Problems in Getting the Sex Life You Want and Deserve - Starting With D

Whether heterosexual, homosexual, or somewhere in the middle we all want to improve our sex life. Who wants to be alone? We can’t offer you an article, magic pill, perfume, potion, or pick-up line that will automatically send you and your intended partner to the bedroom. However, I really do believe that you can perk up your sex life whoever you are.

This article focuses on the problems and pitfalls that prevent you from improving your sex life. Another series focuses on what you should be doing. Both our "negative" and "positive" suggestions will help you get what you want. Here we look at degenerate, desperate, and dominating.

D is for degenerate. I’m not talking about such and such an activity between two (or perhaps more) consenting adults. I’m talking about different behavior that I won’t take the time to spell out. Some stuff is just plain wrong, and some stuff is clearly illegal. These two no-nos are not necessarily the same. There are lots of opportunities for people to have satisfying sex lives, varied sex lives while staying within the boundaries of good, clean fun. Or maybe even good, dirty fun provided they respect the rules of consenting adults. And use some common sense when applying the rules. If you’re a forty-year old boss, stay away from the twenty-year old new hire. She (or he) is not truly a consenting adult and you and I both know it. If you are really, really determined to be with her, get another job in a different company and see what happens. That would be a level playing field.

D is for desperate. Do I have to tell you? Very few women make a habit of dating desperation cases. Of course some men specialize in them. (We have already discussed degenerate.) If you are desperate to change your life do so. And start looking for a partner once you have made the change and are no longer desperate. Desperate, hysterical love is not love at all. And it usually doesn’t make for very good sex. But if that’s what gets you through the night, go for it. Just make sure that your partner knows. On second thought, if you are into desperate sex, your partner knows. And may be desperate as well.

D is for dominating. Sex is supposed to be an example of cooperation, many would say the supreme example of cooperation between (occasionally among) consenting adults. Don’t dominate your partner in or out of bed. If you both like role-playing scenarios just make sure that everything is safe. And make sure that it stays a game. You both should know when the game is over. The way I look at it; if you are both fighting to see who wears the chains you have a problem. But hey, that’s just me. Maybe I don’t know what I’m missing.

Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.