it's ringing. After the fourth ring, it was his wife's voice. Ajay said, "Nisha, it's me..."