She Will Be Loved - Chapter 29 - Part 2

Shafi- Not really a string but more like thick blue rope.

Natasha- I like your name and I will.

Zy- lol, Techicolor has its meanings but it is a song by Coldplay. Life is in Techicolor ii, I think it's called. =/ Rope! Blue rope! lol. Thank you, thank you. Oh, I am beyond lost with that lol. Okay, if it's Japan, then it's because my grandparents from my mom's side live there and I use to go there about every year of my life growing up. If it's China, then I don't know I just guessed. If it's Korea, then its because I love Korean music =] If its Singapore, my friend Tsering has been there and I have been there. But I don't exactly remember. I was about three. Tsering was six. She said the men were pale. lol. If it's Tibet, then because my friend Tsering is from there and she is very true. And if it's not any of those then, I give up lol. It snows here but it's Spring now =] So it's hot. Rainy too. It rained three days straight. Felt like a hurricane.

Haha, my uncle is from Canada and Japan. No, I don't live in Canada. Actually, I wrote in the story once. It's the state where Graham went to college. I eat like I haven't eaten in days lol. That's what I am mostly scared of. lol. And I know in three days. Going to live this last year with Tsering, Brittany and the others like it's the end of time. In case you didn't know, I mostly hang with girls lol. Well, cartoon is kinda a nice way to say it. lol. It's not really a cartoon where little kids could watch. It's just animated. lol. Actually I had fun with ballroom dancing. And its more like using your hips and counting feet. I don't like to be stared at in general, so I kept looking at feet. But when I danced with Brittany, I actually looked at her. I could tell people were offended by that. lol. To top that, I have red-rimmed specs. =]

Addicted- Oh, it's Travis. His mom is Leslie. He'll be fine.

Chally- You are crazy but I encourage the fun crazy. Not the 'crazy' crazy.

Ant- Ain't no mountain high enough. =] That was super random.

Joy- You are officially one cool girl. =]

Jasmin- Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Let's see if I can handle that.

Sorry guys, I have a speech to edit for class so I can't edit this. It's kinda a short chapter anyway. So ignored my poor spelling and grammar and I promise, the next part will be edited. Actually, the next chapter is awesome. =]
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Chapter 29- Denial

How did we get here? That's my question first. How did we get here? Were we all just made from moms and dads. Why couldn't we chose if we wanted that pretty mom and that funny dad with the brains and mate them? What life would be like if there was more of something good and less evil. It's pretty simple. They want this happen. It's like waking up in a strange place with a person you might have seen before. I think they made that into a movie. This is entire process that I am going to right now is denial. I am trying to face that fact that my son isn't here. I don't even want to stay here. I don't think anyone notices that I have left. I mean the world has crumbled. It has before but now, it's against my control.

"You can't always be the hero."

Who had said that? Well, whoever did, I thank you. I just realized that after today, I can't be a hero. I don't know where I am walking. But the memory comes back. I remember my first time fishing trip. I had taken my dog with me. He wasn't an old dog. Only about seven years old and he was ready for anything. He ran along with me. I use to hate those blue rain boots my mom use to make me wear but I wore them that day. I don't know what happened. I think dog treats bag fell into the water. He ran right into the water for it.

"Hey!" I was about to run after him. Anything to catch him but my dad held me back.

I thought dogs were supposed to be swimmers. My dog drowned. The water was too cold and deep for a dog of his size. When they did pull him out of the water, I learned what death was.

"It's okay son. He was just trying to be a hero."

From that moment on, I always wanted to be a hero. But heck, if my son fell into that water and my dad held me back, I would have punched him. I could have saved him. It's part of life. We try our hardest to keep the loves we love around longer. I mean I did that for Leslie. I mean, I dragged by my hair to face my death. I could have fought them off. Okay maybe not. But next time around, I am not letting anyone get in my way of being a hero.

"I thought you said as parents we have to grieve together." Leslie sat next to me on the front porch.

"What's the use?" I shrugged. "I can't always be the hero, Leslie.
The one that has to be your-"

"But you are. Believe it or not. You are. Because you can sit here without crying or being upset. Your mind completely covers the bad stuff and it relishes into something new. You are upset about something different from what I am upset about. You makes us try hard to forget the bad and move on. Have you seen Gracie? She went from being that sad kid you couldn't touch to that kid is running into pools, playing with toys and being a girl for once in her life. She is happy. All because of you. Because you made her believe everything was going to be okay."

She is right.

"And that time, Spinner needed that kidney. What did you do Graham? You wanted him to be happy and to be alive. And because of you, he's a strong man with two beautiful kids. You were his hero."

