Romance on the Dance Floor - Ch. 12

As soon as I opened my eyes, Sean jumped into my mind. Did yesterday really happen? I blinked with my eyes and realized it did. It wasn’t a dream. I got up and felt like my head was going to explode. I barely got any sleep night. I couldn’t get my mind off Sean and the look he had on his face when I last saw him. What did it mean? Did he regret it? Didn’t he like the kiss?

Yesterday, everything looked clear. I knew what I wanted and for once I just enjoyed the moment. But now, everything became blurry and uncertain. Was I in love with him? The thought of it frightened me. I couldn’t be in love with him. I’m probably just physically attracted to him. No, deep down inside I knew it was more than physical attraction. At least to me it was. No I was obligated to suppress my feelings otherwise I could get hurt. Sean doesn’t believe in love and doesn’t want to be in a relationship. There was no need for me to get involved with someone like that. The kiss was a very bad idea and so was agreeing to live here.
I looked myself in the mirror. I looked terrible. I had dark bags under my eyes and I looked pale. I guess Sean wouldn’t find me so attractive now.

I went to the kitchen where I found Sean sitting at the table, having breakfast. I was surprised to so him having breakfast at this hour. He’s usually a morning person.
"Good morning" I said. He raised his gaze from his plate to look at me.
"Good morning" he replied with a smile. He looked tired. I guess I wasn’t the only one sleeping badly.
I felt awkward. I didn’t know what to do. Should I pretend like nothing happen? Or should I avoid him? Or maybe kiss him good morning". Although I really felt like kissing him again, it was the last thing I would do right now.
I decided to take a seat at the table to have my breakfast and try to act completely normal.

It was quiet. Very quiet. Too quiet.
"Good morning!" the silence was broken by Kate that just got home. She had bags of groceries in her hands and Sean got up to help her with them.
"Hi Layla. So? How did your date go?" She asked as soon as Sean took the groceries from her.
I didn’t know what to say. Telling her that there wouldn’t be a second date will make her paranoid about me and Sean again. I didn’t want to make her worry again.
"It went well" I said.
"Well as in ‘I definitely want to see him again’ or well as in ‘good but no thanks’’
"Oh they’re definitely going to see each other again" Sean answered. I was surprised. Why did he say that?
"She couldn’t stop smiling, when she came home yesterday" he continued.

Well he wasn’t entirely wrong, I was smiling yesterday, but it wasn’t because of my date with Michael.
Sean went back to the kitchen table to continue his breakfast.
"That’s good news" Kate answered.
"Yeah it is" I just played along. Suddenly I felt a hand caressing my knee.
"So where did he take you" Kate asked.
The touch of Sean’s hand made my temperature rise.
I took a quick look at Sean trying to tell him with my eyes to stop what he was doing. He smiled at me.
"So...Layla?" Kate gave me a questioning glance

"Uh... yeah.." I couldn’t control myself, his caress made my heart race.
"He...took me...to a nice restaurant."
Sean’s hand moved up to my thigh.
"Are you okay Layla?" Kate asked
"Yeah, I’m just a little tired that’s all" when I saw Kate looking away I took the occasion to push Sean’s hand away and got up. Even though the touch of his hand on my thigh felt extremely good, it was just inappropriate.
"Well you should get some rest. And you too Sean, cause you look like a mess" She said while looking at us by turn.
"I wish I could stay and chat with you but I have to go now. I have a lunch meeting" Kate said while looking at her watch.
"We’ll talk later, okay" Kate said and left.

"Are you out of your mind" I said to Sean the minute we were alone.
"Don’t worry she didn’t suspect anything." He replied with a smile.
"And don’t pretend like you didn’t like it" he continued.
I ignored his remark took my bag and left off.
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I plumed down on my bed. I sighed. I had a terrible day. I kept on thinking about Sean all day which made me totally distracted at practice.
Same old story with my crew. Ty was being a total jerk, giving me remarks about how bad I sucked today. Luke kept on make moves on me. And Theresa didn’t stop talking about this guy she met yesterday.
My body hurt from all the dancing. And my head hurt due to the lack of sleep.
What I’m feeling right now is just the opposite of what I felt yesterday night.

I closed my eyes trying to relax. But it was quickly interrupted by my phone.
"Hello" I answered.
No response. But I knew there was another person on the other side of the line.
"Hellllloooo" I repeated
"Hi, Layla" I was shocked when I recognized the nervous voice. I froze and didn’t say a word, as if I’ve lost my voice.
"Layla, I know you’re still mad at me, but I want you to know that I’m doing this for us." I felt my blood rise.
"For us?! Do you have any idea what I’ve been through? DO YOU MUM?!!"
"I know Layla, I’m really sorry, but I needed help" I could hear desperation in her voice.

