Problems in Getting the Sex Life You Want and Deserve - Continuing With C

All of us, heterosexuals, homosexuals, and others want to improve our sex life. Who wants to be alone? We regret; we can’t offer you an article, magic pill, perfume, potion, or pick-up line that will automatically send you and your intended partner or partners to the bedroom. However, I really do think that you can perk up your sex life whoever you are.

This article focuses on the problems and pitfalls that prevent you from improving your sex life. Another series focuses on what you should be doing. Both our "negative" and "positive" suggestions will help improve your sex life. We present a double series of articles for the letter C.

C is for compare. This term is so important that we are using it in our relationships series, also on the negative side of the balance sheet. Spend a lot of time comparing your new squeeze to your old squeeze and you had better hope your old squeeze is available; your new one won’t be around to squeeze much longer. Even if you frequently, "You’re better than X (A no-namer because this phenomenon holds equally for men and women)" before long your partner will say. "Why do you keep talking about X, is it over or not?" Never ask for a comparison between yourself and a past lover or lovers. You may not be happy with the answer. You may find the tone of voice somewhat or sarcastic. And what would you think of the following answer: "I think I have slept with 132 people. And you rank number ten or twelve." Of course it could be worse. "I think I have slept with 132 people. And you rank about number ten or twelve, from the bottom."

C is for conceit. Frankly don’t go around like you’re king of the earth. Nobody wants to hear endlessly how great you are. If you were really that great people would somehow know about it and you wouldn’t have to tell them. I’m tempted to try a scientific experiment with the conceited people I have the pleasure of knowing. It’s pretty simple, just a taste of their own medicine. I don’t think that experiment would take long to run. To be fair a smidgen of conceit doesn’t hurt.

C is for coerce. One major rule about sex is that the other person should also want it. If the answer is no, don’t coerce, don’t make a big deal out of it, and don’t necessarily give up hope. Today’s no could be tomorrow’s maybe and next week’s yes. By the way you are allowed to verify if no really means no. We all know that no sometimes means yes. But don’t be pigheaded about it. You need not be a genius to figure out when no means no. By fighting today, you decrease or eliminate any chances for the future. While it may be hard to believe, even guys don’t want to be coerced about sex. Sometimes.

Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.