Spirits Chapter 3

HI! this is a picture of Lexie, not a very good one but she has black hair and bright blue eyes, shes not really EMO

DeniseC- HI!!! your comment was awesome! under the circumstances i'll make it as happy as i can just for you =] but beware, this isn't going to be very romancey ((if thats a word)
your the best!
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Chapter 3

Alex had gone missing and I had no idea where he was.

The words of the doctor were settling in the pit of my stomach, was he really dead?

The pain in my heart confirmed what my brain would not, could not confirm.

I cried nightly.

I called his cell phone over and over again in the hope that it was all a lie and then I just called to hear his voice.

His mother Taryn Cosbeyl had even come down to see him, she had to make the funeral arrangements that I refused to make.

The apartment was empty and hollow. It seemed to echo the sound of my tears, there was not a thing out of place, it was pristine but the sun refused to shine in, I loved the sun, it seemed to understand my confusion.

I’d find myself just sitting on the coach, hours would pass and I’d still be there.

I’d be hungry but couldn’t move what if Alex came to this spot to look for me and I wasn’t there?

I’d have a purpose for a moment and then it would disappear as if it never existed in the first place.

I was cold then hot

Angry then sad

Desperate then defeated.

Most of all...

I was numb.

Mrs Cobeyl had taken to sleeping with me every night, she was my mom too, and that is why she never said a word. She could not comfort me; my world had been about Alex since I was born; now there was nothing.

Alex promised he would be back, but he never came.

On the 5th day of Alex’s disappearance I came downstairs in a sunflower dress that I knew Alex liked; surely he’d come back today.

I smiled at Taryn, she smiled back she also looked too nice as well and I couldn’t help but wonder if our combined beauty could attract Alex back.

Taryn wore a long sleek black dress her brown eyes glowing crinkling by the eyes, in a way that I had always loved.

She was old now and had watched everyone around her die; it was what we had in common.

I hugged her grateful that she had hidden Alex’s blonde hair under a black hat that suited her dress, she wore black gloves and smelt like a mommy and I was grateful.

The planning was over for her, even more so watching my despair was over. She’d go back home tomorrow.

In a way I knew she was in turn grateful to be released.

She led me to the car and I willingly obliged turning numb once again.

I had taken to just saying his name in my head Alex, Alex? Alex!
Alex Alex!
Alex...

The name itself was a comfort but it was because of this habit that I did not realize were Taryn was taking me, a graveyard.

I had never liked graveyards.

I imagined how unhappy I’d be to be buried next to other dead people, after all the horror movies I’d seen about grabbing ghouls I wasn’t about to go and lie with them for eternity.

Then, not only was I numb but my brain shut off.

I wasn’t ready to realize he would never come back.

I heard but did not listen to the priest talk.

Taryn Cobeyl spoke quietly referring to me referring to memories and then cried giving me the chance to return the favour and comfort her, except I never heard her; My mind was blank.

I sat still watching this strange scene play before my eyes.
People stood and sang.
More people talked.
More people cried.

"Alexia Richards"

"Lexie" Taryn shoved me lightly making me stand up. I looked around, baffled.

"Alexia?" the priest looked at me expectantly, then as if he was addressing a child said
"would you like to come up?"

" No!"

The word came out harsher then I thought they would.

I heard the intake of shocked breathe from the audience. I looked at each and every person as they stared at me with tear stained eyes.

"he lied"

Copying my audience’s eyes, I blinked back tears.

They fell down my cheeks and I fell with them crying and crying until I could no longer breathe and even then I continued crying begging for death rather than the oxygen I needed, I wanted Alex.

Then I saw it, is had been standing in the glass coffin before me the entire time but only now did I truly see it.

The cold body from before, the closed eyelids the cold hard hand that now looked pale. Memories flashed

Alex dressed exactly like the one before me, clothes he never really wore, but clothes he had proposed to me in.

I rocked on the floor.

Alex going on his knees smiling his cocky ass of: "I’m in a suit so this is special enough"

Taryn put her arms around me; holding me as I rocked from the memory.