I guess I was.

"And I mean if my own son couldn't even tell me what's wrong with him, what's bothering him! But he knew you would be his hero. And you are. And right now, what our son needs the most, is a hero. And you wrong. We don't have to grieve together, Graham. We can do that later. But right now, I want you to be the man I know. The one that keeps all living because Graham, you are a wonderwall. Nothing breaks past you."

I hugged her and she sobs in my arms. The tears begin to fall from me too. I don't want to...to see him. I know...he'll be...

"Just maybe you could be the one that saves him." Leslie said, against my chest. And then together, we walk hand in hand back to face our problem.

Everyone looked at us. We joined them and waited for the worst. I don't want to be in denial but...

"It will be okay." Gracie held my hand. "Everything will be okay."

She keeps saying it softly until I relax. The doctors come out with a tired look but a hopeful smile.

"He's fine. Just he's broken both his legs, his neck and we had to fix a stomach bleed. Don't worry, he'll be fine within the next two days. You can't really see him now. He just needs to get cleaned up and put in his room. But you can come by tomorrow morning. He should up, fed and sore."

I am so scared about the future.

"Hey Graham, you said you had something for me?" Leslie climbed into bed with me. "Maybe it will-"

"I rather not give it to you now." I turned over and held my stomach. "Goodnight."

"Graham, can you-"

"Just go to sleep, Leslie! Gosh!" I buried my head under my pillow. I let the tears fall. He was alive. My boy didn't die.

Leslie never did go to sleep. She just kinda sat there. She was trying to ask me if I could I hold her until she slept. But...like always...I am always hurting her.

In the morning, no one really wants to talk. The house is quiet. Even baby Sam knows not to make a peep. Gracie and Darcy are still traumatized by what they saw. Heather can't tell if Sam is hungry or not. Leslie kinda mopes around. Spinner, not really sure what to do, is rather angry.

"You guys suck!" Spinner walked into the living room. "You sit here moping and crying! Do something! Be angry! Have life! Emotion! Heck, you can go see him now. He's alive! He didn't die! You should be crying with joy."

"James, you are crossing the line here." Heather cuddled with Darcy.

"No, I am not! You guys suck! Always fighting! I hate it! Get over it! Just...ugh!" Spinner leaned against the wall. "I mean just get over it! You don't know! You should be happy."

Everyone looked at him.

"What's wrong with you? Don't tell me, you got something to say." I stood up. "I tired of everyone having problems."

"Graham, it isn't a problem. It's anger. I was saved because of you but my parents still walked around depressed. Nothing is wrong! Travis can come home in a few days! We'll be leaving and you guys haven't even done anything yet to patch things up right!"

Leslie wiped her face and left.

"Graham, just do it!"

"I can't!"

"Why not? Because you are so afraid that you'll be like your
father? Your mother?"

"Spinner you are annoying me now!"

"You can't even be a good father heck!"

I wanted to punch him.

"You can't be freaking Superman! Graham, wake up! Each day something bad is going to happen to your kid! One day, Leslie is just not going to want to put up with your bull! Just give up already and do it!"

I looked at my hands. I can't do it.

Travis' legs are held by two child-like braces. His neck in a neck brace. He could barely read his book or talk. He tried hard to smile and look tough. I just sat in the back and watched as everyone worried over him.

"I remember something like this." Leslie's mom smiled. "The day Travis was born. We all crowded around a hospital bed and pat his curly hair."

I wasn't there for his birth. I wasn't there for his first steps. His first words.

"What was his first word?" I asked, catching my breath. Everyone turned to look at me.

"Yellow." Leslie laughed. "The only word he said over and over."

"How did he start to walk?" I asked next.

"He was grabbing on to the couch when he fell and hit his head. That was when I realized I had to put safety cautions on everything in the house." She smiled at me and everyone began to softly disappear.

"His first bike ride?"

"He never learned yet. Ricky had bought him a bike. That's why he went to get the helmet. Oh Graham, we should have seen it. I mean who could have tied that thick piece of string. Why didn't we catch him?" Leslie ran into my arms.

"Leslie, don't cry." I kissed her forehead. "He's fine now."

"Y-y-yeah. I am." Travis smiled from over the neck brace.

"See?" I held her closer as she began to stop crying.

"What were going to give me, Graham? What was Spinner talking about?" She asked repeatedly.

"Don't worry." I said, stroking her hair. "When I get the guts to do it, you'll see it."

And from that moment on, I saw brighter days. I was no longer in denial. I truly wanted to be with Leslie. Forever and ever. We are eternity lovers after all.