Seemly Forbidden [Chapter 9- Time Together]

Journal Entry 2
August 3, 1890

I can’t stay away from her, I just can’t. She’s not helping either, she won’t leave me alone. I want to get away, I really do. It’s just hard. I need help, before anyone finds out. This affair cannot go any further. I feel disgusted with myself, it needs to get off my chest.

It was almost found out the other day, I know that some people are suspicious. My father already has spoken to me about how much time I spend with this girl. I, too, think I spend way to much time with her. But it’s like an obsession, one that I cannot be without.

I feel sick and in my head, I know what is the right thing to do. But, I just can’t seem to pull myself through it. I’m sure that people know, I can’t help but think that. People must know, somehow it… It has to of slipped somehow. People seem to treat me differently.

This is all wrong. It’s not right.

I don’t have much time to right, I’m needed.

I hope, pray, that nothing happens.

I pray.

* * * * *

The doorbell rang to tell me someone at that door, and that person was probably going to be Blaze. I grabbed the bowl of fruit that I had taken out, to keep myself entertained while I waited, and I put it in the fridge. Cleaning my hands off on my shorts, I walked through the kitchen to the front door. I took the doorknob and twisted it, opening the door up.

Yep, it was Blaze. He was standing there looking like he felt out of place. His hands were stuffed into his pockets, while he was looking off to the side like he was studying the neighborhood. I had to say, this Blaze guy was one odd fellow…. In a good way.

"Hey," I greeted him, holding the door open a bit wider for him to enter. I was slipping on my shoes, not wanting to stay inside for the entire day. It was nice out, well nice out for this town, but there was no need to be cooped up all day. Sometimes I wished I lived in a much sunnier place, but I don’t think I would be able to leave.

Blaze turned towards him, his hands leaving his pockets and nodded, "hello," he spoke with a wide grin.

His smile was contagious, for I soon found myself smiling back and stepped out onto the porch with him. Our plans were unknown, but that’s how I liked it best. I always preferred doing nothing till we find out what’s something better to do.

To save us from the quiet awkwardness, I immediately jumped into my questions to get to know the guy better. He was one of the new students that attending my school and new kids rarely came. My town was small, so everyone is able to point out the new kids because we already know everyone else. Since he was new, I had a whole lot of questions to ask him.

Hopping down the steps, we cut through the grass towards the sidewalk, "so, Blaze, we’re did you live before you came here?" I asked him, fixing my ponytail.

He paused for awhile, seeming like he had to think for this question. I guess he was probably just thinking back to his life when he live there, having to leave all his friends behind to come here.

"Missouri," he stated finally, stuffing his hands back into his pockets.

"Really? That’s cool, I guess. I’ve never been to Missouri," I told him, dropping my hands, starting to feel a bit more comfortable being around him, "Why did you guys move here?"

Blaze shrugged, his fingers running through his red or brown hair. I haven’t yet decided what color it resembles most, "My dad got a job."

"A job?" Through my head, I tried to think of all the possible places where his dad could’ve started working at. There isn’t much here, perhaps it was in a town nearby. I didn’t ask any more about the job. Talking about jobs was such a lame topic.

"Yeah," he seemed like he thought that was a lame topic too, "I like it here better, wasn’t much to do there."

I laughed, thinking that there wasn’t much to do here either. There was the swimming pool that was only open on sunny days, so it was a bit to cold to go swimming right now. We did have a movie theater, but it only plays one movie on Friday and Saturday nights, so that was a possible suggestion to bring up later.

"Not like there’s anything to do here, right?" He said, giving me one of his smiles.

"Yeah, there isn’t really anything to do here… I was just going to tell you that and ask if you were crazy."

He laughed, nodding, "yeah, I just like this place better."

"It’ll get boring for you after awhile, trust me."

"Probably, that happens to every place you move. People can be living in New York City and be complaining about how boring it is."

I nodded, picturing it, "I’d like to see someone there try to live in a small town like this. That’d be a sight."

I can picture it already. A girl that lived her entire life in a big city, always going shopping and use to tall big buildings and high traffic, then they come to move to a town like this. A town where there is barely a car on the road, that you normally don’t have to look both ways to cross, and you have to drive forty-five minutes to get to the closest mall. That would probably bring the complaining to an extreme.

"Yeah, it would," Blaze agreed with me.