Secrets of His World - Chapter 16

Emily closed the door behind her. She turned to face Clare, hoping her anger and fear didn’t show on her face. Clare may not have done anything to actually harm her, but there was no doubt that she was capable of things like that.

"Hi," Emily mumbled.

"Hey…"

"You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah. I did…" Clare cleared her throat, "I do."

"About…?"

"I wanted to say that I’m…" she trailed off.

"You’re… ?" Emily pushed.

"Sorry," Clare admitted.

"Oh."

Emily had imagined that Clare would yell at her, call her name, do anything except for… apologize? Why would she go through all the trouble of trying to split Damien and Emily up, and then apologize?

"Yeah. I know it was wrong of me to threaten you and say all that stupid stuff I said at the cabin. I didn’t mean any of, as I’m sure you’re aware of. I was kind of jealous that Damien liked you more than me. All my life I’ve never had anyone. Guy wise, I mean. I’ve always been left out. I just wanted someone that was as gorgeous as Damien to want me. You know?" she said, paying no attention to the tear that rolled down her cheek.

Emily sighed.

"I know… I understand, surprisingly. If you want to talk about, I’m here. I’ve got all the time in the world. And I know how it feels to hold everything in because you feel like you have no one to tell. I had no one there for me, but I’m here for you," Emily told her earnestly.

Clare sighed this time. Emily meant what she said. She knew how it felt to feel so alone, like you weren’t capable of being loved by a guy; especially the guy that you loved more than anyone in the world. And it killed her more and more each day to never have anyone to tell. Even after everything Clare had done and said to her, she’d still be there for her to tell everything to if she chose to tell her anything.

"I just want someone to love me for me. I want someone who’ll love me like Damien loves you. I don’t know what I’m looking for, but maybe I’m just looking too hard. Or maybe I’m just looking for something that doesn’t exist! All I’ve ever wanted is someone I could tell everything to, without being judged by them. But honestly, I just want to quit being afraid to fall in love with someone. The right someone, just as soon as I can find him. That’s why I didn’t go totally all out with Damien," she said, taking a breath before finishing.

Emily listened contently the whole time. Knowing exactly how she felt. After all, Emily had felt the exact same way once.

"Because it was just an act, to see if I could get him to fall in love with me. But I couldn’t because he was too much in love with you, and I was afraid to let myself fall for someone who was in love with someone else. I don’t want to get hurt, Emily. I just don’t. I’m not saying that anyone I meet could hurt me. I’m just saying that when I fall in love, I want it to be with someone I feel pretty secure about," she finally sobbed out.

"I know. I know exactly how you feel," Emily told her.

"You couldn’t possibly know how I feel! You have Damien. He’s been in love with you for so long that it surprised himself when he found out."

"Oh, believe me, I do know how you feel. I always thought Damien was gay. But that’s because he put himself out there to be gay. He even dated a few guys. And the whole time, I was so in love with him that it literally hurt. I didn’t know if he felt the same way, but I always assumed he didn’t because he liked guys. I always thought that he and I could never be together. And it hurt to be that much in love with him and think that he didn’t feel the same way," Emily said, her voice breaking a little.

Both of the girls were quiet for a while. Neither knew what to say. But finally, Clare spoke.

"I need to go. I just came to apologize. For everything. And I hope you forgive me…"

"Of course. Like I said: I know how you feel. I’ve been there before."

"Yeah… Well, thanks for forgiving me. I guess I’ll see you around or something," Clare said as she turned to leave.

"Hey! If you ever need someone to talk to, I’ll be here," Emily called to her.

"Okay." Clare smiled over her shoulder before telling Emily, "By the way, congratulations on the baby."

"Thanks," Emily said, smiling back at her.

Emily opened the door to the house, finding Damien sitting on the steps in front of her. He looked up as she entered. She gave him a confused look.

"What did she want?"

"She… apologized?" Emily said, almost as if she didn’t believe the conversation she and Clare had just had.

"Apologized for what?"

