Sample Entry - 2

Okay, thank you all for your voting and feedback. I took the time to edit "Sample Entry-1" trying to improve and things like that... And as always, be critical when commenting and vote in polls. Thank you! ^_^. Special thanks to DanyaLip. You helped a lot!
I leaned outside the open window. It was pouring outside. The ice-cold rain fell on my cheeks. If someone had been watching, they'd assumed I was crying. Rain felt nice against my skin. It was like taking a natural shower. Which reminds me, I need to take a shower right now...maybe...with Trent. I shuddered at the thought. What the heck? Why did I just think that? I barely know the boy, Trent, the American Boy. I focused my vision on the view across the street, while simultaneously trying to avoid getting the never-ending rain out of my eyes. If I focused hard enough I could see the boy's house on the next street. And if I closed my eyes, I could picture him jogging straight towards me in the pouring rain. Then trotting up to the window I was leaning out of. If I closed my eyes even tighter, I could imagine my head cupped in his hands and him, reaching down finally, kissing me...in the rain. I shuddered at the thought. "No way," I said quietly to myself, "is that going to happen." But, then again, maybe that's just want I want myself to believe...
Is this better than "Sample Entry-1"
Yes. You have improved alot.
You could have made it better...
No, its worse.
Yes but you still have a long way to go.
By
Published: 12/6/2010
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