"I promise I’ll always be here to make moments like these, he gestured to the park we sat in "special"

I closed my eyes tightly begging it to leave, people screamed behind me.

"Marry me?"

The screaming grew louder.

And then I went numb….
………………………………………………………………………………………

For the first time in weeks I was left alone.

I went straight to the grave yard, spending quality time with Alex’s body 10 feet under.

My lecturers had sent work to the flat and even my strange professor Baxter had given me time of.

Instead of playing computer games and movies in bed like I usually would, I spent most of my time at the grave yard.

After a few hours, I walked around tired of the writing on the tombstone "we’ll meet again in heaven I promise"

What if there is no heaven? And even then I was sick of promises; they were but words that were taken with the wind, made to be broken.

In the greatest irony a child play park laid next to the grave yard, and that’s were I found Isabella.

What attracted me to her, the most was the blonde hair and brown eyes that resembled Alex’s.

"this place is surrounded with an air of pathos" she sighed, a sigh rarely uttered by a 7 year old child, and yet the way she pronounced the words and the way she held herself together was that of an adults.

Intrigued I sat next to her watching an old couple cling to each other as they walked through the cemetery with the kids play ground as their back drop.
I thought of old English projects with themes like appearance versus reality

"They do not utter even a good day to me"

I looked at the playground of children, remembering times just like that when kids refused to play with me.

Looking down at the child before me, who clung to her 16th century teddy and wore a fancy doll dress. I had to admit I would not have spoken to her either.

She frowned, a frown that had Alex written all over it, could this have been our child? I stared at her in horror, tears springing to my eyes but she spoke on:

"Perhaps there are persons who are intended, created, to be alone." The words shocked me, but still I said nothing, I hadn’t talked in weeks.

My mom, my dad, Alex… yes I could see that happening... me alone.

"Or perhaps we or they choose not to acknowledge the love that is before us and therefore cannot comprehend let alone observe its monstrosities."

She sighed, a long sigh of an adult, unusual sad and solemn, suddenly I wanted to make this chid happy.

I held her hand and walked with her, out of the cemetery and into the play park.

I had not regained my ability to talk but she knew almost instinctively what I wanted to do.

She slid on the slide, played in the sand box and sat on the swing.

I learnt that what she had said was indeed correct, the other kids did not even acknowledge her.

One kid even sprayed sand over her on his way out of the sandbox not turning around to say sorry, but I played with her.

I sat with her, spraying sand in her hair, to her horror. Pushing the light swing till she screamed. Sat on the roundabout, roundabout spinning until the sun began to set.

Ignoring the flabbergasted looks from not only the rude little kids but parents as well, soon it was 6pm and my fun away from the truth was over.

After spending the entire day together she told me her name

"I am Isabella Fiona Jacobs" the name sounded familiar but I shrugged it off as she looked at me expectantly. I hadn’t talked since... the accident, so forming the words I wanted took awhile.

Isabella crossed her arms expectantly and impatiently, an eyebrow rose, forcing laughter from my throat.

"I’m Alexia Andrews, but you can call me Lexie" I followed her formal tone exactly; if possible she raised her eyebrow higher.

"You may not call me Bella I am Isabella Fiona Jacobs, but thank you for the pleasant day, I look forward to our next encounter."

But instead of leaving like I thought she would, she held my big hand with her tiny very cold one, her eyes boring into my own so I could not move.

"I wish you well, be happy, there are people out there who would love to be in your shoes" but before I could counter argue she skipped away, with a dead fiancé who would want to be in my shoes?

I went back to the flat.

Before Taryn had left she had woke me up with a huge jar of small Lindt chocolates.
"Take one everyday" she kissed the top of my head, smiling kindly at me as I lay dazed in bed "doctor’s orders"

She had then picked up her bags, with sad old mommy eyes and left me, just like everyone else had.

I didn’t question it or try to understand what had happened as I walked into the bedroom with a king sized bed, I did not remember making, and not one but two chocolates on my pillow.