Taking a Break in a Relationship

All relationships have their ups and downs, and for anyone expecting to be in a constant state of bliss, this is your wake up call. Every couple goes through difficult times and has to grapple with certain issues, but this doesn't mean that you call it quits and give up. If the relationship means enough to you, you'll try to work through these problems. If you and your partner are at loggerheads and just can seem to get any issues put to rest, taking a break in the relationship might help. I've known it to help a number of couples, who have stayed together and even gone on to get married. One point I'd like to make clear; I'm not Freud, and I don't have it all figured out. However, I will help you look at the different facets of taking a break in a relationship, and let you be the judge of whether it might be the answer to your problem.

Benefits

When I refer to taking a break in a relationship, I don't mean two people who separate only to go on a series of dates with other people. A break can only be healthy for a relationship, when it is taken to allow both partners the time to assess the good and the bad of their relationship, as well as allow time for introspection. The 'drama' of a relationship, as well as the proximity to the one you love, can often hinder clarity of thought. A break in the relationship allows you to calm your mind, and by removing yourself from the situation, you can step back and look at it from a (reasonably) unbiased point of view.

In the midst of relationship issues, it is very hard to accept or realize one's own fault. Another benefit of taking a break is that it allows you to introspect, and see the role you have played in creating the problems you now face. No partner is entirely faultless, and accepting that is an important step in working through problems. By not focusing on the eruptions, this time apart may also help you realize the core issues you and your partner have, and thus allow you to successfully address them. Separation also enables you to judge exactly what your partner and the relationship mean to you. Is it a security blanket that keeps away loneliness, or is it a health partnership that encourages personal growth?

How to Deal with It?

The first 'fear' to address and put to rest is that this is not the end of your relationship. Once you've come to terms with that, actually utilize this time fruitfully. If you are not very fond of sorting out your thoughts, then air them out to a confidant. Another important point is to continue with your normal schedule and utilize your free time to spend time with friends and do other fun stuff, so that loneliness does not drive you back into the arms of your partner.

Does It Work?

If you take it seriously and honorably, then yes, taking a break really does work, and that a break does not mean a relationship break up. If in that time, you or your partner are unable to stay faithful to each other, then you shouldn't be together in the first place. Also, if at the end of the break, one of you decides he/she doesn't want to be in the relationship any more, then that too is for the best (though it won't seem like that at the time).

The best outcome of taking a break in relation is for both partners to come back together with a renewed commitment to each other, and better equipped to solve their problems. Instead of being afraid of letting go of your partner, look at a break as an opportunity for growing understanding for each other. If you have a healthy relationship, then you and your partner will pull through, and come out better and stronger than ever.