"No you don’t know, mum."
"Layla, I’m in rehab now. I’m not aloud to go out yet, that’s why I didn’t come to look for you. But I really would like it if came to visit …"
"Visit you? Don’t you understand mum, I don’t want to have anything to do with you. You got that? I don’t want to see you and I don’t care where you are. To me you don’t exist anymore" and I hung up. I threw my phone on my bed. My hands were shaking from the rage I was feeling.
I felt sadness and anger at the same time. I was tired. Tired of all the drama in my life. Tired of feeling bad and feeling abandoned by everyone. My mother, my father, my crew, …
I wanted to feel good again, like I felt yesterday.

Without any hesitation I left my room and followed the music towards Sean’s room. I knocked on his bedroom door. There was no response. The music was probably too loud for him to hear the knocking.
I knocked again but now harder. After a few seconds the music stopped and Sean opened the door. He was stripped to the waist. Looking sexy like usual. I could see he was surprised to see me.
Suddenly I froze. A little voice in my head was saying that this was wrong. That it wasn’t a solution to my problems.

I just stood there for a few seconds but then suddenly Sean grabbed my hand, pulled me inside, closed the door and pushed me gently to the door. With our chests pressed to each other he looked me in the eye. He knew what I wanted and it seemed he wanted the same thing.
"You missed me already?" he whispered.
"Shut up" I said. I put my lips on his and kissed him. He kissed me back while coming even closer.

I was right, I did feel better. All the bad things I felt just disappeared. The sadness and anger was replaced by a warm feeling that spread all over my body.
We guided each other towards the bed while still kissing. He caressed my back and pulled me closer to him till we reached his bed. We both plumbed down on the bed and crawled to the center of it to make ourselves comfortable. He was lying on top of me while he rested his hand on my knee for a few seconds. Our kisses became more intense while he slid his hand to my thigh then gently up to my hip. I felt shivers going through my spine. He slid his hand under my top and caressed my side. His warm hand on my body made my stomach flip over. I caressed his neck and his muscled shoulders while he raised my top. I felt my naked belly against his which made me want him more. He let go of my lips and looked me in the eye. The look in his eyes made me wonder what he was feeling right now and what was going through is head.
I realized that it wasn’t only his body that I needed right now but also his soul. Something I couldn’t get from him.

Here I was in the arms of a guy I was totally in love with, and that just didn’t love me back. I felt fear go through me. This was wrong, I knew this was wrong. But before I could stop him he came closer and started nibbling on my neck making it difficult for me to resist.

Suddenly I heard a noise coming from downstairs.
"Sean? I think…I heard someone" I said while still enjoying his lips on my neck.
"It’s nothing" he mumbled while continuing what he was doing.
I then heard footsteps become louder and louder. Sean stopped. He heard it too.
"Must be my mother" He said in a hurry while getting up from the bed. We both panicked.
"Quick, hide under my bed" he whispered. I obeyed and right when I disappeared under the bed I heard two knocks on the door.

"Hey mum" I heard Sean say. My heart was racing as I was afraid she would suspect anything.
"What’s up with you?" Kate replied.
"Nothing why"
"Well you’re breathing heavily and you’re acting strange"
"Oh yeah, that’s because I was dancing"
"With no music? Besides don’t you have a studio for that? We didn’t build it for nothing you know."
I felt guilt go through me. Kate has been nothing but nice to me. She did things for me that no person will do for another. And here I was betraying her trust. I felt awful.
"I just had a routine on my head and wanted to try it out." Sean said convincingly.
"Okay whatever" Kate replied "I’m going to get some groceries. Do you need anything from the store?" she continued.
"No I’m fine"

"Have you seen Layla by any chance" Kate asked. My heart started to beat faster.
"Nope" Sean answered.
"Okay, I’m going now. Just please put some shirt on, okay" And then she left.
It was quiet in the room again.
"Okay, you can come out now" Sean said.
I came out of under the bed and saw Sean peeking through the window to make sure that Kate left.
"Okay coast is clear. Now where were we" he said while pulling me closer to him.
"We shouldn’t be doing this" I said while pushing him gently away. His face changed in confusion.

"I can’t do this to Kate. She trusts me. And here I am lying and betraying her. She doesn’t deserve this." It was quiet for a while.
"And that’s not the only reason" I continued. Sean looked surprised at me
"What do you mean" he said curious
"I just don’t want to be someone’s groupie. This is just not me"
"Is that what you think you are to me?"

"Well then, what am I?" I asked.
I hoped he would say that I mean much more to him and that there wasn’t a girl that made him feel so good, but instead there was a silence. A silence that broke my heart. He looked at me for a few seconds and then looked away, having the same look on his face as yesterday after the kiss. That look that I just couldn’t read.
"That’s what I thought" I said and left the room with a worst feeling then before.
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