Swimming Pool Snacks (Part 2)
Just out of spite, I gorge my belly with delicious treats before plummeting into the water... read on...
I sat down on the robe Indian-style, which in hindsight was a mistake considering the tightness of my Speedos. My testicles immediately spilled out of both sides of the small-groined trunks and I heard several gasps around me. I ignored them and stuffed my loose skin and balls back inside as best I could. Then, I dumped out the grocery bag of snacks. I had indeed packed some scrumptious morsels. I gazed upon the pile of foodstuffs with delight. Half a tomato, an full box of cornflakes, a Snickers bar, a Ziploc bag of saltine crackers, a drawstring bag of mung beans, several cloves of garlic, a leftover croissant, a slice of ham, and a can of corn. I gazed at the pool's concession stand with disgust.
"They wouldn't know pool food if it bit them in the penises.", I said aloud as I chomped down on a handful of mung beans and garlic.
This drew several uncomfortable glances from the people around me. I glared back at them and took a bite out of the tomato, juice squirting messily from the tomato and running down my chest.
After finishing off the mung beans, the garlic, the tomato, the saltines, the Snickers, and the ham, I walked towards the pool once again, carrying the box of cornflakes and the croissant with me. This time, I wasted no time in jumping into the cool, clear water. I was no longer concerned with the image I was portraying. After all, I had neglected to bring anything to drink and I had become very thirsty. I resurfaced after jumping in and began gulping down the clear, tasty water thirstily, using my hands to push waves towards my face so as to ingest as much as humanly possible at once. My actions were once again met with gasps all around me and some people even sounded angry and confused. I assumed it was because they wanted me to save some delicious liquid refreshment for them too. I paused my gulping and raised my head from the surface.
"Calm down everyone!" I proclaimed in a powerful voice. "There is plenty of water here for each and every parched belly in attendance! We are practically swimming in it!"
I expected some laughs at my last joking statement, but nobody laughed. In fact, nobody said anything. Not to me anyway. People grumbled and cursed to each other, some of them pointing in my direction. I ignored them and continued to drink.
Soon, I could drink no more and I relaxed against the side of the pool, letting flow with a warm, steady stream of urine, which filled the water around me. The look of relief on my face obviously made some pool goers quite suspicious because accusations began to be viciously thrown in my direction. Confused by the hostility, I continued to fill the water around me with piss until my bladder was as empty as could be.
I was relaxed beyond belief. My day at the pool was turning out to be a complete success. Even though the other people at the pool that day were turning out to be extremely rude and unsocial, I was having the time of my life. I looked towards the sky and let the summer sun warm my face as I slid out of my confining Speedos and tossed them out of the pool in the direction of my bathrobe. Then I let loose with a barrage of flatulence that sent brown bubbles hurtling towards the surface of the water all around me. From the outsider's eye, it would appear that I was in some type of horrible, muddy Jacuzzi. It would also appear that I squeezed a very sizable amount of feces from my submerged rump. The stench confirmed it.
Shrieks and gasps rang out around me, bringing me back to reality. From all around the pool, parents ran towards the water, shouting at their children to get out immediately. I suddenly became confused and terrified.
Perhaps there was some type of danger in the pool and it was coming my way.
Perhaps the beasts from under the surface that my mother had always warned me about, had come to punish and devour me for my gluttonous pre-swimming routine.
Terrified beyond my own wildest dreams, I burst from the water, a shrill scream pouring from my lips, muddy water pouring from my lower body. I stood on the edge of the pool, trembling with fear and gazing down into the water, searching for the beast. I saw nothing.
"Have no fear, my fellow pool goers!" I bellowed, my arms high in the air. "The water is safe!! I can see no cause for alarm!!"
"You shit in the pool, you sick pervert!!" Someone shouted.
I looked down at my legs, which were still dripping with brown, smelly water. In addition, I was also naked and very erect. (Mung beans are a powerful aphrodisiac... to me anyway.)
