Rebuilding Trust in a Relationship

"Two years into their marriage, Jeremy cheated on his wife Sarah. It was an office colleague's birthday party and perhaps Jeremy had a few drinks more than his system could take. In his state of drunkenness, he couldn't help but admire how amazingly sexy Coleen, his co-worker, happened to be. And in a high level of intoxication, Jeremy committed the act which would forever sabotage his otherwise wonderful marriage. Jeremy felt guilty of breaking his wife's trust and loved her a lot. But how does a man who cheated on his wife, find a way back to her heart? Or should the question be, is it possible, for such a man to find a way back to her heart..."

The unfortunate thing about trust is that it takes years to build but just one moment of madness to destroy. And the time taken may perhaps be even double the time it took the first time around. Infidelity is one of the top marital problems. And regaining trust in broken relationship is not at all easy. For starters, you have to convince your partner that you deserve a second chance. Most partners are unwilling to give a second chance to a partner who has been unfaithful, so those who DO get a chance are indeed quite lucky. So if you have been given a second chance to rebuild the relationship, you ought to make the best effort you can.

Rebuilding Trust After Committing Adultery

You must first be given a chance to do so. Don't you love your partner? I think women find it in their hearts to forgive an unfaithful man more often than the reverse. One thing you have to keep in mind, and also convince your partner about, is that you love your partner and what you did was a pretty silly, one-time thing. This is really hard, because your partner is bound to feel that there is something about them which does not satisfy you (the unfaithful one). And if you've been tempted once, perhaps it is a tendency that will happen again. Unless of course, the matter is resolved. And if you're unsatisfied with your partner, telling this to them after you have cheated on them doesn't sound like a very good idea. Basically, you're on thin ice. So how does one find a solution to this quandary?

Step #1: Sit down and talk about your relationship. There is always a reason why you did it. Explain yourself. There is no point in keeping the dissatisfaction hidden. Bring out your true feelings. Discuss what you felt was missing in your relationship. It may sound outrageous and heartless right now, but this is what you have to do. Because unless you analyze and convey the cause of your dissatisfaction, your fixing nothing really, and are back to square one.

Step #2: The second trust building exercise for couples is to make a commitment. Undoubtedly, your partner must be shaken that you took such a dramatic step of infidelity behind their back. So you have to agree with whatever steps your partner suggests. Let your partner take this decision about what will make them trust you again. You might have to give up your privacy and your space for a while, but just remember that it is all to a good end.

• Come forward with your mistakes. Suggest ways to make your partner feel better. Say that you'll call them regularly and tell them what you've been doing all day.
• Introduce your partner to all your friends and colleagues. It is essential that your partner knows who all you hang around with so that they can trust you.
• Keep no secrets from your partner and always tell them the truth. Even little things, like where you are and what you're doing. Your partner should be able to see an improvement in you. Tell them what you did at work every day so that they get no wrong ideas.
• Keep talking to your partner. It is essential that you hear out whatever they may have to say. Keep your partner feeling secure. It is also essential to analyze your position and see if you're making a headway in your effort to rebuild your trustworthiness.
• Let your conscience guide your behavior. Before you take any step, you should ask yourself, am I doing the right thing? Would my partner approve? If the answer to both these questions is no, then I assume that you know what you have to do.

It is inordinately hard to rebuild trust, but you have to keep in mind the ultimate goal. Don't you love your partner?