Should Your Relationship be Saved?

Break-ups are rarely a pretty thing. No matter what caused the break-up, there are always new issues that pose a threat to your future romantic rekindling. Your ex may have lied, or cheated, or even just left the laundry on the floor one too many times; whatever broke down your relationship will leave a new path of destruction in its place.

With each cause for your parting of ways, you have to see what else it might have hurt. You may be able to forgive a drunken kiss behind your back, but you still have to deal with your best friend that was "subject number two" in the matter. If you try to rush through the clean up thinking that it will go away or that you can deal with it later, you are looking at month's worth of torment at your own expense. It doesn't matter what happened to end things, it will have its very own lasting effects that you never stopped to consider. Here are the first three things that you need to consider when you and your ex are trying to mend your broken connection.

1. Did you get over it?
If you can't get that horrible mental picture out of your head, you're obviously not over it. You have to fully face every aspect of whatever happened and decide if you can let it go or not. Some things are completely inexcusable and you need to recognize if this is something that is going to haunt you for any extended amount of time. If you're not over it, then it's not time to get back together. You'll only split up again in another month when your insanities hound him/her to death or push him back into the same behavior.

2. Are you ready to do it again?
Hold onto your hats for this news break.....THEY MIGHT DO IT AGAIN! You need to have a good solid grip on reality and be ready for it to happen again. Of course as part of getting over it you need to think positively and be working to reaffirm your trust, but you don't want to get caught out there. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me...fool me three times and everybody will know just how stupid you are. It sounds harsh, but it's too true. So rather than being a victim be ready to muster up some nerve and make sure you ready to do something about it. If you think that you will just sit back and take the abuse or set yourself up for round three of humiliation, you are definitely not ready to get back together.

3. Communicating like the best friends that you are!
Here's something positive in the ugliness of getting back together. Your partner is supposed to be your best friend; they know you better than anyone else. It's so important that you both still feel that way and can sit down and talk it out with all the love and trust that there should be. If one of you is holding something back or lying or being nasty about the situation, it's time to re-evaluate the damage from the break-up. Poor communication will divide you as a couple. If you are not working productively together, there will be no growth.

If you are sure that whatever happened between the two of you can be fixed and both of you can move past it, then you are in better shape than a lot of other couples that have broken up and tried to get back together.

I'm a mother of two from New York. I have a wonderful man in my life. We went through a nasty split up after 5 years together, however I am blessed to say that we have pulled it together and are going stronger than ever. Through it all I have learned a lot about him and myself with a little bit of help. For more relationship advice.