Preview of (Title Unknown)

This is just a short part of what my manga will be about. But of course, like all mangas out there, it has to be a story first. So..ya...^_^'. Tell me what you think about it. Be critical! Tell me how I need to improve!
I reached over and tried to cover her mouth. "Shut up!" I screamed. She swatted my hand away. "Don't try to hide it, Ami, you told me you liked him."
Ami: "Shut up Sora, I was being sarcastic!"
Sora: "No you weren't", she started again, "you were serious."
Ami: "N-NO I wasn't. I promise I wasn't!"
Sora: "Do you honestly think you can cover something like that up? Seriously, do you think someone like him would fall for someone like you?"
Tears started swell up in my eyes. I couldn't break down now, not at a time like this. I attempted to pull myself together.
Ami: "Honestly? You're right he wouldn't fall for someone like me. I wouldn't care any ways."
I sneaked a quick glance at Trent. He was smirking. What happened to my acting skills? Oh great, he thinks I like him now. But really, when I think about it, is that such a bad thing?

Tell me what you think about it. Be critical! Tell me how i need to improve! Or answer poll! Thank you for making it this far!
How do you think this can improve?
Better dialog
More description.
More humor
More drama
More mystery
Better editing
By
Published: 11/26/2010
Post Comment | View Comments
Your Comments:
Your Name: