Seth's Delight - Healing
Tolerance was a marvel, and I wondered how I could master such a thing, but my thoughts where soon interrupted by a loving coo from a caring woman. "Seth!" she crooned, wrapping her frail arms around me.
SETH
As Lydia visited her parents, I felt the need to visit someone special. She was an elderly woman who had been the caretaker of the house next to Lydia's for quite some time. As a kid, I remember teasing her because of her snow white hair. Even as a thirteen year old, I knew what my mother was doing , and when she was out "working", I would take William over to Cleburne's house to visit with her and each time she would welcome us with open arms. But being what we where, migrants from England, and with her being an African- American woman, we had to go to her room and play. The family that lived there didn't want us around.
In the attic, it was cold, like winter. I remember her giving us coats and making us wear them, even when inside. "I'd hate for you all to get sick." she would say. I smiled at the thought.
It had been five days since I very nearly relived the death of my brother, and five days was a long time, in my opinion. In those five days, Lydia and I had stayed in the heart of New York, dining during the evening and at night, we would stay out until the sun was red on the horizon. I was happy in those five days, but it was time to return home. It was nearly Christmas and it was time that I had visited my old friend again.
I stood on the Fairbanks' porch and knocked on the door, awaiting Cleburne to answer. Instead, Mary Ellen Fairbanks answered with a grim look on her face. "What do you want." she greeted rudely. I took off my hat in her presence and smiled at her, despite her rudeness. " Good morning to you ma'am. I am looking for Cleburne. Is she in?" I asked. She looked me up and down for a moment than sighed and called for the maid. " I'll be right back. Don't even think about coming through this door." she said. I nodded.
Tolerance was a marvel, and I wondered how I could master such a thing, but my thoughts where soon interrupted by a loving coo from a caring woman. " Seth!" she crooned, wrapping her frail arms around me.
I smiled and leaned my chin against her hair that had turned white with her old age. She gently pushed me back and took my hand into her own. " It's been awhile since I've seen you," she said. Cleburne looked at me for a moment. Her eyes seemed to be going , getting lighter and lighter each time I saw her. I knew that sooner or later her sight would be gone and felt slight sense of sadness, though I hid it from her. " I've been busy with Lydia and her family... " I trailed off a little thinking back to the memory that seemed so real.
The older woman made a small noise. "It must be difficult living in the same house as that man. I don't think I could live with it , having to see him every single day." she said , reading me. I nodded and looked away. " I have Lydia and her mother to keep me sane. But there is something I have noticed about him. He is always complaining about nightmares and voices. I think he is losing his mind-"
"It suits him. He should be losing his mind , all the dirt he has done over all these years. All the innocent blood he has spilt. I think there is a special place in Hell for people like him. But as always, may the Lord have mercy on his soul because he is going to need it."
I smiled at Cleburne's attempt at humor. Even when the day was at its darkest hour, she was always there to bring out the light. If it hadn't been for her, I don't think I would be alive today.
"I don't think even God wants to be bothered with him." I said. She gave a little laugh and walked over to the other side of the porch and sat down on a small stool. "That just may be true."
I walked over to her and sat on the ground by her feet and looked up to her. "Cleburne, there's something that's been bothering me lately. I just wanted to know something. Do you think God will ever forgive me for letting William and my mother die?"
The older woman looked shocked for a moment , then bent down and rested her hand on my shoulder. "Seth, you listen to me. You did not kill your family members. Did you drown your brother in a freezing lake? Did you kill your mother with grief? No. Maxwell did, and he is the one to blame. You're mother and your brother loved you. You don't need to ask for forgiveness."
I listened to her and listened well. She was telling the truth. I had no reason to feel as if William's and my mother's death was my fault. I looked up to her and revealed my tears that where burning furiously in my eyes. She looked at me and frowned. "Maybe I was too harsh -"
"No, no. You weren't. You told me the truth. I just wish - I just wish I could go back and save them. I miss them so much."
