Surviving a Break Up: 4 Ways to Wreck Your Recovery

When it's right you can sit down and make an almost endless list of all the amazing things when it comes to love but more specifically your relationship. It really does feel like you are walking on air and there is nothing that can bring you back down the earth,

It just gets better and better whenever the two of you are in each other's company. It does not even have to be that you are seeing each other face to face. Texting and instant messaging to the wee hours of the morning makes you fall in love with each other even more.

Then it's over. The relationship ends. The one you loved has found someone new or they just do not want to see you again for whatever reason. You do not know or understand why. No further information is forthcoming because they in effect have cut off all communication.

That is when you experience the other side of love and an all too familiar part of life. You shared so much of and about yourself with this other person that when the breakup came it brought pain like you never thought possible.

It hurts and at this stage you do not know if it will ever stop hurting. Over time the pain will go away but only if you want it to. Some people after a break up say they want the hurt to stop hurting yet do everything they can to wreck their own healing process. They include things like:

1. The Endless What?

What happened, what went wrong, what did you do, what didn't you do, what should you have done and countless other variations. The problem is no relationship is ever going to be spotless so the endless what can easily have you running around in a never ending circle.

2. The Eternal Why?

Just like the what, asking why over and over again can make you crazy. Your ex could tell you point by point why they broke up with you and that inner voice inside of you will still not be satisfied with the answer. As a matter of fact if you are not careful it can get you to asking more why questions.

3. It Is Not Over

You tell yourself they do not mean it. Maybe they just had a bad week or something. So you keep trying to rekindle the relationship with more emailing, phone calls and dropping by their house.

This type of behavior is only going to cause trouble. You are in essence telling them they do not know what they are talking about so it is up you to make things right. Well you are not making things right. You are only making them worse.

If you want to renew the relationship then it is best to give them plenty of space and a reasonable amount of time before attempting to do so. Crowding them and refusing to respect their decision is only going to make them realize that breaking up with you was the right thing to do.

4. It Is All Your Fault

After countless whats and whys, you came to a conclusion. The breakup was all your fault. You cannot put your finger on it but it was obvious something you did; or didn't do.

Stop right there. Relationships take two and unless you were an abusive, philandering jerk then there is no way you can take all the blame for the relationship’s demise. Doing that elevates your ex to a higher level and pushes you further down in the valley. Something neither of you deserve.

The breakup hurts. You gave everything you had to build a strong and lasting relationship and the final answer from your ex was a resounding no. The pain is real but there is something more genuine than that. What is it? That someone you know or have never met wants to be in a relationship with you and they are just as terrific as your ex if not more so.

Article written by Daryl Campbell at The Relationship Tip. Are you a beg your ex addict?