Secret Smile

Everything seems fine
On the tough outer shell
Inside I am mangled
The one thing that brightens your day
And cages mine
Is the secret smile lit upon my face
The ache in my heart has got to stop
I am confused

I am broken
I am going through life in a daze
Every way I turn is a dead end
All I can do is smile at the little moments that make sense
This is come to a halt
The fog is too thick
The road ahead is uncertain
I am numb

I am falling
I can't see a thing
I close my eyes
All is frozen
But I smile
Your voice, it lingers
In every corner of my mind
I laughed

I relaxed
I fell into you
You knocked
I slammed the door
But I smile
I look into your eyes
And see nothing of what used to be
Your eyes

Like well guarded doors
They ignore me
They awaken me
They give me reason
They are an uncharted place
I long for the bond
But I hid my intentions
And I smile

You lead me down the wrong road
I want to get off
I begged you to understand
You said yes
A stranger said no
I exploded
You walked away
You did as you were told

But I smile
The pressure, it is too much
The fact that your inflicting it
Makes it worse
I am going deeper
I can't see the surface
I am drowning in my pain
A light
Hope
Oh wait, it's you
But I smile
Lost in a different time

This body doesn't suite me
This heart so fragile
Not yet cared for
love
Familiarity
All is lost
But I smile
Closer and closer

Faint back to start
Testing limits
Setting boundaries
Creeping closer
Propelled by longing
Yet so far way
Restrained by fear
But I smile

My past, it follows
In the darkest of alleys
Tainting my soul
Making me dirty
I am unforgiven
I am only human
Time not caught up
I am...

But I smile
Come, follow
Down a foreign ally
Dark and untraveled
I run
You chase
Oblivious of my intentions
Fork

Which way
Undecided
I lose the sound of your footsteps
I breakdown
but I smile
I can't bear it,
I can't listen
To hear tears in your voice

I can't take it bake
I can't fix it
Won't fix it
Guilt
Solution...
I can
But I smile
You pull me along

Down an unstable ridge
Wait, stop
A straggler is hurt
I pull back
I cry out
But your hold on me is a caress
I am helpless
You force me forward

All I can do
Is look back at their weeping eyes
Their eyes
Mirroring my betrayal
But I smile
My life it pains
I don't know how much more I can take
This is not me
I am not you
How many more lies can I hide in a smile?