For a moment or two, we just sat there. The wind was cold against my tear stained face, but nothing could disturb the source of warmth that had rested against my shoulder.
As Lydia visited her parents, I felt the need to visit someone special. She was an elderly woman who had been the caretaker of the house next to Lydia's for quite some time. As a kid, I remember teasing her because of her snow white hair. Even as a thirteen year old, I knew what my mother was doing , and when she was out "working", I would take William over to Cleburne's house to visit with her and each time she would welcome us with open arms. But being what we where, migrants from England, and with her being an African- American woman, we had to go to her room and play. The family that lived there didn't want us around.
In the attic, it was cold, like winter. I remember her giving us coats and making us wear them, even when inside. "I'd hate for you all to get sick." she would say. I smiled at the thought.
It had been five days since I very nearly relived the death of my brother, and five days was a long time, in my opinion. In those five days, Lydia and I had stayed in the heart of New York, dining during the evening and at night, we would stay out until the sun was red on the horizon. I was happy in those five days, but it was time to return home. It was nearly Christmas and it was time that I had visited my old friend again.
I stood on the Fairbanks' porch and knocked on the door, awaiting Cleburne to answer. Instead, Mary Ellen Fairbanks answered with a grim look on her face. "What do you want." she greeted rudely. I took off my hat in her presence and smiled at her, despite her rudeness. " Good morning to you ma'am. I am looking for Cleburne. Is she in?" I asked. She looked me up and down for a moment than sighed and called for the maid. " I'll be right back. Don't even think about coming through this door." she said. I nodded.
Tolerance was a marvel, and I wondered how I could master such a thing, but my thoughts where soon interrupted by a loving coo from a caring woman. " Seth!" she crooned, wrapping her frail arms around me.
I smiled and leaned my chin against her hair that had turned white with her old age. She gently pushed me back and took my hand into her own. " It's been awhile since I've seen you," she said. Cleburne looked at me for a moment. Her eyes seemed to be going , getting lighter and lighter each time I saw her. I knew that sooner or later her sight would be gone and felt slight sense of sadness, though I hid it from her. " I've been busy with Lydia and her family... " I trailed off a little thinking back to the memory that seemed so real.
The older woman made a small noise. "It must be difficult living in the same house as that man. I don't think I could live with it , having to see him every single day." she said , reading me. I nodded and looked away. " I have Lydia and her mother to keep me sane. But there is something I have noticed about him. He is always complaining about nightmares and voices. I think he is losing his mind-"
"It suits him. He should be losing his mind , all the dirt he has done over all these years. All the innocent blood he has spilt. I think there is a special place in Hell for people like him. But as always, may the Lord have mercy on his soul because he is going to need it."
I smiled at Cleburne's attempt at humor. Even when the day was at its darkest hour, she was always there to bring out the light. If it hadn't been for her, I don't think I would be alive today.
"I don't think even God wants to be bothered with him." I said. She gave a little laugh and walked over to the other side of the porch and sat down on a small stool. "That just may be true."
I walked over to her and sat on the ground by her feet and looked up to her. "Cleburne, there's something that's been bothering me lately. I just wanted to know something. Do you think God will ever forgive me for letting William and my mother die?"
The older woman looked shocked for a moment , then bent down and rested her hand on my shoulder. "Seth, you listen to me. You did not kill your family members. Did you drown your brother in a freezing lake? Did you kill your mother with grief? No. Maxwell did, and he is the one to blame. You're mother and your brother loved you. You don't need to ask for forgiveness."
I listened to her and listened well. She was telling the truth. I had no reason to feel as if William's and my mother's death was my fault. I looked up to her and revealed my tears that where burning furiously in my eyes. She looked at me and frowned. "Maybe I was too harsh -"
"No, no. You weren't. You told me the truth. I just wish - I just wish I could go back and save them. I miss them so much."
For a moment or two, we just sat there. The wind was cold against my tear stained face, but nothing could disturb the source of warmth that had rested against my shoulder.
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