She Will Be Loved - Chapter 3

-Chapter 3-

Graham didn't come to school this morning. I was left alone to face those jerks. Ricky caught me just before I reached art class. He held me against the wall. I kept thinking about that day with Graham and how alike it was to this moment.

"What's with you and the new boy?" He asked so harshly. I tried to escape his grasp but his hands gripped my waist even tighter. It burned. "You better tell or I will hurt you more."

"Nothing!" I screamed feeling sick.

"Better be. That guy doesn't know anything. Does he?"

"Maybe." I wiggled a little and the grip changed to crushing my bones.

"No, no. No maybes." He pressed his wet yucky lips on mine. "He doesn't know anything. Now you keep doing what you're doing and we won't have a problem now will we?"

I could only nodded but in my mind I said maybe. After he walked away, I made sure he was in a classroom before I let out the breath I held in. I began walking away really fast, not really feeling in a school mood anymore. I bumped into someone like I did on the first day of school. This person was wet, warm and covered with snow moisture. He also smelled like cigarettes. I knew it was him before I even looked up.

"Leslie," He smiled at me. "About last night I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine. Just next time, if I fall asleep..." I shook my head. "There won't be a next time in fact."

"Oh come on. You know you enjoyed me being there. Sleeping in my bed, smelling me and wishing you could have me right then and there!" He teased me with a wet kiss but I shoved him away. I felt different about this teasing kiss. I kind of wanted it.

"Get away!" I giggled. I have never laughed like that before. It was girly and broke through the gray for a moment.

"Don't you kids have someplace to be?" Principal Frends was watching us from her office door. "I smell something very strong. I wouldn't want to have to call your mother, Graham. I don't want to be the one to tell her that her son is doing drugs, again."

"It was only one cigarette." Graham defended. "Besides, she said I could smoke all I wanted. Just not around her."

"Get to class!" And with that the door was slammed shut.

We didn't wait to be told twice. We walked hurriedly down the hall.

"You still owe me that kiss." He muttered going right while I went left. "Later."

I only nodded. Then I remember what happened in the hallway with Ricky. I shivered. Who knew he was still scary. School went by like a blur. Expect for those brief moments with Graham, I was alone. I was waiting for my mom when they approached me. Brenda, Jennifer, Allison, and the new member that replaced me, Gabriella. They closed this tight circle around me.

"You can't have the new boy." Brenda was clear and direct.

My mother pulled up. "Look, I don't even want him. Back off! "

I pushed past them and jumped into the car. My mother was putting on some lip gloss. I hate those girls now. They were so out of my league. They were awful. They did awful things. Why was I ever part of that group?

"I haven't seen you talked to those girls in a while. The Best Jumping Awesome Lads. Is that what you girls called yourselves?" My mother pulled off and I leaned my head against the car window. I closed my eyes.

"Mom, there was this-"

"Leslie, I think whatever happened could be resolved. You could lose some pounds and fix your hair up and maybe you'll get Ricky back."

"I don't want him back!" I wanted to scream.

Instead I kept my mouth shut and ran to my room as soon as the car pulled into the driveway. I was buried in my sheets when Brett ran into my room holding up a long board.

"Dad and Blaire got me this neat long board! I am going to do so many tricks at the skate arena. Want to tag along?" His eyes pleaded the most, then his mouth. I could give in but my dad came in the room just then.

"Don't feel too jealous. We got you something too." Blaire came over and dropped it on top of me.

It was a long and wide box covered in red striped wrapping paper. I tore it open without a pause. It was a dress. The kind of dress I swore to never wear again.

"Thank you." When I was sure they were gone, I was going to bury it in my closet to be forgotten.

"Leslie, we could get more-"

"Dad, can we go to the park now?!" Brett always knew how to dive in for me.

Blaire may have looked young as me but she wasn't my age. She wasn't my mother. She was nothing to me. She was just my dad's play toy. Something to marry for money than to leave within two years. I wanted to slap her when she spoke to me. "We could fix your hair and get you a date. I know some pretty nice boys. I think you'll like them."

