Seth's Delight - Changes

That night I sat on my bed , staring at the wall. The days events had drained me, and the sensation of Seth's tongue tasting my neck was still crawling over my skin. I had scrubbed my skin clean in the washtub, but the feeling was still there. My face redden at the thought of him doing more; I put it out of my mind and thought about other things. In less than a few months , there was going to be a wedding. If I knew my mother and her love for showing off , she would invite all the members of out family just to show that I was marrying a legatee. I didn't want to marry him, I made that clear to him. At the college , whenever I walk by with my books shoved up against my chest and my eyes lowered , I would hear him following me , breathing shallow breaths down my neck. I would hear him whispering my name over and over in class , saying the most obscene things I had ever heard. Now I was going to marry him. I looked away from the wall and out into the New York night , smelling the city from my open window , the one just above my bed. From the window , I could see into the neighbors houses. On the very top floor, there was a woman with gray hair and dark skin sweeping a floor , her back was bent and I guessed it was from a lifetime of hard labor. I sighed looking out of the window, still staring up at her. I wondered if - as a young girl about my age- did she live in a house like this and dream of things , such as a life as an independent woman, a woman that could do what she wanted.

I wondered if she was forced into a marriage and somehow, came to be a maid. I wondered aloud and to my surprise she looked down from the window at me and smiled. " Curios child , aren't you?" She had a southern accent , an interesting drawl. I nodded. " Yes ma'am , I am." The woman laughed a hearty laugh, still smiling, her teeth white against her dark skin. " You are a special girl , Lydia." she said suddenly , putting the broom down and leaning out of the window. My eyes grew big. How did she know me? " Uh... ma'am , I don't remember telling you my name." My voice was shaking. She gave a small laugh and leaned even farther. " No , you didn't tell me your name Lydia. Seth did." I gasped and shut the window closed, closing the curtains over it. My breathing came in sharp short gasps, and I held the covers tight to my chest , over my nightgown. I could still hear the woman talking through the window. " Don't be afraid Lydia. Seth won't hurt you. He's just fond of you , that's all. You ain't gotta fret not one bit. He'll take real good care of you. He told me so." I threw the blankets off and ran out into the hallway and down the stairs , then too my mother's room. My father was gone , somewhere at the bar or one of those Jazz clubs. Mother was still in the chair , knitting. " Mama ," I said , recalling what I used to call her in my childhood. My heart was beating fast against my ribs and I sank down to her feet and wrapped my arms about her legs. She saw the tears streaming down my face and put down her knitting and began to pet my hair. " What's wrong ," she asked.

" I talked to the woman next door. She knew my name and I didn't even tell her and mother , I'm so scared-"
" Ah you must have talked to Cleburne. That old woman , always up their in that lonely room of hers. You know , I've been talking to her ever since her husband died. Her employers don't say much to her. She probably just wanted to you know she knew, that's all." She said , lightly. She looked thoughtful for a few seconds and I kept the part about her saying Seth told her my name, to myself. " Oh , she just scared me a bit." I whispered. My mother was silent a while , then she took my hand and made me face her , looking me directly in the eye. "Lydia", she sighed , blinking rapidly like she always did when she was trying to get a point across, "there is no need to fell anxious about this wedding. It maybe weeks or even months away , at the very least." She smiled and tears came to her big , green eyes , and she inhaled sharply. " Soon you'll be married and then you'll be a mother , like you have always wanted. I know , it's what I've always wanted for you. And that man Seth. He seems so wonderful and loving , and I doubt you'll get bored with him anytime soon..." She trailed off and buried her face into a lace napkin and began to weep . I let my arms drape around my mother and I held her, , pushing my cheek to hers , crying with her , but for entirely different reasons. An hour later after all tears where shed and mother was off to be d, I went back to my own room , locking the window and the door . I put the key underneath my pillow and stripped out of the nightgown and felt the cold air in the room blow around me , as if a ghost where present , but it was just the November air , nearly winter. I held the blankets tight around my body and shut my eyes , falling asleep.

The next morning I woke to my mother bringing me gifts of new stockings and a garter and some of the many facial creams she dubbed too cheap to use. " So you don't start aging before your wedding ," she said as she set the gifts down and left the room . I sighed and rolled over and nearly fell out of the bed when I heard his voice. Seth's voice. I grew livid . " Oh , I just wanted to take Lydia on a drive through the city today. Maybe we could go see a play or perhaps go on a stroll through the park." My mother laughed , a high pitch giggle. I slammed my bedroom door and opened the bathroom door , pouring hot water into the tub. I added a little lavender oil and rose oil and sank down into the deep tub and sighed. It felt comfortable to sit down in the tub and relax. I watched the oil move throughout the water as I waved my hand around. Suddenly , my calm was shattered. "Lydia," my mother called . She opened my bedroom door and closed it behind her , to my relief. " Lydia?"

