Planning Nate's Wedding 12

P.S.-Eliza, thanks for your explanation, anyone else please do tell me what your fav story of mine was and more importantly why, it'll help me immensely for another story. Was it the plot? Characters? Descriptions, that kinda stuff. But anyway, hope you like this chapter...
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‘Mummy, don’t leave me like Nick.’ Daisy cries, clinging onto my leg as I drop her off at Kate’s.

‘Daisy, I promise you, I will come back.’

‘Nick left and now you’re leaving.’

‘Daisy, I am coming back, I promise you.’

But she doesn’t believe me. She’s lost all trust in everyone and it’s my entire fault.

‘Daisy, I’m coming back, ok?’ I kiss her forehead and say ‘I promise you. Thanks Kate.’

As I walk off, Daisy watches me intently, watching what way I turn in case I don’t come back. But she couldn’t come with me today. I’m on my way to see Nate and this needs to be done on my own. I called Mr Missing a few days after Nick left and explained I needed to see him and set things straight.

‘Hey’ I say approaching the park bench he’s sat at.

Nate looks up and nods for me to sit down. As I do, he mumbles ‘How could you, Freya?’

‘Nate, I am so sorry, you honestly don’t know how bad I felt afterwards because I loved you so much and I had just literally fucked it all up. But I was drunk, terribly, terribly drunk and jealous that you were away without me. Goodness, I missed you like hell and what happened was a stupid mistake, but you must understand, it had nothing to do with Oli. Oli was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I didn’t fancy Oli, I never have and never will, it wasn’t done because I felt a certain way for him, it was done out of plain ignorance. He was just there and he was looking out for me. It was nothing like us, Nate. Please understand.’

Nate lets this all sink in and says ‘Why Oli?’

‘Because he was there. We lost all control and got ahead of ourselves, it was so meaningless and quick, Nate, I didn’t love him or have feelings for him, it wasn’t done to spite you, honestly, it wasn’t. It was so careless and that's how I ended up pregnant. We didn't mean for it to happen.’

Nate leans back and looks out at the park which is predominantly taken over by children and their parents. Daisy and I would usually be here. ‘She looks like him.’ He comments. Thank you! Nate could have thrown everything I said back in my face, but he’s listening, I’m praying he’s understood what I said.

I smile and say ‘I know, I just hope she doesn’t turn all flower powery on me with his hippy charm.’

Nate smiles and I feel release. We’re making progress.

‘He’s such a bohemian.’ He comments.

I smile. ‘He is, God love him.’ I pause before saying ‘Oli feels exactly the same way as me. We never meant for this to happen and we are deeply sorry we hurt you, but I can’t say anymore. I’ve told you everything now, I can’t say anything else. I didn't tell you it was Oli because you needed him, you couldn't lose us both and you know he didn't mean to do it. Oli hasn't got a bad bone in his body, we were just incredibly drunk and foolish.’

‘When did he find out?’

‘When Lucy introduced us when wedding dress shopping.’

He nods and then says ‘Who was better in bed?’ with a smile.

I really do love Nate. I just can’t help myself. I smile and wrap my arms around his neck and say ‘You, without a doubt.’ And kiss his cheek firmly.

‘You know Lucy’s connected to Daisy, being Oli’s cousin.’ He points out.

I nod.

‘Everyone is connected to you in either one way or another and it... it tears me apart.’ Nate starts to tear up and I hug him tighter.

‘Hey hey, listen to me, they are not connected to me, only to Daisy, you are more connected to me, Nate and no one can take that away from either of us.’

He takes my hand in his and links the fingers, clasping them shut.

‘How are you feeling about the wedding?’ I ask, deferring the subject.

‘I don’t know.’

As much as it pains me to say this, I end up saying ‘She really loves you, Nate.’

‘I love her too, but you know I love you too. I always have and always will. If you didn’t do what you did, maybe it could all be different, but as much as I love you, I cannot be with you with Daisy. As much as the sweetest treasure she is, I can’t.’

Reluctantly, I nod and say ‘I know. I understand. Have you been home and seen Lucy?’

‘No, I needed to be alone and work everything through.’

‘Where have you been staying?’

‘Ethan’s.’

‘Lucy came to my house the other day and slapped me for what I did to you. I don’t blame her.’

He smiles-cheeky sod ‘She’s going to hate me for not telling her about you.’

‘Oh, I don’t know, I think she’ll forgive you.’

