Self-esteem: What are You Worth?

Low self-esteem seems to effect much of the population. Often it is to be found with its cousin low self-worth. Low self-esteem can be defined as having a low opinion of oneself, either consciously or unconsciously. Suffers will often have feelings of worthlessness and that they get the poor quality of life that they deserve. In addition to the emotional symptoms suffers will often exhibit physical symptoms, being socially withdrawn, or often averting their gaze from the person they are talking to.

People with low self-esteem often report low motivation, and not having any energy, perhaps feeling depressed even suicidal. Relationships can be difficult especially if the relationship is an abusive one, because the sufferer can feel that they deserve nothing better.

It is not uncommon when we have low self-esteem to judge ourselves (unfairly) by what we perceive to be others standards. I didn't go to church so people will think I am a bad Christian. I put on two pounds last week; everyone can see me for the pig that I am. In reality these 'others' have not given it a second thought or indeed might be worried because you were always at church. But to our poor self-esteem it can only be because others see through the facade to the terrible person we truly are, even though there is no basis for this to be true.

Can Anything Be Done?
You can't argue self-esteem higher, indeed people with low self-esteem are often some of the population surest about their worth (low). It is better to be honest and notice both the good and the bad. It is important to hear both the good and the bad things going on. Also you should challenge those assumptions you make about what other people are thinking - how do you know what they are thinking?

Often with low self-esteem there is a tendency to take less care of yourself - perhaps eating too much or too little, perhaps looking after your body (shaving, brushing teeth, washing hair and so forth). It is worth trying to do some of these, they improve your health and they make you more attractive to others.

It can be difficult to achieve things, we always feel that we will fail, but by carefully selecting things that we want to do and breaking it down into small steps we can see some success. Take Marjory, she was so shy she could not even face going out in the street. So her first goal was just to think about being in the street, then as those feelings began to be less frightening, she looked out the window, then next went to her door, then stood outside for a minute. Each time she was challenging herself to go a little further. With her counselor's help Marjory is now able to go out and while still a little uncomfortable in big crowds, has shrugged off her prison and feels better about herself for defeating the fear.

Perhaps you have an interest, perhaps even a long dormant one, could you revive it even for a short time to give sense of purpose to your life. As well as a welcome diversion, it provides a handy topic for conversation, when you don't know what to say.

Often it is helpful to have someone we can trust on who will be honest with us as we try to value ourselves more. Counseling in Glasgow, I know that a lot of clients find help from all sorts of places, partners, family, friends and many feel that a counselor (as an independent witness) is the way to go.

In Summary
If you feel you suffer from low self-esteem, or you would like to help someone

• Don't try to argue yourself, better try to be honest about your successes and failures, celebrating the former and learning from the latter.
• Look for support, from someone you can trust, or a counselor if there is no one in your life and be honest about how it makes you feel and what you need as support.
• Try to find a sense of purpose, however small and start to work towards it by setting yourself measurable goals.
• It is also important to look after yourself while you are feeling like this. So try to eat healthily and look after yourself physically.

Others have recovered from this before you and you too can, I wish you the best of luck in your journey.