Relationship Breakup Advice

This article is aimed at giving some much-needed advice to many who have reached crossroads in their relationship, and are forced to make a choice of breaking up. Of all the relationship issues, a breakup is the toughest one.

So are you one of those souls, who is in a relationship, that has hit choppy waters and are thinking about quitting it? That is, are you thinking of breaking up? There must be a lot of confusion, guilt and anxiety about making this decision. I will help you in putting things into a clearer perspective. Before we go ahead, let's explore what makes a relationship work and what can you call a healthy relationship. This may help you out in arriving at a decision.

What Makes a Relationship Work?

It is invariably a great experience to be in a relationship. Relationships are also a lot of hard work. The 'happily ever after' ending happens only in fairy tales! What fun would there be in a relationship, without the occasional tiffs and disagreements. They are opportunities to know each other better! What are the odds of two different people with their different experiences, likes, dislikes, ambitions and beliefs coming together and forging a relationship of a lifetime? Well, the odds are stacked very high indeed. Still, how do people have such great relationships? Are they perfectly matched? Believe me, there is nothing like a perfect relationship or perfect match! Perfection, first of all is boring and there is nothing like a perfect relationship or the ideal match.

A great relationship is forged I guess, through mutual respect, tolerance for shortcomings of each other, understanding and with that important ingredient called unconditional love. Most importantly, a healthy relationship has unconditional love from both sides! It can't be that one goes on sacrificing and compromising for the other out of love and the other does not. The feeling has to be mutual. That is, what makes a relationship work.

Relationship Breakup Advice for the Undecided

Now that I have given you my idea of what makes a relationship work, we can explore how it may not work out and lead you to make that inevitable decision of breaking up. Nobody can advise you on this matter of a breakup. It is a matter between you two. If you are in conundrum whether to break up or not, ask yourself the following questions, which may help you arrive at a decision.

Are You Both Happy?
This is a very important question. Relationships sour up due to unrealistic expectations from each other. For a relationship to work, it is essential that both of you are happy in it. If one of you is compromising all the way to make this thing work, it is time to end it, however painful it may be.

Is There Laughter and Sharing?
A couple that laughs together, stays together. Laughter and sharing connect us like nothing else. Laughter keeps the romance alive. There is something about humor, which keeps a relationship fresh and a person, fun to be with. If the laughter has died out and its place has been taken up by increasingly bitter sarcasm, it's time to quit for the good of both.

Are you Being Yourself in This Relationship?
Are you forced to be somebody you are absolutely not, to win over the affection of your partner? If the answer is yes, then that is really not advisable. If your partner refuses to accept you for who you really are, you are living a lie. Ultimately, you are going to be unhappy. So, think about it.

Do you Feel Suffocated in this Relationship?
It happens sometimes that your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't give you a lot of space. You do not get time to spend time with your friends and family. Yes, your boyfriend or girlfriend is the most important person in your life, but there are other people also whom you need to take care of! If your partner does not realize this and wants you all for himself or herself, life is eventually going to be difficult for you.

Is there Constant Bickering?
Is there constant bickering between you two? Do you have to constantly remind and compare how much each one of you is doing for each other? It is a sign of a fundamental dissatisfaction in a relationship. You should discuss and talk with each other. Be frank with each other, that helps.

If you are in an abusive relationship, and you are not respected by your partner, it's time for a breakup! There need not be any second thoughts in this case.

Are You Hanging in There, Running away From Guilt?
Are you still in this relationship because you feel that if you break up, your boyfriend and girlfriend will break down? That is, if you are hanging in there because you can't see him or her hurt then let me tell you, don't do it. Neither you, nor your partner are going to be happy. Yes, if you break up, it will hurt, but only once. It is tough, but it must be done. Remember, love is a feeling that cannot be manufactured, if it's there, it's there. If it's not, you cannot do anything about it.

Can You Still Feel it?
The one thing that can make or break your relationship is love. If it's there, no matter how many quarrels happen, you will stay together. However if you do not feel like the luckiest person on earth to have your partner with you, chances are that love has waned . It is that feeling which you get, when you see him or her every time. Your heart skips a beat and you feel that you can take on anything in life till this person is with you! If that feeling is not there, it is over.

This was some introspective advice for you. Hope it helps you to get in touch with your feelings and make an honest decision. Ending a relationship is always a tough decision and one of the most painful ones ever. However, sometimes it must be taken for the good of both. Moving on after a breakup is another tough job which takes a lot of time. Sometimes pain is inevitable. It strengthens you and teaches you a lot.