Sheldon 4

July 9, 2008. 10:35 PM

When I woke up, my mom was there, not Sheldon.
"Hey, sleepy. I was wondering when you were gonna wake up. Sheldon came back with another movie, but I told him you were still asleep, so he went ahead to bed. You guys can watch it tomorrow. But, anyhow, how are you feeling? Sheldon’s been in here more than me, and that’s fine but I want to know how you’re doing too. Are you doing all right?"
"I’m fine. I’m just always really tired, I’m never hungry, and I just feel like ‘bleck.’ You know?" I said. My voice had pretty much gone back to normal, and it wasn’t scratchy from the food tube, it was just hard to breathe sometimes.
"Yeah, honey. I know….but that’s what happens when you have this chronic illness. I’m sorry, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask, your dad and I and Sheldon are all right here for you."
I nodded, "What time is it?" I asked, the clock was on the wall, but I couldn’t read it because of the angle I was at.
My mom glanced at her wrist. "It’s about 10 ‘til 11." she said.
"At night?!" I freaked out. I had slept for a long time. She nodded. "Geez."
"Are you still tired?" she asked. I shook my head. I was always tired, but I didn’t want to go to sleep right now.
"Okay, well, we can play a game. Or we can watch TV, or your dad brought your iPod up today after work if you want to listen to that." No, I didn’t want to play a game because that made you think. Watching TV was boring. Listening to my iPod would make me want to go to sleep. This hospital was so damn boring.
"Can we just talk?" I finally asked.
"Sure. What about?" she asked, sitting down on my bed and patting my legs.
"Why can’t I go home? There’s nothing to do here. At least at home I can call people, and I can rest in the comfort of my own bed and watch what I want instead of just the regular channels." I complained.
"Honey, you know the answer to that. You fainted at the carnival. The doctors think you’re getting sick again, your temperature was 100 degrees while you were asleep, and I didn’t want to tell you, but since you brought up going home I guess I had no other choice." she explained, trying to be sympathetic.
"Sick, sick ,sick. God damn, mom, I am always sick! Always! I’m tired of it. I just want to go home and live a normal life." I yelled, turning around in my bed so that I was no longer facing her.
"I’m sorry, honey. I’ll leave you alone. I’ll be right down the hall if you need me." she patted my head and kissed it, then left.
I’m pretty sure that I feel asleep again, cause this time, when I woke up my dad was sitting on the edge of my bed. I knew he had talked to my mom because he was looking at my baby pictures that he kept on his phone, and he only did that if he and my mom had talked about me. After being in this sticky situation for a while, I had picked up some things.
"Hey, Daddy." I said. He turned around and scooted up on my bed.
"Hey, pumpkin. I talked to your Mom." I told you so. "She told me what you said. I’m very sorry that you feel that way. Believe me, if I could trade places with you, I’d do it in a second. I promise you that. But, I can’t." he explained.
"Why didn’t you guys tell me I was getting sick again? And mom never did answer my question, why can’t we go home? I can get better there, too."
"We didn’t tell you because there’s nothing to worry about. Just a couple more pills to take once a day and that’s all. The doctors said not to worry about it, if it gets any worse we’ll let you know. You can’t go home because then we would have to pay for private home care and we can barely pay the bill as it is. I’ve had to take off from work, so we don’t have that much money rolling in now. Your mother works at night for a little bit, but it is not enough. I’m sorry." he said.
"I understand. I’m sorry I’m putting us in such a rut." I apologized.
"No, honey. Never, we love you, whether we are broke or not." he laughed.
I nodded. "Daddy, what time is it?" I asked.
"It’s about 3 in the morning, why?" he asked.
"3 in the morning? Dad, why are you here? Go back to your room and sleep. I feel so bad! I’m keeping you up. If I would’ve known the time I would have told you sooner."
"You’re fine. But I am kind of tired, I’m going to go back to my room, you going to be okay?"
"Yeah, Dad. Thanks, can I have my iPod though?" I requested.
"Sure. Here ya go." he dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out my blue iPod nano.
"Thanks." I took it from him, put the ear buds in, and turned it to my favorite song. So Damn Clever by the Plain White T’s.

* * *

March 22, 2007. 8:45 AM

Throw it away, forget yesterday……"Hello?" I answered groggily. I mean, for heaven’s sake! It was still pretty early.
"Hey, babe! Happy birthday!" Sheldon shouted.
"Oh my god, thank you!" I said, I had never had a boyfriend on my birthday before and today was something that I was really looking forward to.
"Your welcome, what time do you want me to come over? Are your parents up yet? It’s Saturday, you know. That means we get the whole day together."
"Yeah, I know. I don’t know. You woke me up."
"Oh, hey, I’m sorry. Just---call me when you are more awake."
"Okay. See you."
"All right. Happy birthday." he said, then he hung up.
I got out of bed and went downstairs. My mom and dad were on the couch, and there were 5 presents on the kitchen table. The cake was displayed in the refrigerator.
"Happy birthday, Clair!" they shouted, jumping up from the couch.
"Thanks!" I said. I was really excited this year, because last year I spent my birthday in the hospital, and I was sure that this year would bring much more fun.
"Here, open your presents." my mom said, getting up. My dad reached for the camera and my mom carried my presents into the living room and prompted me to sit down on the couch.
She handed me one that was shaped like a box. It was wrapped with yellow paper. I ripped it off to find a JC Penny’s clothes box. It was a beautiful pink top with rhinestones around the collar.
"Oh, Mom, it’s lovely. Thank you." I blushed.
"Oh, sweetie, anytime. Open this one, it’s from your dad." she smiled at my dad, and they exchanged glances.
She handed me a small box, I thought it was jewelry, but when I ripped off the paper it was the brand new iPod nano that had just come out last Fall. The color was blue and it shone in it’s case under the light.
"Thank you, daddy!" I screamed jumping up and giving him a hug. "You too, Mom." I added, hugging my mom next.
"Anytime. Come on, keep opening, you still have 3 more." my dad encouraged me. And on it went. The next one I opened was a charm bracelet from my mom. It already had charms on it, including one with my name. The second-to-last-one was another top, only this one was blue with a ocean on it. It had a pelican flying out to sea with the sun setting in the background. My last present was the best, by far. My grandma had sent it up from Florida. It was a sand dollar. Inside the box was a note:
Dear Clair,
Happy birthday! I hope that this present finds it’s way through the mail before your birthday. I hope you like it, I found it on the beach and I just thought that you would love it. I remembered how fascinated you were with the ocean life when you visited here a couple years ago. I hope you are well.

