Punker - Chapter 31

The next two weeks were blank for me. Well, inconsequential maybe. I’m not sure what the best word would be actually.
I drank a lot.
Partied some.
Smoked daily.
Slept with a few girls, mostly Anna.
I don’t really feel anything when I do those things. Almost as if I’m floating listlessly in the air, looking down at my own corrupt actions. It’s like my brain has started attacking all my feelings like a foreign virus. Especially when I’m with Anna. I’m never as numb as I am when I’m with her. People at school are calling me her new boy toy or something like that. Which is weird because I barely go to school now, so how the hell should they know? I don’t care what we are as long as she gives what I want, whenever I need it. Seems like I need that time with her more and more these days. Like there’s this pressure in my chest that keeps building and building and only those few moments of blissful oblivion keeps that pain at bay.

The only way I can think to explain life for me now is that suddenly everything went gray. It didn’t matter who I was with, what I did, where I planned on crashing that night, if I got up that morning or just slept forever. But no matter what I did that damn pressure never completely let up. Sometimes it got so bad it took my breath away. Maybe all this dumb shit is killing me. I wouldn’t be surprised.
"Are you coming down from that Xanax? You look so serious all of a sudden."

I turned my head in Nikky’s lap at the sound of her voice. She looked down at me with a mixture of faint concern and humor. Nikky was the light-hearted type, never taking herself too seriously and constantly making jokes to ease any tension. Over the last two weeks I guess you could say I’ve become part of a clique. We were kind of like the Christian school rejects. We got messed up together, skipped school, got into any trouble that came our way, the usual, but we were all really just friends of convenience. I mean, what Jesus kid would want to hang with a bunch of screw ups? So we got stuck with each other. And, of course, The Hideaway, where me and Anna had our first… encounter. It doubled as a ditching spot whenever we wanted to get away for a minute- or the last couple of hours- at school. Counting Nikky, there were five of us. Her and Anna were the only girls, then there’s Colton, Rory, and myself.

Colton was a lunatic. Like seriously. The guy probably dropped so much acid in his life, it totally messed him up in the head. Or maybe it was the heroine. Or the occasional hit of crack on the weekends; the point is he’s a freak. Some days he’s hyped up getting in everyone’s face, his dark mane of greasy hair whipping back and forth across his face like window wipers as he literally bounced from place to place, his deathly bony frame threatening to break apart from all the movement it clearly wasn’t healthy enough for. Other days he was so low we’d have to babysit him to make sure he didn’t OD on uppers. Today was a low day for Colton. As soon as Nikky mentioned Xanax, the drug of choice today, his face twisted into an agonized grimace; like he had a broken arm and someone just offered him Aspirin.

"Rory," he groan pitifully to his left, where Rory leaned quietly against the wall in the darkest corner of the room, a cigarette perched between his fingers.
He stiffened irritably, preparing himself for Colton’s sixth plea for something stronger. Rory always kept the drugs on him. Partly because he was the only one who could stand Colton’s begging without giving him a couple to the stomach, partly because he was the only one who wouldn’t take them all for himself, but we all knew why we really let him do it. He was the only one who didn’t give a damn about being caught with them on him. He was the type of guy you wouldn’t expect to be anywhere near this lifestyle; clean-cut dark hair, nice build, nice clothes, even has a 4.0 in school. That is, until you actually saw him in it. Then you knew there was no one who belong more.

If there was anything like a mob in this town, you better believe Rory would be in charge. Nothing ever fazed him, no one ever out smarted him, and no one ever got under his skin. He always got stuff for us, I never heard of some of them, and none of us cared to ask who his suppliers were. We weren’t that dumb. And though most of the rumors we heard about he never admitted, and we didn’t ask, everyone was scared of him. Not just in school, but random moments when we’re on the street and someone spots him and practically hails a cab in the other direction, so you have to assume some of them are true. Why he hung with us, I have no clue. Maybe one of those big fish little pond things, but again I didn’t care to ask.

"Will someone kick that guy in the head already to shut him up." Bailey growled from his position across from Colton on the floor, his foot raised just slightly as if waiting for the OK to do just that. Colton scowled disdainfully at him, but discreetly shifted further from Bailey and his aimed foot.
Oh yeah, and Bailey hangs too.
If there was any wierdness between him, Anna, and myself from the outside you probably couldn’t tell. But on the inside there was always this silent presence hanging over us. Like something could go off at the drop of a hat. I wasn’t sure if Anna was sleeping with both of us or just me, but Bailey still didn’t seem to get just how much of an ass he looked like. He still clamped himself to Anna’s side where ever we went, he still let her boss him around, and she still kept his balls in a little glass jar in her back pocket. As far as me and him went, he ignored me and I ignored him. We didn’t exist to each other.

"I think that’ll break your foot faster than it would shut Colton up." Nikky giggled, dropping a heavenly blue pill into mouth.
"Don’t you have hands Newbie?" I didn’t miss the possessive edge in Anna’s voice, or the daggers I felt her digging into my skull.
I rose my hands above my face, as if making sure that they were in fact still attached to my arms.
"Looks like it." I said impassively, letting them drop back to the concrete with a muffled plop sound.

"Don’t be a smart ass." She grabbed a handful of my hair in her talon- I mean hand- and managed to pull my head down far enough to smack it on the concrete too. I glowered at her, which I figured wasn’t so intimidating upside down.
"Then don’t be such a bitch." I said through clenched teeth, ripping my head out of grasp and off Nikky’s lap to stand up.
"Shut it or this shoe’s going against your head too." Bailey hissed.
I didn’t even spare him a glance as I made my way towards the door.
"Where are you going?" She demanded.
"Somewhere else." In these last weeks I’ve found being around Anna without the benefit of sleeping with her is, well, hell.