"I don't need to be set up on a date. If I wanted to go on a date, I could ask a boy myself. For your information, boys are jerks and only want one thing. Get over yourself!" I was very good at wanting to say stuff but never could get them out.

Instead I said, "Maybe."

I watched them leave and head for the car. They would go ice skating and skateboarding like a perfect little family. I wish I could go back. My phone rang and I knew it was Graham.

I spent the holidays with my dad. It was pretty fast. I missed my room bu at least here, I didn't have to explain the constant washing of my sheets. When I got back home, I found that mom's tree was full of presents. I noticed a guy standing in boxers drinking a beer. I stared at him. Brett looked at him with his mouth wide open.

"Who are you?!" Brett nearly tossed his backpack at the man.

"You must be Alice's kids. You must be Leslie and Brett. I am Mike. I am so sorry to meet you at such embarrassing terms." He stuck out his free hand but I just stared at shirtless man with a grimace.

"So, you're the guy that has been knocking my mom around the corner, eh?" Brett was so rude. I wanted to slap him but I didn't because I was already running to the bathroom.

All that Banana Nut Bread that I ate made me frown now. I felt hot and sweaty and knew what was coming.

"Don't worry. She is always sick." I heard my mother and felt her wiping my face. "If I didn't know you any better, I would say you're pregnant!"

It did feel that way but I wasn't. I would know.

"We should see a doctor." I mumbled burying my head into the toilet again.

"Yes. We'll go tomorrow." I felt her leave and Brett took her place.

My mother drove me to my favorite doctor the next day. His name is Dr. Herberts. You know, one of those lame names that make you grimace? Plus, he makes me laugh. He gave me some funny kind of liquid to keep me still while he took my blood.

"She isn't pregnant for one. She has a normal blood pressure for a kid her age. I think she just had an upset tummy. I gave her something ease the pain but it makes her a little out of it." He smiled at me and wiped my bangs from my face. "You just take care and afterwards you can eat a whole tub of ice cream."

I spent the next two days home. I received two phones calls. Both from Graham. If I didn't know any better, I would say he was my best friend. He called to just talk to me. He called to see if I were okay. Was it kindness or pity? I couldn't say it was out of friendship just yet.

School began again for me. The days became hectic and mashed into one. January brought the new year and February brought new beginnings. We sent out college applications back in October and next month we're going to get our acceptances. I applied to out of state colleges. Graham did too. We were walking in the park that use to be full of pinks, reds, oranges and purples. Sometimes the colors blended to make one whole new color. Graham wore his hair gelled back which made him look young and smart. He held my hand as he walked across the benches looking down at me. It were these times that made me imagine him as my husband and we have two beautiful kids walking beside us. This dream lasts for about two minutes a day.

"I am kind of hungry." His stomach grumbled as if on cue. "Want to grab a bite to eat in the city?"

"The bus trip is twenty-nine minutes. Then we have to walk three blocks to get to the mall which takes ten minutes. Then add another-"

"Leslie, stop acting like your my mother or your mother. Just enjoy this incredibly beautiful day with me!" He hopped down and lead the way.

I would go with him any day! He looked cute today plus he didn't smoke not even once from the time we got here! I was willing to go hang out with him. We spent the entire afternoon eating cookies and cherry flavored Icees. The day had brought me back with a huge smile. After that, Graham suggested I meet his mother. I didn't know what to say. I agreed to meet her.

Unlike his dad, Graham's mother Susan lived in a small house about five miles from the school and two miles from my house. The house was located in one of those neighborhoods where the houses are all built differently and are painted bright colors. Graham's house was painted a light yellow with a white pitch fence going around the perimeter. You know the ones they have in movies and little kids from 70s or 80s are riding those big red bicycles down the block. That's what it felt like only when you walked through the front door of Graham's house, it looked nothing at all like it did outside.

