Problems in Getting the Sex Life You Want and Deserve - Starting With B

All of us, heterosexual, homosexuals, and others want to improve our sex life. Who wants to be alone? We can’t offer you an article, magic pill, perfume, potion, or pick-up line that will automatically send you and your intended partner to the bedroom. However, I really do think that you can perk up your sex life whoever you are.

This article focuses on the problems and pitfalls that prevent you from improving your sex life. Another series focuses on what you should be doing. Both our "negative" and "positive" suggestions will help you get what you want.

B is for backward. Guess what people, we are no longer in the stodgy fifties or even the swinging sixties. Don’t live in the past. For one thing, sex roles are no longer so clearly defined. Guys, if a woman initiates the contact don’t go ballistic and don’t assume that something is wrong with her, or that she is a hooker. Be happy that she is interested. And please don’t assume that after breakfast she will do the dishes.

B is for bitter. Yes, you may have had several disappointments in your intimate relationships. Frankly, who hasn’t? Don’t go around carrying the burdens of all that baggage. It will bend your back. What about that charming individual that you met for the first time at your best friend’s party last night? Don’t think of her or him as someone who will pay for your bad breaks. Think of him or her as a new beginning. It’s not a question of forgetting the past, but one of learning from it. Remember, your prospective partners may have reason to be bitter as well. Do you want to pay for her or his baggage? Don’t be surprised that it goes both ways.

B is for blind. Keep your eyes open with respect to your partner. I know that the more you are "into" her or him, the harder it is not to be blind. And the more important it is to watch what you’re doing. Look carefully and you may see something in your partner you really don’t like. Perhaps you’ll see a violent streak or drugs. Or maybe your partner’s idea of the relationship is quite far from your own idea. In the former case, get out fast. In the latter case you’ll have to decide what’s best for you. But the blinder you are the longer it will take to realize the problem and consequently the harder it becomes to solve. So open your eyes before you open your zipper or open your legs.

Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.