Finding a new place was easier said than done. As soon I was back outside I remembered that we had at least another hour of school left. Leaving wasn’t an option, there were like a million camaras around the building just waiting for some idiot to try to make a run for it. If I went to class, would they notice I was high? Probably. But I couldn’t seem to care. I headed for the side door.

"Araon!" I looked back at Nikky, who was leaning out of the door to the Hideaway, waving her arms like a mad woman at me. I opened my mouth to say something just as a figure propped opened the other door into the school, a bald head emerging.
"Young man, why aren’t you in class?" The guy asked. I had never seen him before, but I knew he was a teacher, and by the sound of his rough scratchy voice he was most likely on his way to a smoke break. Made me wish I had a hit of Rory’s cigarette.

I blinked at him. My mind completely blank. Great, now I couldn’t even form cohesive thoughts.
"Did you hear me, son? Where are you supposed to be?" He was making his way towards me now. I didn’t move.
"Aaron!" I wasn’t sure who called me, but I knew Bailey was the one who spoke next.
"Run, dumb ass!"
Yeah. Definitely Bailey.

Automatically I turned and ran, the others seemingly miles ahead already. Guess waiting for me was out of the question. I heard the slapping of shoes hitting the pavement not too far behind me.
Who is this guy? The freaking gym teacher?
I rounded a corner and ducked into the nearest door. My plan was to get lost in the crowd or at least catch up to the others. I didn’t see the gang, so they must have kept going. There was no one else in the halls either. So much for that. When I rounded the next corner I slowed to a walk. I looked back to make sure he wasn’t following me anymore. And crashed right into Beth.

"Oh!" She yelped, her eyes wide with surprise.
She rocked back like she was about to fall, but instinctually I caught her arm in my grasp and straighten her up. I waited to make sure she had her balance before letting go, rubbing my hand along the back of my pants. For some reason it felt like it was tingling. The pills must be really kicking in.
Beth backed jerkily away, rubbing her arm also. "I'm sorry." She muttered to the center of my chest.
I hesitated, not sure if talking to her was a good idea.

I hadn’t said a word to Beth since that day at the tree. I didn't seen her at school, not even on the days I came. Or my brain blocked it out like everything else. She looked the same, and way different. Her hair was up in her signature ponytail, but it wasn’t as tight as it use to be, I actually saw more than a couple of stray hair. Her clothes were still strict and covered most of her form, but they were wrinkled and worn out looking. Her face was unchanged, but there wasn’t an inch of that smile. Not on her lips. Not in her eyes. Not on any line. The pressure worsened suddenly.

Talking to her was definitely a bad idea.
"Don’t worry about it, it was my fault." I muttered.
She nodded, moving to walk around me. Good. We really didn’t need to keep talking.
"He went this way I know it!" His rough scratchy voice made me flinch. I thought I’d lost him…
"Alright, Jim." Damn. He brought that woman. The one who saw my "accident" awhile back.
"Shit." I murmured, searching for an escape route. I jumped when Beth grabbed me.
"Get in here." She commanded, still not looking me exactly in the eye. She shoved me into a closet and closed the door behind me.

"Ms. Dowenger? What are you doing out here? Oh never mind, have you seen Mr. Maytin come this way by any chance?" She sounded impatient and annoyed.
"No ma’am. I don’t believe he came to school today." She said smoothly. Why was she helping me? I pressed my ear against the wood of the door, trying to get every word.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes ma’am."
I could hear her earrings rattling from her shaking her head.

"Jim I don’t have time for a wild goose hunt."
I heard her stomping away on her heels, Jim right behind her grumbling. I stood back as Beth opened the door for me to come out.
As I stepped out I couldn’t help but stare at her. She just lied for me. But for what? We weren’t friends anymore, if we were to begin with, so why did she risk getting in trouble for me? It just didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t how she was supposed to act. Not after I found her out. When I haven’t spoken to her in weeks.

It just didn’t make any sense.
"I guess I’ll go." She said awkwardly. I nodded, I didn’t want to talk to her anymore. My chest was getting tighter and tighter. I felt like my body was threatening to feel at any moment. And I couldn’t do that anymore.
She stepped around me, but ended up stopping again. It was only when I looked between us that I saw it was me that stopped her. My hand was wrapped firmly around her thin, pale wrist.

"What are you doing?" She whispered, her gaze fixed on our hands.
I pulled her closer, she didn’t resist. That pressure in my chest took away any breath I had left. I think the lack of oxygen to my brain was making me delirious. That could be why I keep seeing that kiss we shared right before I said goodbye to her forever.
"I don’t know…"
She was so close-
"Aaron."
I jolted away from Beth. Blinking as if waking up from a dream. Figures Anna would be the one to bring me back to the real world. She stood several feet behind Beth, giving me the dirtiest look imaginable.

"I have to go." Beth quickly made her exit, leaving me alone with the beast.
"What the hell was that?" She hissed.
"Nothing." I grounded out.
"Oh yeah, looks like nothing to me."
"Drop it, Anna."
"As soon as you drop her." She pointed down the hall even though Beth was long gone.
"Trust me I have." I mumbled. She gave me a look, but, thankfully, let it go. For now.

"You’re still coming to my Halloween party this Friday right?" You better be, her tone said.
"Of course."
"Good." Pleased, she gave me a long lingering kiss.
This was more like it. Back to the sex. The way it’s supposed to be. I was sure Beth would never bring out in me whatever that was again. I had a moment of weakness that’s all, or those pills got to me. Nothing else.
But then why was I still thinking about my kiss with Beth while kissing Anna…

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Sorry it's been so long I've actually had it ready for a good two weeks, but I just couldn't seem to upload on my computer till now. Thanks for all your comments! I really love that you all read my article.