She Will Be Loved - Chapter 4

He has been ignoring me. Even during Science labs. He barely looks at me. He wears a grimace for a smile. He always smells like fifty packs of cigarettes. I even tried to talk to him but the fear burned in me. It's only be two days. He'll come around. I just wished I had him to talk to again. Like Mike and my mother are getting pretty serious. They are no longer quiet of sinful deeds. Laughing until two in the morning in the living room and making loud noises throughout the night. In the mornings, my mother looks like she just came from a spa. I don't know how she does it. Today, she has something important to say.

"I think maybe you and Brett should stay with your father for the next few weeks. I mean it's only fair. You barely get to see your dad."

"Why can't we stay here?" I sat up. I didn't like being with Blaire at all.

"Cause you can't." Brett said getting up as well. "She is just a failure and she has finally comes to terms with it. I am leaving."

He slammed the front door closed. I didn't know if to follow him like he would have done for me or hate my mother verbally too. What happened to my perfect family? The ones that use to eat pot roast on Sundays and go to church in the mornings, and go camping in the mountains?

It has been a week since that whole incident at Graham's house. I figure he won't come around because he's scared. So I catch him at the bus stop. I figured I'd tell him my good news. Mad or not.

"My mother is leaving me." I said with a grin.

"And that is something you're happy about?" He didn't look at me as he smoked his stupid cigarette.

"I always wanted her to leave me. Now, she is sending me to live with my dad. I don't want to. I want to be free. Like I was in your room. When you kissed me. I felt empty but at the same time happy."

He looked at me now. His eyes were glassy and I can tell he wanted to cry. "The look on face as if I hurt you somehow."

"You did." I smiled. "You hurt me in pleasure and lust. I wasn't fighting you. I actually wanted it and liked it."

"You act you never kissed a boy before." He shook his head, laughing.

"I have. Just not the way you kissed me. You made me feel empty." I shrugged. "I didn't pee myself when I cuddle up next to you."

"I noticed." He put out his cigarette just as the bus was turning the corner. "I call you later. And I am sorry for being stupid jerk to you this entire time."

Something about his apology made me feel happy.

Blaire's house is so far away from the school. About six miles and my mother actually thinks this is where I want to be. It's a gloomy lavender room with lavender bed sheets and lavender this and that. I want to burn it all but I hold my raging urge and take a look around. I place my bags of clothes and shoes in the empty closet. Blaire walked in with a glass of wine. It was only four in the afternoon. Could she not wait until dinner?

"It's not much," She took sip of wine and gestured to the entire room, "but, it use to be my favorite room. It has the best window viewing in the whole house. It peers right out to the lawn and it has a little balcony but it's made of stone nothing special. You can put some flowers to lighten things up. I suppose it can be used to accommodate other things as well."

"Thank you for the tour, I guess," I closed the window and looked at her directly, "but this is only for the weekend. My mom would not just leave us without our consent and I truly don't agree with the living terms here."

"At least, you found some talent. That's why I don't have children. They're ungrateful." She spun around, her fake hair hitting me in my face, and walked out of the room.

Brett walked in after her shutting the door behind him.

"I don't like it here." He whispered with huge eyes. "It's like a regular house. My bedroom has dinosaurs! Dinosaurs! I'm freaking fifteen! I put up posters of naked girls and have guys over sitting in bean bag chairs drinking cold Coca Cola! Not dinosaurs!"

"Relax," I laughed patting his head, "it's only for a short time but you're lucky. I got stuck with the empty room."

"I thought Blaire was nice," he shook his head and walked off, "I guess I was wrong. I am going to call mom and beg for forgiveness cause I am not staying here for three years or more!"

I wonder what Graham would do to a room like this. I decided against playing with the room in case we don't stay here. Plus, I go off to college in a few months. I don't need this room for long.

I met Stacey today. Graham's ex-girlfriend. The girl he spent two years of his life with. The one he dumped. The one who he said "I love you" to probably more than once in those two years. But then I remember the conversation we had about her:
"Fine. You will when you are ready. I had a girlfriend named Stacey."
"Why did she break up with you?"
"I broke up with her." He corrected. "For her own good. She was driving me to the point I would have hit her."
"Oh, why?"

"She was cheating on me with some boy. I wasn't sad or upset just outraged."
Then I look at this so-called Stacey. She has dark coffee brown eyes, light blond hair with orange streaks going through the ends, pink pulsh lips and a beautiful round face. She was wearing a very high skirt with black leggings underneath. She wore a tight shirt that said, "Can't Touch These..." which made me do double takes on the double meaning of the phrase. He dated this thing?! This vile disgusting thing?! She was perfect! Why did he break up with her?! If only...