"Well, about time you returned home!" The man reminded me of Mike only he was wearing jeans. He stared at me with lustful eyes. "At least, you brought something useful!"

I looked around the house. It was very gloomy and pale like Graham. I was waiting for his mom to come out dressed in a flour caked apron and hot cookies on a platter but all I saw was this bony woman. She had short brown hair and light freckles across her nose. Her skin was normally pale and her eyes a sparkingly beautiful green shade. Behind those eyes though were great years of hurt. She seemed like a mother who had been through so much. She smiled at me pleasantly.

"You must be Leslie!" She grinned. "I can't ever get Graham to shut up about you. Always wanting to call you. I swear the boy acts like he is thirteen instead of eighteen!"

Graham groaned in embarrassment and I blushed with pleasure.

"I am hungry." The man was staring at me hard like he was undressing me with his eyes.

"Oh, Gary!" Susan laughed as she shoved him in the kitchen. "Make yourself at home. I am making some onion burgers!"

Onion burgers? The taste burned in my mouth. The taste of onion, ketchup and-

"Please don't." I felt his mouth on my ear as he lead me upstairs.

"What?" I asked biting my bottom lip. I was hoping upstairs looked sunnier than downstairs.

"Whenever you make that face, you throw up, run and make me feel like I did something wrong." He explained standing in front of a closed door.

"Sorry," It was the first thing that came to mind. "I get that way after a while."

"Don't apologize for something you can't help." He tapped the door and smiled at me. "Now, this is better than my other bedroom. It's my space. My zone."

When he opened the door, I saw what he meant. The room was covered in posters and pictures of family members and heavy metal bands. Jeans, shirts and shoes just tossed about in the room. I could tell the walls were painted a light green with made the room almost dark. The posters and pictures made the room even darker though. There was one bay window with green padding and a few books rested there. They were half opened like he had been reading. There was a desk with a computer that was on its screensaver of a light green spiral going all over the screen. There was a lamp whose lightbulb was the color of light green and gave the room the effect of darkness. His bed sheets were green and black. I knew his favorite colors now. Before I could even analyze the room any farther he spoke.

"I sit right here and paint." He showed me a sketch of a girl standing alone in the rain. "I sketch when I talk to you on the phone or sometimes I play my guitar. I am not a good musician as I am painter."

The easel was a light wood and rested near his bed. "It's hand-made, right?"

"How smart you are." He nodded. "My dad and I made it. My mom was a little jealous at how much I bond with him and not with her."

"How come?" I sat down on his bed. He was right about one thing. He smelled so good. I could help but wrapped myself in his bed sheets.

"Trying to control everything in her path. She hates to lose power." He brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes. "Want to hear some music? I don't listen to that other stuff but I might have something in here you might know."

We ended just listening to one of his bands. The lyrics and the voices screamed from the speakers. I felt like sleeping. He laid next to me on his bed.

"Leslie?"

"Yes?" I looked up at him. He looked so peaceful.

"I want to tell you something but I don't want to lose my friendship with you." He said softly. "So, I'll wait until I have done my deeds."

I nodded. My eyes felt heavy but I fought it. I wasn't going to sleep and embarrass myself again. I knew Graham had fallen asleep. I looked at the clock. The green numbers read nine-thirty. I gave in. I rested my head on his chest and fell asleep.

When I woke up, I was expecting to feel moisture but nothing. I sat up drenched in sweat. Still nothing. The sheets were completely the same. Graham was lying on his stomach now. The clock read four in the morning. I knew my mother must be angry with me. Saturday morning. I yawned silently.

"Please don't go, Leslie." Graham wrapped his arms around my waist. "It's so nice to watch you sleep peacefully."

"But my mom-"

He pressed his lips onto mine. It hurt because of how fast and rough he did. I pulled away feeling worthless. Open. Empty. What words described me better?

"Sorry!" He got up and left the room.

I took that as my cue to leave. What just happened?