Seasons Change
Happiness. What is happiness? That is something that I, a callow student, know nothing of. I know of jealousy, hate, and sadness, but nothing of happiness. Happiness. This should be easy. I was assigned to write an essay about it. It should be like any other essay.
That was then, and this is now. I could write pages and pages on happiness now. You want to know how I changed? It all started when my father sent me away on a mission with our church. It was very awkward at first because I had not been to church in a long time. That's when one of the sweetest of my contemporaries that I will ever meet came into my life. It was easy, I could spot her for a mile away. Red hair, green eyes, and very white skin.
"Hi, my name is Autumn. What is your name?"
"Hey, the name's Summer."
And that's when we hit it off. We both had been named after seasons. She told me that this trip was on her bucket list. I thought that was weird at first, but after I got to know her later, I found out that the trip meant everything in the world to her. As we helped the little kids figure out the system, which I, myself, was still learning, we began to become inseparable. I told her about my life and how much I hated it. I went on to tell her how miserable I was. She always had a solemn look on her face when I told her these things. She told me that she loved her life, but her life didn't love her. I didn't understand it at first, but she continued to tell me that she has a brother who is very close to her and a sister that can't even stand to look at her. I was going to ask her why, but she interrupted me to say that she had a tumor. It is too bit to have it surgically taken out, but she is too sick with other complications that won't allow her to go into chemotherapy. At that moment, my heart felt like someone ripped it out and squeezed it as hard as they could. How could someone so beautiful and so grateful for life have something so terrible that her own sister can't even stand to look at her?
"I am so... so sorry, I wish I could do something..."
"But you can't do anything, and I'm okay with it. I have accepted that this life, and this world isn't ready for me and they're kicking me out. I have tried to fight back, but have found that it is a lost cause. I am okay with the fact that I'm going to die. I have thought that if I can't live, then I will do everything I can to make sure someone else won't have to die. That's why I'm an organ donor."
She had told me her deepest secret. She had trusted me. I couldn't stop crying, and yet she looked at me and I could see in her eyes, the peace, and the happiness that was within her. I couldn't believe... actually I didn't want to believe that she was doomed, and yet she is still happy. The trip was almost over, and we would never see each other again, except in church. So, after that, I went to church all the time trying to look for her, but I could never find her. Then, one time I saw her parents. They looked like a mess. I walked over to talk to them just to find out that Autumn was sick and that she only had a few days left. I asked them immediately to take me to her. They agreed and we were off. When I got there, I saw all the tubes and all the equipment that beeped. I choked down the sob that wanted so badly to come out. As I stepped into the room, I can still remember the fear and sadness that swept over me.
"Hey you, how ya doing?" I asked in a shaky voice.
"Well the way it looks, not so good, but the way I feel, great and happy," she said with total confidence.
"Oh well..."
"So how is everything in your life?" she asked, knowing that I was uncomfortable and not knowing what to say.
"Well...., I didn't want to say that I hated my life knowing that she wouldn't have hers much longer, I am doing good. I've been looking for you in church."
"Yeah, I've been wanting to go. How is Father Wayne?"
"Oh, he's good. He asked me to help him start a youth group for the younger kids."
I couldn't stand this much longer. My heart ached for her and I couldn't stand the awkward conversation. Thankfully though, a nurse walked in to check on her. I took advantage of the moment and told her that I had to go to the bathroom. As I walked out, I still remember feeling like the world was crashing down on me. I walked to the bathroom and started bawling. When I got back into the room, she was laying there waiting for me to come and sit in the chair next to her. As I looked down at her, I could remember back to all the times we had spent together. All the laughs we shared, and to see her like this just tore me apart. I was lost in thought when she suddenly grabbed my hand and said something that I'll never forget.
"Hey what's the matter?" I asked worried.
"Nothing, I just feel really happy right now. Knowing that you're here and all."
Of course. Happiness, the one thing in life I couldn't figure out. Why was life so hard? Why do young, innocent people like Autumn have to die? I can't and will never be able to figure out why.
"Hey Summer."
"Yeah Autumn."
"I'm glad I met you."
"I'm glad I net you, too."
"I've done a good thing for you."
"Oh yeah, what's that?"
"I've shown you what happiness is."
And with that she was gone. I started crying uncontrollably. I ran out of that hospital. I ran down the street. I just ran. When I reached a small park, I couldn't believe it. I was being cursed. I would never have happiness in my life. I looked around and saw all the happy faces. They made me mad. A young girl has just died and they're carrying on with their normal, happy lives, and I would never know that feeling. Then, I thought back to what Autumn said, and what kind of friendship we had shared together. Right then I knew. She was right, I now know what happiness is.
It's been six years, and I still remember what Autumn had taught me about happiness. I go around now and talk about happiness to everyone around the country. I talk to kids that have had it a lost worse than I have. Now I know that I was really lucky and that my life wasn't so bad. And who do I have to thank for that? The sweetest person I will ever meet..............