"Stacey, this is Leslie. Leslie, this is Stacey." Graham introduced us and I am sure he was feeling awkward. "It's funny running into you in all places. I thought you gave up on hot sugary cinnamon pretzels?"
"Old habits never change, Grahmie." She pinched his cheeks and smiled. "You should know that by now."
"Well, it is kind of a bad habit but Leslie is going to help me quit. Aren't you, Leslie?" Graham smiled widely at me.

I was still in shock at how pretty Stacey was. I didn't know what they were talking about.
"Huh?" I asked, looking as confused as a monkey who has lost his banana.
"He smokes because of his mom. I use hate to it. He stopped smoking for me. Two years. Those were the days." I knew she didn't like me. I could tell by the way she talked so slowly to me like I was stupid and how she said 'he' and 'me' with so much emphasis. "He did a lot of things for me. A lot of things." She smiled and moaned. I felt sick.
"Well, it was nice meeting you again." Graham looked embarrassed and upset.
"You know, I am free whenever you need me." She smiled a big grin. "It's not like you're dating anyone."
Which was true. But I thought he liked me as I walked off. Graham ran to catch up with me.
"You didn't even wait for me or your pretzel." He handed it to me but I wasn't sure if I wanted it so much now but I take it anyway.
"She's really pretty." I whispered as I take a nibble out of my pretzel. It tastes good.
"You mean that creature?" He laughed really hard. "That's not the girl I fell in love. That girl has slept with every guy in her path because she felt sorry for the one she lost. That girl isn't the Stacey that I knew. That girl is something I won't be dating any time soon."
I laughed then asked, "So, you have actually been with her for two years?"

"Yeah," he nodded taking a huge bite out of my pretzel, "the first year was awesome. The first girl I lost it to. Then second year took the turn for the worse cause she wanted more after that first year and when I didn't give it to her, she found someone else for her urges."
"Were you that good?" I teased as I ate the same part he bit off. I can kinda taste him in that one bite. But I think it's only in my head though.
"Nah, I don't think I was since it was my first time and I didn't know what I was doing." He seemed uncomfortable so I decided to change the topic.
"I like this. I like being here. With you. It's fun." I smiled. And for once that big gray cloud I always wake up with is completely gone. Nothing is above my head.
"Why thank you!" He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I felt important. He was here with me and not with Stacey.

It rained on Saturday so I couldn't go to the park. Blaire says the rain is the worst thing you want to be in. Dad's house, or should I say Blaire's house, is awful looking in the rain. Mom is making us spend a week here now. I guess that one weekend proved too much. She is planning on switching custody roles. I tried to not remember all that trouble as I listened to my music. I heard the loud bang of my window being open.

"You got to put a lock on this thing." He gestured as he walked in. I laughed at him. Graham always knew how to make a rainy day look magificent.

I was barely wearing any clothes. Just my lacy purple panties and white tank top. He stared at me up and down. The fear grew on me but he didn't make a move or nothing. He just stood there pulling off his wet shoes and jacket.

"What are you doing here?" I smiled trying to find some pants in my duffel bags. Where did I stuff them?

He sneezed after saying, "I wanted to see you."

"Fair enough but if dad finds you in here, you won't live to see me anymore." I finally found the gray sweat pants I was looking for but Graham had snatched from my hands.

"What are you doing?" He laughed holding the sweat pants above his head. "I like looking at you without pants. You have such nice skin."

"Come on!" I jumped up for my sweats. "I am cold."

"You weren't cold before when you were parading around your room with no pants on. You're just shy." He held them up higher.

"But now I am cold. So, please give me!" I tried really hard but he was so tall.

It's when he noticed it. Something my own mother could not see. The very fair small scar on my stomach. It's not very noticeable but up close it looks like an L shape. He touched it with his cold finger.

"Wow. I have seen better though." He smiled and handed me my pants. He laid down on my bed. "How did it happen?"

"I rather not discuss." I shrugged on my pants quickly and join him.

"Don't give that bull." He laughed. "Please do tell."

"You're so annoying!" I blushed. "You nag, annoy, tease and make fun of me!"

"Thank you." He nodded briefly before sitting up. " I know you love me though and lavender doesn't suit you."

"I know but it's Blaire's room." I sighed, missing my real bedroom.

"I like the panties though." He whispered in my ear. I bit at my bottom lip trying to hold back my grin.

"Leslie, it's time for dinner!" Brett called from downstairs.