" I'm in here , in the tub." I said , lazily. She opened the bathroom door and grabbed a towel off the rack and hoisted me up out of the tub. " My God! Your man is out there waiting to have a fun day with you and here you are taking your sweet time! Hurry , get your clothes on , now !" I sighed impatiently as she threw me around in the closet , picking out the most revealing dress I had ever seen and the most hideous flat shoes. She dressed me as she did when I was a child , with impatience , but care. She made sure the dress remained without wrinkles and no scuff marks where on my shoes. I nearly cried when she twisted my hair into a painful knot at the nape of my neck and painted my lips red and my eyelids a dusky black. I knew I looked like something horrible and didn't even look at the mirror on my way out. " Good morning , Lydia." I looked at Seth for a moment , surveying his clothes which were all new and clean. He smiled as he flicked a black strand of hair out of his eyes. My mother held her breath. I sighed. " Good morning Seth." He continued to smile as he took my arm and led me out to his car, opening the door for me , as if he where a gentleman. I undid the knot at the back of my neck and my hair came away , wavy and flowing past my shoulders. Seth hadn't said and word a neither would I. " You know Lydia , you forgot your coat." He motioned toward the backseat . " I'd like very much to sit in the back seat." I said, climbing over the seat. Grabbing the back of my dress , he pushed me down into his lap , and once again , he was putting his mouth close to my neck and ears , breathing his warm breath . " No , no Lydia. I meant look back there. I don't want you to sit back there, I want you to stay close to me ," he crooned. I wrenched free of his grip and looked over the seat, and there was a box with a gold covering over it , with a tag that had my name written on it. It read : For Lydia , from your love - Seth.

I looked back at him and he urged me forward with a sweep of his hand. I picked up the package , which weighed nearly as much as I did and undid the wrapping carefully , then I opened it and gasped. It was the most beautiful things I had ever seen. It was a black , floor length, fur coat. It looked as if it was made in some far away country and smelled like it was just made. I gasped and for the first time really smiled at Seth. " Thank you very much for the gift." I said , quietly. His smile grew wider and he touched my arm. " I'm glad you like it. I guess it's my way of apologizing for acting to .... inappropriate yesterday. I didn't say anything , just draped the beautiful coat over my shoulders and felt its warmth encase me. Not a word passed between us as Seth drove over a long bridge and not even when he stopped at the river's side , a threw a blanket over the cold bare ground and took out a picnic basket from the trunk. " Such a beautiful day," he sang monotonously, laying down on blanket. He stared at me as I stood there , starring that the picnic basket. My stomach growled. " Come, sit down , next to me, I mean , if you want to , you don't have to." I sat down a little ways away from him and he still smiled , content that I was there. For a moment , neither of us moved , and I was afraid he was going to pounce on me and violate me. He didn't , he just scooted a little closer , still staring. " I can't wait for our wedding." he said. When I glared at him , he looked down and then away , across the river . The water was moving at a steady pace and the ducks where quacking , despite it being nearly winter. " Did you ever talk to the maid next door," I asked. He jumped at the word maid and then he nodded. " I told her to tell you that I was going to take care of you , not to be afraid of me. At the college , I just wanted to get your attention , but , of course , that was the wrong way." He gave a little laugh and the wind blew , cool , not too cold. I smiled. " I was afraid of you , you know. I thought you were going to hurt me. But I guess you just have a strange way of declaring ..." I couldn't say the word. He nodded. " Yes, I guess so. Would you like to eat now?" Seth asked. I smiled at him and nodded , paying attention to the ducks on the water. They had stopped floating and were watching us. " Speaking of strange -"
"Hush." he whispered. He was so close to me now , with a piece of cake in his hand , looking at my mouth. "Eat," he commanded , shoving the cake into my mouth. I glared at him and began to chew and he laughed , eating a cake of his own. " Isn't that sweet," he asked. I nodded, It was the best cake I had ever had , sweet , but not so sweet that it made me dizzy. Seth came out his pocket with a canteen and handed it to me. " What is that?" I inquired. He shrugged his shoulders and took a sip. " Ask the canteen.' I snatched the flask from his hand and downed the entire thing. It was water with a little bit of lemon. " Better than alcohol ." he said. I laughed and handed him back his flask and he took it. " You know , my mother likes you more than I do."

Seth looked at me , then rolled his eyes. " She held her breath when you flicked that hair from your eyes. I thought she was going to faint. Maybe you should marry her."
" I can't , she's already married. Plus , I have eyes for you and only you." He leaned in close and I held my breath. He whispered something about taking me to paradise once we where married , but I paid no attention. The only thing I paid attention to ,was his lips. They were full and not so pale , but a faint reddish color. Then they were pushed gently on mine. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as we lay there on the blanket , his tongue tangled with mine , his weight on me. For a moment , I couldn't breathe . I whimpered. I felt something hot coiling in my belly , then it dispersed throughout my body and caught fire to my nether regions and I gasped at a feeling I had never felt before. Then I realized , it was want ; Lust. I pushed him off and he let out a resigned sigh and threw up his hands. " Sorry , I know , I'm not going to touch-"

"No it's not that it's just that I , I don't think I'll be able to control myself. Please take me back to my mother and father before we go too far. Please." Seth's face was still and calm, but his eyes were feverish and burned bright. He'd felt it too. I stood up smoothing my skirt back down and pulled my coat tighter around me , but not for warmth. I was already too hot. I sat in the passenger's side and he closed my door for me , then his own and we drove away. On the drive back home we spoke about how much we had enjoyed today and as soon as we where in front of our house my parents where already outside , looking fresh and excited. " So , when do you want to have the wedding?" My father asked. Seth smiled a big , sparkling smile and said , " I've already checked with Grand Hall. The closest opening they have is next month , on the sixteenth. We'll be married just in time for Christmas!" My mother clapped for joy and father smiled, the green flashing in his eyes again. I sighed. " Just in time to be married for the New Year. I said , smiling. Seth took my hand and squeezed it and I smiled and slid me thumb over his wrist. I wasn't afraid of him , I liked him. Maybe I didn't see it in the beginning , but I think I was beginning to like him more than I loved my own parents.