Responding to Offenses

Have you met people who are easily offended and burst out with anger as a response to insignificant matters? It is not too hard to find those, yet it becomes serious when we ourselves happen to be in those shoes, and it is most likely that we all had moments when we were touchy.

But where is the core of this issue?

Most short-tempered, irritable people act this way because their love reservoir is empty. When your love tank is empty you are insecure and you strive to depend on the others' appreciations, your tendency is to look for their acceptance as a main source of your self-worth feeling. It is however so painful when you realize that no amount of friends will ever be able to keep you propped up if you don’t take your value from what God Himself says about you. The love you might receive from people is far too limited and can’t possibly cover for the gallons of love you need to fill your tank! The acceptance from those around you is unstable, is changing and insufficient for you to depend on it!

The moment we realize that the Only Source of love is the Love Itself, namely Jesus Christ, God’s Only Begotten Son, that’s when we will stop depending on external sources for our self esteem and we will fill our love tank with the unchangeable, perfect and proven love of God. God Himself sees you valuable and you are important for Him because He created you to be in this world! He could have made another person but…he made you! He chose you, yes YOU!

Regardless of the circumstances you might have entered this world, if you were a wanted child or not, God planned that you would be here. God Himself appreciates you and loves you intensely, this is where you need to come to fill your tank because when you do that, no amount of itchy criticism or offenses will be able to affect you so that you’d lose your temper again. The moment you KNOW, that you are loved, deeply understood and forgiven regardless of circumstances, you are able to "function" to your maximum parameters regardless of the presence or absence of external support. You don’t need anyone to prop you up if God Himself does it!

For instance, in marriage there are plenty of opportunities to complain that the other does not do this and that to keep you happy."I have cooked all evening and you just ate and got up and went" or "I have just canceled my day off to help you and you don’t even seem to care", there are a multitude of situations like these. And yes, you might be right to have all these expectations but…you are most likely to be disappointed when you don’t get the response you are looking for. This is an example of how we as humans tend to build our inner self esteem on others' acceptance. But when you take "fuel" from God’s love, when you get to KNOW that God Himself appreciates what you did, God thinks you are valuable, smart, beautiful, if your friends or spouse don’t say a word it does not matter! You still know that you are beautiful, smart and loved even if no human says it! You don’t depend on their opinions anymore! You’ve found that inner constant spring of love that fuels your tank constantly and you indeed become calm, happy with who God made you to be and joyful for the great plan He has for your life.

This will surely not stop here because the spring of God’s love in your heart will positively affect the others around you, spreading acceptance, love and care in their lives.

A very good question to ask yourself especially in those moments when you have an argument and you are most likely to offend (or being offended) is "Am I really right? I might be wrong! Yes, I know I am right but still, I might be wrong!" With such attitude, you don’t allow yourself a position where you could offend another.

What if the other offends you? Well…the offender is more miserable then you are! Did he/she make you feel rejected? Just think about how rejected and miserable he must be feeling inside since he acts like that!

Therefore, don’t think that the devil is ever going to change because he is not! Don’t think that the world is going to change because it won’t! You need to change your approach to offenses!

No amount of prayer will ever determine God to create this serene little universe around us with no hardships, offenses or trouble whatsoever! No, God wants us to be mature, to "grow up" and in the very middle of offenses, trouble and hardships to renew our mind, to fill our love tank from His love and to have compassion for the offenders because they really feel miserable inside.

In conclusion "What about me? What about me? What about me?" has to be replaced with a sincere soul search, an inner search to see what is the real source of our self esteem and make sure we replace all the wrong sources with God’s source.