Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Did you think that a relationship is abusive only if one partner is physically hurting the other? No, emotional abuse is also quite severe. However, you do not need to be in the pit of the problem to know that you are in an abusive relationship. There are a few signs that everyone should keep an eye out for. If these signs are seen, then get out of the relationship, as you would from a burning house.

23 Signs of Being in an Abusive Relationship

Here are 23 clear-cut warning signs as given by the Health First Organization.

1. Does your partner tease you in a hurtful way in private or in public?
2. Does your partner call you names such as "stupid" or "bitch"?
3. Does your partner act jealous of your friends, family, or co-workers?
4. Does your partner get angry about the clothes you wear or how you style your hair?
5. Does your partner check-up on you by calling, driving by, or getting someone else to?
6. Has your partner gone places with you or sent someone just to "keep an eye on you"?
7. Does your partner insist on knowing who you talk with on the phone?
8. Does your partner blame you for his problems or his bad mood?
9. Does your partner get angry so easily that you feel like you're "walking on eggshells"?
10. Does your partner hit walls, drive dangerously, or do other things to scare you?
11. Does your partner often drink or use drugs?
12. Does your partner insist that you drink or use drugs with him?
13. Have you lost friends or no longer see some of your family because of your partner?
14. Does your partner accuse you of being interested in someone else?
15. Does your partner read your mail, go through your purse, or other personal papers?
16. Does your partner keep money from you, keep you in debt, or have "money secrets"?
17. Has your partner kept you from getting a job, or caused you to lose a job?
18. Has your partner sold your car, made you give up your license, or not repaired your car?
19. Does your partner threaten to hurt you, your children, family, friends, or pets?
20. Does your partner force you to have sex when you do not want to?
21. Does your partner force you to have sex in ways that you do not want to?
22. Does your partner threaten to kill you or himself if you leave?
23. Is your partner like "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," acting one way in front of other people and another way when you are alone?

These are the signs as suggested and listed by the organization in reference to abusive relationship both, physical and emotional.

Early Signs of an Abusive Partner

The signs as cited above are the warning signs; however, even before one reaches a stage of complete abuse, there are a few early signs that you can keep an eye out for. These abusive relationship signs are to do with the nature of the person. If a person has such behavior, then they have the tendency to be abusive.

1. Jealousy: If the person has a tendency to get jealous and angry about the tiniest things, then a relationship with the person can be abusive.
2. Control: If in a relationship, one partner has all the control, financial and otherwise, then the relationship can get abusive. It is only a matter of time before the control turns into abuse.
3. Complexes: If in a relationship, one partner is always superior, while one is inferior, the relationship will be abusive. As such, if the person expects their partner to always be inferior from the start, it is abuse waiting to happen.
4. Manipulation: If a person always manipulates a situation so that the blame goes on the other person, then a relationship with that person can be brutally abusive.
5. Mood Swings: An abusive person is very extreme with their moods. They will be extremely caring one minute, and abusive the next. With time, these mood swings get more and more severe and hurtful for the abusee.
6. Punishment: An abusive relationship will never work on the principle of apology and forgiveness. It will follow the principle that "if you do the crime, you do the time". As such, such a relationship will have one partner being punished severely for every mistake they make.
7. Disrespect: An abusive partner will never show any respect for their partner. However, the scenario may differ in front of others, but factually, the abuser holds no respect for the abusee.
8. History: If a person has a history of relationship or self abuse, then the chances are that they will abuse in the current relationship as well.

One needs to keep an eye out for the chances of these signs. Even a slight inkling should be kept in mind. Abusers have a tendency to roll a person in with their charm, and then reveal their true selves to them.

Signs of an Abusive Relationship on the Outside

Do you think one of your friends is in an abusive relationship? Well, most of the signs listed above will not be very visible to the third person. However, there are a few small signs that can be seen. If you notice any of these on your friend, then you should get them help as soon as possible.

1. Unexplained bruises and wounds. The abusee will not even complain about the wounds and the pain they cause.
2. The abusee will have excessive guilt and shame. Even the slightest thing will get them feeling guilty, for no apparent reason.
3. An abusee will not be much in touch with their friends and family. They will be secretive and withdrawn.
4. Abusees will avoid social events. They will opt out of it at the last minute even if they are forced to confirm in the start. Their reasons may or may not be very consistent.

These signs require a keen eye to see, so if you have a doubt, then keep a keen eye out. Emotional abuse in relationships, and physical as well, can drive a person into suicide or acute depression and extreme fear of abandonment.

However, the basic point of all this information is to save people from such relationships. So, trust your self. If you are in an abusive relationship, find a way out, as fast as possible. If you would like to add anything to the article or share anything, feel free to write in the comments section. This is where I sign off! All the best!