Refusal to Waste

Blue-black midnight thick with silence
When it’s quiet and the wind starts turning
When I am alive…
Sharp pains of wind chimes shrilly burning
The house is quiet, edged in silence {boxed in and pounding}
They call this alive…
I stitch my eyes shut
And beg for sleep.

Don’t wake up- it makes the cut run deep to get up and run
Sneak out if it’s dark out and tear out your heart now when life says wake up wake up.

Slight tint of dawn’s break tugs famished corners,
My mind is swollen absorbing the cold hard floors.
Who feels alive?

The sun in springtime makes me lonely,
Where cliche is not an option for me.
Each aspect pain, what’s hollow hurts,
These empty spaces fill this rot with urge.

I woke up and let the cut run deep now the sleep never comes...
Walked out since it’s dark out and carved all the rot out- breathe exhale wake up wake up
I can’t sleep- can’t let the lifelessness sink in too close
I stitch all my holes shut my heart stops to listen when night comes should I wake up

Getting too close, I make me feel
Getting in-closed
All I can do is beg for sleep
-Or insomnia
Tossing and turn, I’m strangled by
Twisted sheet and pillows
All I do is beg

Don’t wake up

I start my day when alarm clocks mourn me
I can’t escape the passion to breathe every second while I’m still here
I’m fully alive.