He shrugs and smiles again, looking at me this time ‘As much as I want to hate you, I actually can’t, I love you and want the absolute best for you.’

‘I love you too, I really do. I just hope Lucy knows how lucky she is.’ She better bloody well know it.

He blushes slightly then says ‘Do you want to go for a walk?’

‘I’d love too.’

We walk for a good hour until I need to leave for Daisy. She’ll be worrying that I’ve left her. ‘I must get back to Daisy.’

‘Who is she with?’

‘Kate, she thinks I’m going to leave her like Nick.’

‘Nick?’

‘Oh, he was my boyfriend; he left me a couple of days ago.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I wanted to see you.’

‘Did you love him?’

I nod ‘I think I did, I still do. I just couldn’t get over you.’ I say nudging him ‘I didn’t want you to marry Lucy, but you love her and she can offer you a wonderful new life, I realize that now, but I didn’t before. I’m happy for you, I really am. You’ll be good together. Anyway, I really have to go.’

‘Take care of yourself, Freya, I mean that. If you need my help, just call. Even though I’m not going to be with you, it doesn’t mean I will stop caring about you.’

‘You are too good to me.’

He smiles ‘I probably am.’

‘Talk to Oli, Nate’ I say before going.

‘Oh, I don’t know.’

‘You must. He really is sorry, as much as I am. You just have two stupid friends, both blonde, one's a bohemian and one's a bitch, please Nate.’

‘Oli’s not a bitch.’ He teases ‘And neither are you.’

‘Thank you. I’ve got to go.’

‘Freya,’

I turn back ‘Yes?’

‘Will you do one thing for me?’

‘What?’

‘Kiss me.’

I process his words falling from his beautiful lips that I would love to kiss but say ‘As much as I want to kiss you, Nate and more, I can’t. You’re Lucy’s and if I kiss you now, we’ll regret it. I love you, I love you immensely, but I need to move on. You can’t tease me with those lips.’

He grins and pulls me into his warm body, wrapping his arms around me and sighs ‘I love you, Blondie.’ He hugs me tightly and kisses my forehead. ‘Look after yourself, and I’ll see you soon. At the wedding?’

‘No, no. I don’t think I could handle that, everyone’ll hate me. But have a lovely day, her dress is stunning and she looks gorgeous, but the main thing is not the wedding, but the fact that you love each other. I hope she’s happy as Lucy Summers.’

Nate’s eyes have filled with tears and he says ‘You really are one loved up loser, aren’t you, Freya?’

I smile ‘I guess so.’

‘Tell me when you find the One, Frey. I want to know you’re happy.’

I sigh ‘I found him, Nate, but he’s flown away.'

'He'll come back if he loves you.'

I smile but know life is not a fairytale, and as much as I want him back, I don't think my Prince Charming wants me back after the awful way I treated him.

'Life's not that simple, Nate, you know that. Now I really have to go before Daisy kills me. All the best Nate and talk to Oli. He needs his best friend back, believe me.’

I drop Nate’s hand and feel like I have done the best thing in the world. I’ve confessed all and realized Nate will be happy with Lucy.

Even if we still love each other, I think we have room to love someone else a little more. Nate would never have been able to accept Daisy and she is my life. She is what I care about and Nate is happy with Lucy, and I couldn't have my happiness made out of a wrong. I know Nate's not the One for me, it just took me a long time to realize that we're made for other people.

I just think, my past has ruined my future and my possible future with Nick is all gone.

As I knock on Kate's door she gives me the look to say is everything ok. I nod and Daisy leaps out of Felix's arms and runs into mine 'YOU CAME BACK!' She says joyfully.

'Told you I would.'

'Where did you go?'

'To see a friend and say sorry.'

'For what?'

'You know what, silly mummy things.' I kiss Daisy's head and run my hands through her hair. 'We better get home, thanks Kate. Seriously, I love you to pieces.'

She waves her hand in response and shakes her head 'Don't be daft. Bye Daisy.'

Daisy blows Kate a kiss and we walk off hand in hand back home.

'Mummy, do you think if you said sorry to Nick he'd come back? Cos you know, if you say sorry everything is forgotten.'

I wipe my eyes to prevent tears escaping and say 'I don't know, baby.'

'Do you miss Nick as much as me?' She looks up at me and twists her lips waiting for my answer.

After a long pause and holding back fits of tears I say 'Yes, Dais, I really do.'