Preface: Saving Rosaline

I was led down the Primrose Path....

You never expect to be THAT person, the one that everyone is talking about…..unless you want it to be that way and that’s fine. I just wish I had a choice.

Now I realize that as I watch mama and daddy sleeping in the two lone chairs in this room, they have been there for me from the start. They gave me all the love they could, and all the things a girl needs but never really wants. I had their attention, but back then it hadn’t been enough, I wanted the attention of someone I never really thought was sinister. But wants aren’t needs are they?

I lay back against the pillows and lean my head to the side to watch my mother. Her chest rises gently and falls back all in rhythm with her small snores. I want to reach out my hand and brush the stray black curl away from her nut brown skin and kiss her forehead. She’s wonderful, I should’ve know that sooner than later, and Daddy….I crane my neck to look at him. His mouth is wide open and the animal sounds I call his snores are something I have grown used to and comforted by. He’s a little rough around the edges, but with time he’ll do, I may not have his bright skin, but I have his smile, I’m sure of it.

"Hey, you’re up finally."

I turn my head to the right and squint at the person standing on the side of my bed. The painkillers are definitely working because my movements are out of wack. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out of my sore throat.

"Shh, don’t speak."

As the person leans closer I can see that its Adam, oh Adam, what did I do to you? He rests his arms on the hospital bed and rests his chin on top of his hands. I want to reach for his face too, but not to brush a curl away. No I want to rub my thumb against his temples, caress his lovely nose and press my palm against his high cheek bones.

His eyes are watching me, I always wondered about those eyes……so different and exotic they seem against his mahogany brown skin. ‘Pretty Eyes’ that would always be my name for him, if it hadn’t been for those eyes maybe I never would have bothered learning his name.

"You gonna be ok Rose' ?"

‘Yes.’ I mouth, my throat is so sore it hurts.

"Good good."

Adam takes my hand where it rest on the cover and holds it in his own. I’ve always loved the feel of his skin on mines, if only for a moment he’s a comfort to have around.

His lips brush my wrist and he closes his eyes as he rubs his cheek against my wrist as well. I close my eyes too and find myself nearly falling to sleep, then he begins to hum softly and I open my eyes to watch him. It hurts to see him so kind to me and I want to cry in frustration, I want him to leave me alone…I want…I want…I want….but I need him here with me.

He stops humming but continues rubbing his cheek against my hand with his eyes still closed.

"Rose."

I wait for him to open his eyes and when he does I nod in encouragement.

"You know I love you right?"

I nod again. His face is so vulnerable and honest, its so open and trusting and kind and loving and all the good things I seemed to ignore before. But now I see, now I see him….and I don’t deserve it. But I know one thing….

‘I love you too’ I mouth.