Pretender

Do you fall for the smile on my face?
Do I make the smile convincing?
Do you believe I’m really happy?

When you talk to me can you tell that I’m not really listening,
can you tell I’m really thinking about what will happen next
can you tell I want to start crying right in that spot,
Do the tears I hold in build up?

Am I a good pretender?
You think I have my off days when all of my days are off
When I smile it’s no big deal because I always smile right?
well on the outside at least,

When I don’t talk you think I have nothing to say because I talk alot
How do you know that I want to tell you everything but I can’t
How do you know that I don’t have deep secrets,
when I don’t talk I might just be thinking of that

Does this make you wonder,
it should but don’t,
Does it make you worry
it should but don’t
Do you fear I wish I had a different life
I do but don’t
Do you wanna help me
that’s sweet but don’t

I’m fine,
I’m lying to myself about having a good life,
but its working,
who says lies are bad?
Don’t get in my way of letting myself "be happy with who i am"
I don’t need help,
if you didn’t read all this you wouldn’t have even guessed,
I guess I’m just a good actress too