Embarrassed, I headed for my orange bathrobe, my eyes fixed on the ground in front of me. I could already hear the police sirens in the distance. This would be strike five when it came to indecent exposure charges and strike nine for lewd conduct. At least I wasn't drunk this time.
I smiled wryly and slipped back into my orange bathrobe. I guess my horrible mother was right about swimming after you eat...
"They wouldn't know pool food if it bit them in the penises.", I said aloud as I chomped down on a handful of mung beans and garlic.
This drew several uncomfortable glances from the people around me. I glared back at them and took a bite out of the tomato, juice squirting messily from the tomato and running down my chest.
After finishing off the mung beans, the garlic, the tomato, the saltines, the Snickers, and the ham, I walked towards the pool once again, carrying the box of cornflakes and the croissant with me. This time, I wasted no time in jumping into the cool, clear water. I was no longer concerned with the image I was portraying. After all, I had neglected to bring anything to drink and I had become very thirsty. I resurfaced after jumping in and began gulping down the clear, tasty water thirstily, using my hands to push waves towards my face so as to ingest as much as humanly possible at once. My actions were once again met with gasps all around me and some people even sounded angry and confused. I assumed it was because they wanted me to save some delicious liquid refreshment for them too. I paused my gulping and raised my head from the surface.
"Calm down everyone!" I proclaimed in a powerful voice. "There is plenty of water here for each and every parched belly in attendance! We are practically swimming in it!"
I expected some laughs at my last joking statement, but nobody laughed. In fact, nobody said anything. Not to me anyway. People grumbled and cursed to each other, some of them pointing in my direction. I ignored them and continued to drink.
Soon, I could drink no more and I relaxed against the side of the pool, letting flow with a warm, steady stream of urine, which filled the water around me. The look of relief on my face obviously made some pool goers quite suspicious because accusations began to be viciously thrown in my direction. Confused by the hostility, I continued to fill the water around me with piss until my bladder was as empty as could be.
I was relaxed beyond belief. My day at the pool was turning out to be a complete success. Even though the other people at the pool that day were turning out to be extremely rude and unsocial, I was having the time of my life. I looked towards the sky and let the summer sun warm my face as I slid out of my confining Speedos and tossed them out of the pool in the direction of my bathrobe. Then I let loose with a barrage of flatulence that sent brown bubbles hurtling towards the surface of the water all around me. From the outsider's eye, it would appear that I was in some type of horrible, muddy Jacuzzi. It would also appear that I squeezed a very sizable amount of feces from my submerged rump. The stench confirmed it.
Shrieks and gasps rang out around me, bringing me back to reality. From all around the pool, parents ran towards the water, shouting at their children to get out immediately. I suddenly became confused and terrified.
Perhaps there was some type of danger in the pool and it was coming my way.
Perhaps the beasts from under the surface that my mother had always warned me about, had come to punish and devour me for my gluttonous pre-swimming routine.
Terrified beyond my own wildest dreams, I burst from the water, a shrill scream pouring from my lips, muddy water pouring from my lower body. I stood on the edge of the pool, trembling with fear and gazing down into the water, searching for the beast. I saw nothing.
"Have no fear, my fellow pool goers!" I bellowed, my arms high in the air. "The water is safe!! I can see no cause for alarm!!"
"You shit in the pool, you sick pervert!!" Someone shouted.
I looked down at my legs, which were still dripping with brown, smelly water. In addition, I was also naked and very erect. (Mung beans are a powerful aphrodisiac... to me anyway.)
Embarrassed, I headed for my orange bathrobe, my eyes fixed on the ground in front of me. I could already hear the police sirens in the distance. This would be strike five when it came to indecent exposure charges and strike nine for lewd conduct. At least I wasn't drunk this time.
I smiled wryly and slipped back into my orange bathrobe. I guess my horrible mother was right about swimming after you eat...
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