Autumn
That was then, and this is now. I could write pages and pages on happiness now. You want to know how I changed? It all started when my father sent me away on a mission with our church. It was very awkward at first because I had not been to church in a long time. That's when one of the sweetest of my contemporaries that I will ever meet came into my life. It was easy, I could spot her for a mile away. Red hair, green eyes, and very white skin.
"Hi, my name is Autumn. What is your name?"
"Hey, the name's Summer."
And that's when we hit it off. We both had been named after seasons. She told me that this trip was on her bucket list. I thought that was weird at first, but after I got to know her later, I found out that the trip meant everything in the world to her. As we helped the little kids figure out the system, which I, myself, was still learning, we began to become inseparable. I told her about my life and how much I hated it. I went on to tell her how miserable I was. She always had a solemn look on her face when I told her these things. She told me that she loved her life, but her life didn't love her. I didn't understand it at first, but she continued to tell me that she has a brother who is very close to her and a sister that can't even stand to look at her. I was going to ask her why, but she interrupted me to say that she had a tumor. It is too bit to have it surgically taken out, but she is too sick with other complications that won't allow her to go into chemotherapy. At that moment, my heart felt like someone ripped it out and squeezed it as hard as they could. How could someone so beautiful and so grateful for life have something so terrible that her own sister can't even stand to look at her?
"I am so... so sorry, I wish I could do something..."
"But you can't do anything, and I'm okay with it. I have accepted that this life, and this world isn't ready for me and they're kicking me out. I have tried to fight back, but have found that it is a lost cause. I am okay with the fact that I'm going to die. I have thought that if I can't live, then I will do everything I can to make sure someone else won't have to die. That's why I'm an organ donor."
She had told me her deepest secret. She had trusted me. I couldn't stop crying, and yet she looked at me and I could see in her eyes, the peace, and the happiness that was within her. I couldn't believe... actually I didn't want to believe that she was doomed, and yet she is still happy. The trip was almost over, and we would never see each other again, except in church. So, after that, I went to church all the time trying to look for her, but I could never find her. Then, one time I saw her parents. They looked like a mess. I walked over to talk to them just to find out that Autumn was sick and that she only had a few days left. I asked them immediately to take me to her. They agreed and we were off. When I got there, I saw all the tubes and all the equipment that beeped. I choked down the sob that wanted so badly to come out. As I stepped into the room, I can still remember the fear and sadness that swept over me.
"Hey you, how ya doing?" I asked in a shaky voice.
"Well the way it looks, not so good, but the way I feel, great and happy," she said with total confidence.
"Oh well..."
"So how is everything in your life?" she asked, knowing that I was uncomfortable and not knowing what to say.
"Well...., I didn't want to say that I hated my life knowing that she wouldn't have hers much longer, I am doing good. I've been looking for you in church."
"Yeah, I've been wanting to go. How is Father Wayne?"
"Oh, he's good. He asked me to help him start a youth group for the younger kids."
I couldn't stand this much longer. My heart ached for her and I couldn't stand the awkward conversation. Thankfully though, a nurse walked in to check on her. I took advantage of the moment and told her that I had to go to the bathroom. As I walked out, I still remember feeling like the world was crashing down on me. I walked to the bathroom and started bawling. When I got back into the room, she was laying there waiting for me to come and sit in the chair next to her. As I looked down at her, I could remember back to all the times we had spent together. All the laughs we shared, and to see her like this just tore me apart. I was lost in thought when she suddenly grabbed my hand and said something that I'll never forget.
"Hey what's the matter?" I asked worried.
"Nothing, I just feel really happy right now. Knowing that you're here and all."
Of course. Happiness, the one thing in life I couldn't figure out. Why was life so hard? Why do young, innocent people like Autumn have to die? I can't and will never be able to figure out why.
"Hey Summer."
"Yeah Autumn."
"I'm glad I met you."
"I'm glad I net you, too."
"I've done a good thing for you."
"Oh yeah, what's that?"
"I've shown you what happiness is."
And with that she was gone. I started crying uncontrollably. I ran out of that hospital. I ran down the street. I just ran. When I reached a small park, I couldn't believe it. I was being cursed. I would never have happiness in my life. I looked around and saw all the happy faces. They made me mad. A young girl has just died and they're carrying on with their normal, happy lives, and I would never know that feeling. Then, I thought back to what Autumn said, and what kind of friendship we had shared together. Right then I knew. She was right, I now know what happiness is.
It's been six years, and I still remember what Autumn had taught me about happiness. I go around now and talk about happiness to everyone around the country. I talk to kids that have had it a lost worse than I have. Now I know that I was really lucky and that my life wasn't so bad. And who do I have to thank for that? The sweetest person I will ever meet..............
Autumn
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