"For everything."

Damien didn’t comment about that. In fact, he didn’t say anything after that. Emily just kept thinking about Clare and the conversation they had had.

If anyone would be good to Clare, it would be Jason. Right? He was nice. Charming, funny, handsome…

Emily, ignoring the stare Damien was giving her, ran from the front door to the kitchen. She grabbed the phone and continued her run until she was outside. Then, she punched Jason’s number in, hoping he’d pick up.

Emily waiting patiently as the phone kept ringing. She was going to get a hold of Jason no matter what it took. She had to! It was for Clare’s sake. And to make sure that she didn’t try anything to split Damien and herself up, although she was pretty sure that Clare wouldn’t try that anymore.

Finally, after nine rings, someone answered the phone.

"Hello," came a woman’s voice.

"Um, hi. This is Emily Lovett. Is Jason around? I need to speak with him," Emily told her.

"Actually, he is. But he can’t come to the phone right now. You can come over, though. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind seeing someone for a change. He’s been… down a little here lately."

Emily sighed. Whatever it takes, she told herself.

"Alright. I’ll be over in a few," she said.

"Kay."

"Oh! And don’t mention my coming over? Please."

"No problem, sweetie," the woman on the other end said before hanging up.

Emily pushed the end button on the phone. For a moment, she almost considered not going. The one thing she said would ever come between her and Damien would be either Clare or Jason. Clare was out of the picture now. The only one Emily was worried about… was Jason, of course.

Still, she sucked in a deep breath, went back inside, grabbed her keys, and headed for the door.

Damien stopped her on his way out. She just smiled at him and handed him the house phone. If he wanted to know where she was going, he just had to push redial on the phone. He knew Jason’s number.

But he didn’t do any such thing. He let Emily leave without saying anything to her. And Emily was thankful for that. She didn’t need, nor want, any questions. She just wanted to do something nice for someone.

Well, while also reassuring herself that Clare and Jason wouldn’t come between Emily and Damien again. No matter what.

But really, Jason hadn’t been around. He hadn’t called Emily. He hadn’t even came over to see if she was still alive! For all he knew, she could have been dead.

And really? Clare was beautiful, sure. Jason liked beautiful girls. What guy didn’t? But would he really go out with Clare?

"Damn it! Stop!" Emily shouted at herself.

She was momentarily surprised by her outburst. But she was talking herself out of going to Jason’s. And she needed to go.

Finally though, after battling with herself, she pulled up in Jason’s driveway. She sat there, not moving, not turning the car off, not doing anything but staring. She wondered if she could do this. And honestly, could she?

She didn’t have time to think about it all when someone knocked on her car window. It was Jason, of course.

Emily rolled her window down, trying to think of a way to say what she had come to say.

"Come to visit?" he asked.

"No. I came here to talk. Just to talk," Emily told him.

"Then get out and come in."

Emily thought about it for a moment. Could she really go in? Talk to him about Clare? And even so, would he agree to see Clare? Could he, and would he, be the one guy that could change Clare’s mind about how she feels?

There’s only one way to find out, she told herself as she turned the car off and got out.
******
I know it's short and all, but it's really all I could come up with. I have writers block bad with this story. I think it's because I didn't have the plot written down, and I'm just writing this off the top of my head. But I can assure you all that I have another story that I'm going to start right after this one, and it's going to be 10 times better. And I shouldn't take as long to get the chapters posted because I have it all wrote down all ready. And I think I might end this story in the next chapter.
I'm kind of sad about it though, mostly because I don't feel really good about the last chapter and this one, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see how the next one plays out. :)
Thanks for reading, and for commenting on my last chapter :D

By the way: I was reading a story on here that totally amazed me. It's one of the best stories I've ever read in my entire LIFE. Lol. You guys should go read it. It's "I Love Him, I Love Him Not"
It's great xD
And my friend has a pretty good story on here also. Her story is "The Dark World"
:D
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll post the next one as soon as I can. I'm starting on it tonight! Promise. :)