Taking a Break from Dating

A break from dating can refer to taking a break in a relationship or making a choice to stop dating all together, for a period of time. While the former is a more common scenario, it is the latter that is being dealt with, in this article. It is common for couples, who are dating, to take a break to sort out problems or to assess the depth of their feelings for each and the course of their relationship. There is almost always one person in the relationship who thinks that taking a break is a bad idea while the other is in favor of some time apart.

However, it is important for both to understand that if taken in the right spirit, it is a step that will benefit both partners. Drifting along in the dating boat without an oar, sail or destination spells doom. If this be the case, it is best to spend time taking stock of the situation, and decide whether it is best to stay in or get out.

To Date or Not to Date
We now move on to the controversial idea of taking a complete break from dating. While there are many who will balk at this idea, there are also some who have been through a string of relationships, have broken a few hearts and had their hearts broken, and have ended up disillusioned with the whole dating game. If you are such a person, or someone who does not like the modern dating system, then this article may make sense to you. While the modern dating system works for some, one size does not fit all. Under these circumstances, taking a break can be the best thing to do.

The Dating Game
We have grown up in a world where some of us start to date even before we are able to understand what 'love' really is. The current pattern of dating through ones teenage years has no objective apart from amusing oneself. While on the surface, there seems to be no harm in this, but a deeper look reveals several flaws. We date every person we are attracted to who returns our interest. After a while together, once we find we aren't actually compatible, have lost interest, or our gaze has shifted to another, it's time to move on. In almost every such situation, there is one person left behind bruised and rejected. One reason to take a break from casual dating is to prevent (causing or facing) this kind of damage.

Love
One can reason that 'it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'. However, I'm not in the least bit the enemy of love. All I suggest is that we really look into the nature of what we call 'love'. Love is not going on 10 dates and then never calling the person again. Forging a close bond with someone needs to be done with taking responsibility for that person's well-being. Every time you want to start dating someone, do so with commitment, sincerity and responsibility. If you aren't able to, then don't get involved or lead someone on. I believe that love is these things: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Responsible Dating
This kind of love can be the foundation to help one date purposefully and judiciously. We are accustomed to a more selfish love, where we seek our satisfaction over the good of our partner. By just remembering to keep the best interest of others at the forefront of all we do, we can avoid many dating pitfalls. Avoiding repeated heartbreak is not the only reason for taking a break from dating. There are many other reasons why being in a constant cycle where one person becomes your whole and sole focus is detrimental for you. Dating often isolates a couple. While you focus on and revel in the company of one, you neglect many other vital relationships with family and friends.

'Singleness'
To make 'singleness' work for you, you have to change the way you look at this state of life. 'Singleness' is not a curse, as many would like to think. Instead, it can be a very fruitful time of life, spent doing much that time constraints in a relationship will not allow. One of the tips to take a break from dating is to invest time in personal growth. This refers to spiritual growth, as well as in the avenues of education and work. Build yourself up so you will not look towards another for personal fulfillment. Being in a healthy relationship requires a great deal of responsibility, which is another area you can work on. Enjoy your friendships, and look for ways to serve.

Anytime is a good time when to take a break from dating. Use your time to understand what it is you want, both in the form of a relationship and in a partner. Lastly, know that taking a break from dating is not as hard as it seems. Many have done it, and are better for it.