Relationship Advice - Staying Friends After the Breakup

When you and your partner have just broken up, it can be hard to stay within striking distance of each other after the breakup. When the breakup is still fresh, you may not be able to look at your ex straight in the eye when you meet each other across the street. You may even find yourself wanting to burst into tears or hit a wall because of the painful memories of the breakup.

After you have calmed down and the breakup does not affect you that violently anymore, you may find yourself pining for your ex and wanting to get back with your ex again. If you find yourself still in love with your ex after the breakup, what should you do? One way to bridge the gap between you and your ex is to become friends with your ex again.

Why Being Friends After the Breakup Works

If you want to get back with your ex after your breakup, it may be a good idea to become friends with your ex before attempting a romantic reconciliation. In this way, you would be able to gauge the situation with your ex before jumping into any attempt at winning him or her back. This will save you from any hurt and embarrassment later on.

There are three main reasons why it is best for you to cultivate a friendship with your ex before trying to get him or her to fall in love with you again. Here are these three reasons:

1. Your ex may be involved with someone else by now. When you are in love with someone, your goal should always be to make that someone happy. If it seems to you that your ex is happy with his or her current partner, then you should be magnanimous enough to keep your distance and just stay friendly with your ex. It would be selfish of you to cause their breakup just so you can get your ex back. However, being a friend to your ex can help you see if your ex is truly happy or not. If it turns out that he or she is unhappy with the current flame, then you can try to make your move.

2. Your ex may be afraid of getting back with you because he or she does not want to make the same mistakes again. Let us face it. There are reasons why the two of you broke up in the first place. It is only natural for your ex to want to avoid falling into the same traps and getting hurt again. By being a friend to your ex before attempting a reconciliation, you are giving your ex a chance to see that the two of you can work things out for the better this time.

3. Your ex may not be interested in you anymore. This is another fact that you must face. For some people, once a breakup is done, it is done and there is no turning back anymore. Your ex may feel that you are already a closed chapter in his or her life, and it is a chapter that is not worth going back to anymore. If this is your case, you can use your friendship to capture your ex's interest again and make him or her fall in love with you once more.

Being Just Friends Also Gives You Time to Think

There is another reason why you should try being friends with your ex first before attempting a romantic reconciliation. That reason is that being friends with your ex can give you more time to think whether or not you should really go back to being in a relationship with your ex. After all, you may only want the reconciliation because you just miss being with your ex, not because you are still in love with him or her.

Being just friends with your ex gives you the time and the opportunity to assess whether you should give the relationship another try or you should simply move on. Sometimes, no matter how hard you want to get back with your ex, the best option may be just to stay friends.