"Love is blind - marriage is the eye-opener" - Pauline Thomason
The joy and the excitement that is felt while falling in love is beyond anything else in this world. This is something I am sure everybody would agree with. Have you noticed though, how couples have a tough time getting along after all the initial excitement? This is solely because at times, love is blind; most people tend to overlook many things about their partners. Therefore, problems arise when you realize there are certain things that affect the compatibility of the couple after marriage. Many couples probably face this situation and the sensible ones know how to overcome such situations and still keep their relationship going strong. If marriage is what you are contemplating, then there are certain things you need to know before you take the plunge. Everybody wants to have a happy marriage and you can certainly do so if you get a few issues cleared before you take the plunge. Any couple planning to marry should have a set of pre-nuptial questions ready so that they can know about issues that will affect their life post marriage. Here is a list of important questions to be asked before marriage, which can help you sort out some issues.
What is the main reason behind the decision of getting married?
Funny isn't it? You are all excited about getting married but many couples do not really know the reason behind this very important decision. Are you getting married because you have been seeing each other for too long? Is this because you are very lonely? Do you want to tie the knot because you are thinking this could be the only chance you have for a relationship? Do you think that your age is a factor for this decision? Whatever the reason, marriage is not the solution for problems, look at it in a different light and learn not to link different issues together.
What are your long-term goals as couple?
As a couple, you must ensure you discuss long-term goals together. This will help you to know each others thinking and help to know about the compatibility factor. Ensure you discuss career plans, as well as family issues that will help you to assess the situation and take effective decisions accordingly. It will also help to know if you are on the same wavelength about certain issues.
What is your compatibility level as a couple?
How compatible are you as a couple? Do you always adjust for the sake of the relationship or is it the other way round? Couples today need to understand each other completely before saying the words, 'I Do'. A compromise is always fine in any relationship but it should not happen all the time. Your compatibility is very essential to have a successful and happy marriage.
Have you checked about the responsibilities after marriage?
Love can make you overlook certain issues, which hold a lot of importance after marriage. Marriage would mean a lot of responsibilities and this should be something a couple should be prepared for. A couple therefore needs to talk about it before they plan to get married. These responsibilities would include a lot of things on a daily basis.
Do you have a clear-cut idea about the role that is expected from you?
Couples before marriage lead a normal life whilst they are going steady with each other. Post marriage, most things may have a different angle to it. What are your expectations from your partner? It is very important that you sort out these issues before you decide to marry your partner. Both of you need to specify the kind of role you would be playing post marriage. This would help you to get a clear picture about the same.
What about the customs and traditions?
If the couple hails from different backgrounds, then you would need to keep in mind how both would adjust to each other's customs and traditions. Things as a steady couple may seem different before marriage and post marriage as well. After marriage, such issues may prove to a hindrance to those who may not have paid much heed to it in advance.
What about the acceptance of families?
If you have the acceptance of families, then you would need to keep in mind about maintaining the relations as well. The couple needs to define what is expected from each other towards both families. Maintaining good relations with both families helps in developing better bonds. It would also mean your children have loving grandparents as well. Try to get to know each others' families. This will help you to strengthen your bond as couple as well. If the familial approval is a difficult matter, would you be able to take that all important step without it? For this, you need to sort out your priorities and know that you would probably have to be very firm about decisions.
I hope these questions help you sort out issues before you pop the question itself. Here's wishing you loads of luck in your endeavors!