"Do you have to go?" He begged burying his head in my neck.

"Yes, I do." I pushed myself up. "You be a good boy, please?"

"Yeah, I promise not to go rummaged through your underwear or anything." He leaned back on my bed.

"Better not! And please don't make too much noise." I giggled.

I ran down the stairs feeling different. I was hoping dinner was a quick one. I took only a little bit of food. Blaire forced more on my plate.

"Don't be shy." She put more mashed potatoes on my plate. I wanted to hit her.

"I am not-"

"Oh boy! Mashed potatoes!" Brett pushed his way in between us for some food. "Mom, never makes food like this! What's for dessert?"

"Apple pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream." She said to him and then she turned to me. "I made a pie just for you. Your mom said you like apple pie."

"I am a dessert fan all the way." My father bellowed wrapping his arm around Blaire. "I can't wait to eat."

I ate what Blaire forced onto my plate. I shoved the plate in the sink and tried to make my way up the stairs when Blaire shoved me back to the table.

"I'm s-"

"No, no. You have to eat this. You're going to like it." She placed a plate of apple pie in front of me. I sighed.

"Why do you want to go back to your room so badly?" Brett asked stuffing his face with pie and whip cream.

"You know why." I whispered.

"I do?" He looked confused then his face changed to realization. "Oh!"

After dessert, I bounded up the stairs before Blaire could corner me with more food. When I got upstairs, Graham was sitting on my bed looking at my photo album. It was an album I had thrown over here to forget about.

"I don't really like to look at them. They were a past life." I stated sitting next to him.

I watched the photo of Brenda and I hugging each other.

"But you were happy." He pointed out. "What happened?"

I wanted to say the truth. I wanted to pour my soul out this one boy but I could not. I could not tell him.

"They were not true friends. When Ricky and I broke up, I was out of the group. I guess that is how it works." I was telling only one true thing in that sentence. The rest were pure lies that burned off my tongue.

"I guess." He closed the album and shoved it back under the bed. "How was dinner?"

"It tasted awful. All that food being thrown down my throat." I shook my head remembering.

He chuckled, "Stacey came to my hosue the other day. It was awkward."

I teased, "Let me guess, she wanted to strip you down to your boxers and knock you down on top of your bed?"

"Haha, Leslie!" He tickled me.

"Come on!" I laughed and I felt warm. He kept on tickling me. "Stop!"

"See, you shouldn't have been so mean to me." He laughed, shaking his head. "Anyway, she thinks you're my girlfriend. She is quite jealous of you."

"Why? She has that rocking hot curvy body. I am this flat, bony thing with black hair on top of my head." I sighed.

"Not really. I see you differently than you do." He commented, playing with my hair. "But don't feel you have lost all hope for me yet. Cause you think I am as sexy as ever."

I laughed really hard almost falling off my bed. "No! You are ugly. Awful curly hair falling in your eyes constantly. You have deep eyes and big hands. And-"

He pressed his lips onto mine only this time I kissed back. "And that's why you like this. You want this." He teased, licking his lips.

I shoved him away, laughing. Then there was a knock on the door which made us both jumped.

"Leslie, can you come help me for a minute?" I heard Blaire on the other side of the door.

"Sure, coming!" I called back, hoping off the bed. "Don't move. We'll continue this later."

He laughed softly kicking my butt as I walked to the door. Blaire showed me some boxes.

"These use to be mine. I thought we could put them on your bookself together." She suggest already taking the box down the hall.

I ran ahead of her. "We don't have to do that right now!" I shouted hopefully Graham would hear before Blaire walked into my room.

"But I am sure it's-"

"No!" I screamed blocking my bedroom door. "We don't need to do that right now!"

"Fine!" Blaire looked upset and my dad made his way upstairs.

"What's with all the yelling?" He asked, he frowned at me.

"I don't want Blaire in the room I am sleeping in to put books away. I want to be alone." I tell him softly. I am afraid he will take Blaire's side.

"You can be alone any other day of the week. Come on. I think you and Blaire could-"

"I don't mean to be disrespectful but I am an adult by law. I don't need to listen to you!" I slammed the door in their faces and locked it.

My dad was very upset. Graham looked at me with sorry eyes.

"You didn't have to-"

"I know but I didn't want her in here anyway. I don't like her trying to be mom to me or my brother." I say feeling like a baby.

He laughs at this crazy behavior and scoops me into his big arms. "If I didn't know you any better, I say you aren't the same girl you were the first day I met you."

He pressed his lips to me and I felt happy. He was mine. Forever and ever. Was he really though?