Love, Granny.

My mom squeezed my shoulder and I realized something.
"Wait. You guys, I don’t want any of this stuff. Please take it back." I said. I knew what they were trying to do, I had caught on.
"What? Baby, why? It’s your birthday." my mom said.
"Yes, I know that. But, I know that me being in the hospital all the time can not be that cheap. I know we have insurance, but you guys, come on. I’m not that stupid. Please, don’t waste your money on my birthday…I’ll be fine. Take it all back." I threw the boxes aside and started to head upstairs, leaving my mom’s head dangling.
"Hey." my dad wrapped his hand around my wrist and pulled me back. "Your mother and I spent a great deal of money on this, true. But, we had fun doing it, and we had some help from granny for hospital stuff, all right? Stop worrying about money. Worry about the fact that it’s your birthday and you have two new tops to wear, and oh my god which one are you going to wear first?!" my dad joked.
I smiled and stopped pulling against him. "Okay. I’m going to go call Sheldon back. See you in a minute." I smiled at my parents and went upstairs and called him.
"Hello?" he answered. He sound sick.
"Sheldon? Are you still coming over?" I asked.
"Oh, god. Baby, I’m sorry. I was eating breakfast and as soon as I got done, it came back up. My mom says that I had what she had a couple of days ago. The flu. I’m sorry, really, I really want to be there. You know that, right?" my heart sunk. My hopes and dreams of this being the prefect birthday ever went down the drain.
"Oh, well that’s okay. I’ll hang out with my parents." I said.
"You do that. I’ll stop by tomorrow if I feel better." he promised.
"You can’t." I said, feeling the true pain of this illness.
"Why?" he asked, as if he didn’t already know.
"You know why." I spat. "If you’re sick you can’t be around a cancer patient until 72 hours is over. I can see you Monday night, at the latest. And you can’t go to school on Monday. You’re in almost all of my classes except for one."
"Clair, that’s bull shit and you know it. What if I am feeling better tomorrow? Huh? Why can’t I see you when I feel better?" he shouted.
"Because! It takes 72 hours for a disease to completely get out of the human body if it’s just a virus! You knew this! They told you all of this crap when you found out I had leukemia!" I shouted.
"Whatever, this sucks and you know it." he hung up.
I laid down on my bed and cried harder that I ever had.

* * *

July 10, 2008. 10:22 AM

My iPod ear buds were still in my ears when I woke up. They were changing my IV again, and the needle going into my arm woke me up.
"Oh, sorry, honey. If I would’ve known that the needle was going to wake you up I would have waited until later."
"It’s fine." I said, sitting up and turning off my iPod.
I watched the TV until Sheldon walked in a few minutes later.
"Hey, baby. I got another movie. Are you ready to watch it?" he held up Because I Said So.
"Yeah. This TV’s pretty easy to work. Just stick it in and hit play." I laughed, thinking of the time that he had to use all my remotes just to play one movie.
He chuckled. "Okay." he took the DVD out and stuck it in the player.
He motioned for me to scoot over and I did. I scooted toward my IV so that he would not be laying on all those tubes.
"Do you want a pillow?" I asked as the movie started, reaching back behind me to get one for him.
"No, no. You’re fine. I should be asking you if you need anything. Are you cold? Want another pillow? Some ice chips, maybe? I’ll call the RN."
"No, I mean, I’m a little bit cold, but these blankets should do." I said.
"No, I’ll get you another one. Where are they?" I pointed to a cabinet by the door.
"Okay. Pause the movie a sec." I did and he got up and got me another blanket, settling it over my body. "Better?" he asked.
I smiled.
"Okay. Start it back up." I did, and I got to the part where Lindsay Lohan had met the musician before I fell asleep.
Sheldon shook me awake after what seemed like 10 minutes. "Hey, sleepy. Sorry to wake you up, but lunch’s here." I glanced at the tray. Joy, more ice chips.
I whimpered. I felt so bad all of a sudden.
"Clair? Baby, what’s wrong? You need me to get you something?" he asked in a gentle tone that I could barely hear because of the constant beeping going on in my ear.
I nodded.
"What? C‘mon…tell me what’s wrong." I screamed from all of the pain in my body and Sheldon got up off the bed. "I’m going to go get a nurse…you look really pale." he left and Dr. Hanna rushed in followed by a couple of RN’s.
"Clair? C’mon talk to me." I started breathing faster and my vision got so blurry. I felt like I was falling and I grabbed hold of the railing on my bed. My hand started to shake and no matter how much I tired, I couldn’t stop it. "Doctor! We got a seizure!" one of the RN’s yelled as my machines started to beep.
I could barely make out Sheldon’s shape outside the door, hugging his mom, crying.