Self-centered People

If we could help it, we would never really share our things. We wouldn't really want to think about others and sacrifice something that could've been all ours. But we still do that. Why? Cause we live in a society and societal rules and nomenclature demand that we share, care, empathize and such and such. So we learn that these are all positive traits and that a good human being is one who has a profusion of these positive qualities. Of course, there are times when we show traits of negative behavior - in the way of selfish behavioral patterns. But these do not become a part of our behavior and merely limit themselves to select occasions. And then there are self-centered people who do not exhibit any of the above mentioned positive traits and thereby affect other people's adjustment in society. Dealing with self-centered people can get tough if one does not know how to go about it. In extremes, this can turn out to be a personality disorder and can be very draining for those who deal with it. In the article that follows, we will look through the traits that form the basis of the 'selfish people' and how to deal with them effectively.

Self-centered Traits

The following are some of the most common traits of a self-centered person. These should help you identify what a self-centered person is all about. If you look closely, you will find that they share a lot of their traits with a person suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder.

• They put their happiness before anyone else.
• They do not show feelings of compassion, sympathy or understanding towards others or society.
• They tend to abandon someone for satisfying their own needs.
• They usually make for fair weather friends.
• They need to be constantly praised and their actions need to be met with approval at all times.
• They are indifferent to many things in society and people.
• Do not encourage others to excel in any field.
• Pull people down with actions and harsh words.
• They have a huge ego and they don't usually acknowledge their mistakes and rarely ever apologize for the same.
• Are usually materialistic because inanimate objects can be controlled and manipulated.
• They need to be in the limelight and the center of attention all the time.
• They do not listen and exhibit several traits of selfishness.
• In a conversation, they often cut someone's point to put forth their own.
• They do not contribute in group activities or projects that involve team work.
• They often brag about their achievements and have a tendency to make a major deal about something that might be quite minor to begin with.
• They are very, very possessive about their objects and the people around them and do not like to share anything.
• They care more about their self image than anything else and want the world to revolve around them. In that way there is always a lack of empathy in relationships.

People who are self-centered share a lot of their traits with narcissistic behavior traits and therefore dealing with these kinds of people needs to be managed in the same way that narcissists are dealt with.

How to Deal with Self-centered People

It's needless to say that living with a person(s) who is self-centered is not easy and can take a toll on the way a person interacts with others. How is one supposed to deal with this kind of behavior trait then? Here are some ways that exhibit how to go about it.

• When interacting with self-centered people, try to do so in a group so that there are others present around and there is a chance to get your point across as well. This will prevent him/her from making it all about himself/herself.
• Try and look for breaks in speech to include your points of view.
• If possible, try and understand why they exhibit such behavior patterns. When you find their underlying needs for that behavior, or certain ways in which they stop that behavior, then supplying them with that will prevent the behavior pattern. Like a genuine praise might stop them from trying to hoard the attention further.
• Do not lose your temper or peace of mind by getting affected with what they do. Try and remain focused on your life.
• You can try and speak to them and tell them how their behavior affects you. It could help. But it has been seen that a self-centered person cannot really be expected to change.
• Do not give in to their demands at the cost of your own. Do not let them dominate you. This will only encourage them to be more and more selfish. Try and put your foot down and as hard as it may be, try and put your needs out there as well.

Dealing with self-centered people is not as easy it might seem. You need to be focused and not lose your cool. That is why many people find it easier to simply avoid or limit being in the company of people who are self-centered. Though it definitely does not hurt to try to talk to them, do not let them suck into your peace and quiet.